Solstice
by D.aisyBlues
Summary: Taj Williams is forced to move to Forks to try to escape her sorrowful past.But instead she meets the seemingly annoying and reckless Jacob Black. During her escapades with the mysterious Quileute group, she learns you can't run from your problems. DPSOV
1. Chapter 1: Skeletons

1. Skeletons

"Oh, come on Taj, cheer up,"Melissa said from the passenger seat, she was calmly lounging, her long auburn hair playing in the breeze. She let her arm hang casually on the window line, enjoying the gorgeous late August weather. I grunted and paused at the turn onto a long, winding wooden road, the street was deserted though, and I easily maneuvered the blue corvette onto the other street, cruising past the tall trees on both sides which cast a shadow on the road.

Mel pushed her sunglasses up on her head, I could feel her bright green eyes on me,"See? Your bummed mood is bringing the crummy weather back."

I knew Melissa was only trying to joke, to pull me out of my glum mood, she was my best friend and only wanted for me to be happy. I felt guilty for sulking the whole morning and during the ride to Forks, Melissa would be going home in a couple of days, and then she was off to college, and I wouldn't see her for a couple of weeks afterwards. I didn't want to leave her with bad memories, so I smiled a little and glanced at her, attempting to joke back.

"It _could _have followed, you know," I said, turning my gaze back to the road,"Or it could just feel threatened by your bubbly nature today."

I could almost sense the smile growing on her clear face. Score! Well, temporarily. Honestly I wasn't sure how long I could keep up a light-hearted mood. But could you if you were moving to a new town and losing your best friend? Plus all of the friends you'd had back at home. ..Or maybe this was better, well..never mind. Melissa pulled me away from my thoughts, thankfully.

"I'm surprised your dad let you drive the corvette here, knowing how you are,"She said honestly, switching the song on the cd player.

I wasn't offended by this comment, because, well... I _was_ a bit of a speed demon, especially when it came to fast cars, like my Dad's corvette for example. But I was more responsible than that, I wouldn't speed in his car. I wouldn't be able to see the light of day if I got into an accident with the corvette, and, to stamp out temptation, my Dad never, albeit rarely, tossed me the keys to his car. And plus that, I haven't been up to much of my old habits lately. Right now I was going a couple of miles under the speed limit actually, there was no thrill to go take advantage of the abandoned country road. Part of me could sense that Mel was hinting at this, that she would love for me to be my reckless self, even though it meant mild fear of my quick turns. But I only nodded slowly, glancing at her,"Yeah, me too. Maybe it really is a new start. Or, to be realistic, he could just be trying to cheer me up."

I knew that was the only reason why I was being allowed to drive the car from Seattle out to Forks, despite the several speeding opportunities because of the lonely country roads. My Dad knew I was bummed, and had tried to make some brownie points by letting me drive his precious here.

There was a momentary silence from Mel, I could feel her gaze on me,"Is It working?"

I didn't want to be cornered into a serious conversation, about how I felt, nonetheless. I let the lightest hints of a joking grin creep onto my face,"A little."

I could almost feel Mel relax a little and silence ensued the car once more as I scanned signs for the turnoff. I would miss Mel terribly when she left on Sunday, the two of us had been best friends since she had moved in next door when she was eight, I had been sitting on my front stoop one morning when I saw her get out of the car with her parents and her sister. She had looked at me and waved hesitantly, and I had waved back. Afterwards she had walked over and the two of us started talking, just like that. Afterwards we were inseparable. Out of all the people I had met in life, Melissa was the most mature, determined, and smartest. But even more than that, she was the most understanding. I didn't have to worry about saying anything wrong to Mel, I could tell her everything, and she understood or accepted it. She never tried to change or judge me, she accepted me as I was, and I could trust her with my life. There are very few people you meet in life like that.

But now she was going to Washington State. And, since the beginning of the summer, I was destined to move to Forks. My grandmother, Naomi, lived on the reservation and had owned a small store in town with my grandfather. He had passed away a few years ago though, and it was getting more difficult for her to manage the store by herself, so my mom was willing to take up a job as a manager, which would also mean that I would have to help out as a clerk as well. Which also meant that we would have to move to Forks for it to be easier to get to this new job and be within a reasonable distance to visit my grandmother. And, my rents had successfully found a three bedroom house a couple of miles away from La Push, the reservation, and not too far from town, either. Convenient, huh?

Though I was upset to be moving, it would be nice to be near my grandmother again. She was one of my favorite relatives, along with my late grandfather, she was always calm and understanding. Naomi just seemed to be able to sort out anything I was having trouble with, along with her guidance and kindness though, she was also firm. But that was something else I liked about her, she was always sure about her decisions. I remember when I was younger and went to visit Naomi in La Push for the weekend over the summer, she would always take me out on walks with my brothers. She would tell us things about the trees and the birds we saw, and I had listened in awe, how could one person know so much?

And when the weather wasn't agreeing, which in Forks, it usually wasn't, she would sit us down and tell us stories. Some of them were old myths from the Quileute tribe, and others were about the tribe's history, no matter what the story was though, it was always interesting. Naomi always became animated when telling these stories, she just had a way with words that made you stop and listen. As we got older though we mostly saw her around the holidays because she couldn't find someone to watch the store for a few days. I couldn't wait to go visit her, which I was planning on doing as soon as I was off manual labor, but one of the reasons I was eager to go visit her was that I knew she wouldn't try to corner me with my feelings with questioning. Everyone had been doing that lately, and though I understood they were only looking out for me, I'd just prefer to have some down time.

I found the road to turn on and did so, and the house was the first one on the right. It was set on a nice plot of property, set back a good distance from the road and secluded by a few trees, though this road didn't seem very busy. A long dirt driveway went back to medium sized white barn with black shingles, it seems slightly dilapidated, with a lot of the paint chipped away to the bare wood and the roof slightly caved in. Nothing a little paint and a couple of two by fours couldn't fix though. The large farmhouse was painted white as well, slightly faded in some spots though, it had a wrap-around porch with black shutters and shingles. The yard also needed to be weeded and mowed, and the bushes needed to be trimmed, but it wasn't anything to worry about. I saw painting in my near future though. Mel seemed to read my mind.

"I wouldn't be surprised if your mom had the paint cans ready to go,"She said as I pulled up to the curb and killed the engine.

"Shh,"I said, putting my finger to my lips,"She might hear you!"I grinned.

"Ahh, just the two girls I'm looking for!"A woman's voice called cheerily across the yard.

"Too late,"Mel said, making a mock defeated expression, I laughed a little.

My Mom, whom had been standing near the porch, walked up to the car and looked in the window, fixing me with a look of mild amusement,"Just because a corvette is fast doesn't mean it's soundproof, you know."

"One can only wish,"I said, giving my Mom a grin as I sat back in the driver's seat, the epitome of calm, cool and collected. My Mom was a pretty woman, her middle age only seemed to add to her beauty, she had high cheekbones and a tan complexion, her hair was shining black and fell lightly to her shoulders.

"Alright you two, out of the car, we have to get ready for the moving van,"She said, tapping on the passenger door before turning away.

I frowned a little and got out of the car, as did Mel, my Dad had left earlier than my Mom and I with the van, this way he could start getting the van ready for unloading before we got there. He should have gotten here half an hour ago.

"You mean Dad's not here yet?"I asked quizzically.

My Mom shook her head,"He probably got lost, you know how your father is when it comes to directions. If he would just _agree _to getting a cell phone we could call him, but.."She trailed off, shaking her head once more.

I couldn't help but smile, my Dad wanted nothing to do with technology, and this included getting a cell phone. My Mom had tried several times to convince him, but to no assent.

"Well, something _did _arrive here,"She continued after a moment, checking her watch,"And a little early too."

I quirked an eyebrow and the sound of a rumbling engine caught my attention. Mel and I whirled around as a large flat bed made it's way down the street like a gentle giant, parking in front of our house. On the flat bed was a 1990 Mustang GT five-speed, _my _Mustang GT, to be exact. The car, Neil, as I had nicknamed him [yes, _him_, was only partly finished though. Neil was currently missing both fenders and a hood, along with a front bumper. The car gleamed raw metallic silver in the light as the sun once again made it's appearance. I had the parts on order though, and they would be arriving within a matter of days, then it was just painting them and putting the parts back on the car. My Dad and I had bought Neil as a project and a first car for me, he promised he would help me with the more difficult parts of the project if I promised to help as well and get a job to pay for the parts. I was quick to agree, wanting a muscle car of my own and an opportunity to spend time with my Dad, since he was at work a lot. Neil was my pride and joy. Or at least he had been six months ago.

The truck's engine turned off and the driver got out, a tall, muscled man with a graying beard and moustache, along with the scruffy hair on his head. He broke into a grin when he saw us.

"Well, I got it here in one piece! And early too, speaking of early, where's Keith and Kyle?"He asked, looking around for the van curiously.

"They didn't get here yet,"My Mom answered,"Thank you, Ted."

"We give him a half hour head start and he's still late?"Ted shook his head, but he was smiling,"No problem, Julie, I owe Keith anyways."

"Ten bucks says he took the wrong turnoff at the last exit,"I spoke up easily walking over to Ted. It was easier to play along calmly now that there were more people around.

Ted put his hand up for a high-five, which I returned,"I'm keeping you to that,"He said seriously, but laughed.

I couldn't help but smile, Ted was like an uncle to me, he and my dad had grown up together and started their own mechanic shop. I had known Ted ever since I was a kid and I loved his easy-going nature, he was always in a light-hearted mood and it was hard to be upset for long when he was around.

"I'll pay you once we get settled in,"I told him calmly.

His dark gaze turned serious and he shook his head,"This is on the house, just don't hurt yourself with that thing, it ain't a toy."

I nodded slowly,"You won't have to worry about that." My gaze went over the Mustang, _no, not at all. _

His serious expression faded into a light smile,"I'll just back this into the driveway, since your dad parked the Charger in the garage when he came down last week. "

I nodded in response and without another word he walked back to the truck and started it up, backing into the driveway. I turned my head towards the garage, both barn doors securely shut, keeping it's secrets locked away. _Some ugly skeletons in that closet_, I thought. I had wondered briefly where my Dad had parked the Charger, he had come down a week early to check everything out one last time and drop off the car, since it would be a hassle to make two trips. It bothered me that he had put the car in the garage though, as if he was trying to hide it from me like an angry bruise that was too painful to look at..No, I was being too paranoid. He had just put the car in the garage so the weather wouldn't wear at it and no one would get ideas if they came by. _Easy Taj._

"Earth to planet Taj,"Mel said, snapping me from my thoughts. She smiled at my confused expression,"Come on, let's help Ted get Neil off the flat."

Ted had backed up into the drive already and was beginning to unhook the chains that kept the car on the flatbed, I followed Mel automatically and listened to Ted's instructions, glad to have something to busy my thoughts. Within fifteen minutes Neil was safely sitting in the driveway. The three of us, Ted, Mel, and I, pushed Neil farther up the drive to the garage, so we'd have room to bring in the van. Whenever the van got here, that is.

My Mom sighed after a few minutes of the four of us standing in the yard, she glanced at her watch again and then looked at me,"Taj, why don't you start bringing things up to your room? I have a feeling it's going to be a long night if your father doesn't get here soon."

I nodded obediently and Mel and I took some boxes out of the back of the corvette, walking into the large farmhouse. It felt unnervingly empty when we first walked in, there was no furniture in the house other than a large sofa that sat in the livingroom on our right, which was covered with a large white sheet. Otherwise it was an empty span of hardwood flooring, to the left was a large doorway which went to the dining room, and in front of us was a wooden staircase. I adjusted the boxes in my arms and let out a slightly unsteady breath,"Well, here we go.."

The two of us then cautiously walked upstairs and looked down the long empty hallway, there were four wooden doors, on the far left was the master bedroom, and one on the opposite wall led to the bathroom. I walked over to the last door on the far right, opening it with a creak. Instead of a room, it was another more narrow stairway which turned to the left.

"Jeez,"Mel muttered,"Talk about creepy."

I snorted,"You're telling me."

We walked up the staircase without another word and as I reached out to open the next door at the top of the stairs Mel suddenly broke the silence.

"Wait, "She said,"There could be a ghost in there."

I rolled my eyes,"Yeah and I'm a werewolf."I said, trying to be the mature one of our friendship, but I was only joking.

Mel made a face and I opened the door. The room ran the length of the upstairs floor, the ceiling shaped with the roof. Our footsteps echoed in the room, it was painted white, like the rest of the house, with classic wooden flooring. There was a window at each end of the room which let sunlight in to dance on the walls. The only furniture was an antique cherry wood dresser at one end of the room. I set down the boxes easily and looked around.

"Hey,"Mel said, she had already started exploring, she had opened one of the windows and was looking outside,"You can step down onto a lower section of the roof down here, and there's a tree right next to it."She stepped back and looked at me, waggling her eyebrows,"Perfect for sneaking out."

I laughed a little,"Yeah, my sneaking out days are over, I'm retired, thank you." I began to unload my traveling bag and put my clothes in the cherry-wood dresser.

"You _just_ turned seventeen,"Mel pointed out,"They've just hit full-swing! And soon, you'll have a getaway car too."

I shook my head a little, chuckling at Mel's persistence, but part of me felt a little sad too at how hard she was trying to find that reckless nature in me again. Usually I'd be all up for ideas of sneaking away for late nights, if not suggesting them by now. Had I really changed that much? And was it that easy to tell?

"If you say so,"I said lightly, folding the last t-shirt before putting it away and closing the drawer.

"Hey,"Mel said gently, and suddenly she was by my side, smiling,"Everything will be alright. It won't be hard for you to find friends, and I'll only be in Seattle. I'll come and visit as often as I can."

I looked at her bright green eyes, so calm, so sure,"Promise?"I asked, feeling a year younger than Mel on one of those rare occasions.

"Promise,"Mel nodded, smiling.

"Well, those kids better know what's comin' to 'em,"I said, grinning a little, letting a glimmer of my defiant, reckless nature show to cheer her up.

Mel laughed, happy to catch a glimpse of the old me,"You bet!"

My Mom's voice calling upstairs broke us from our conversation,"Mel! Taj! Dad and Kyle are here! And so is Quil!"


	2. Chapter 2: Challenge

2. Challenge

Mel and I quickly darted downstairs and outside to find the front yard bustling with activity. The moving van had arrived, now parked in the driveway, and my Dad and Ted were currently moving a chest of drawers cautiously down the ramp. Kyle, my younger brother, was helping my Mom carry in boxes.

"Mel, grab the boxes marked 'kitchen' and bring them in, would you?"She asked before walking into the house.

Kyle, my twelve year old brother was following, he looked more like my Mom, with the same shining black hair and high cheekbones. He seemed almost impish, with his dimples and light frame. I looked more like my Dad, with blonde hair that just fell to my shoulders and blue eyes, though I had the same almond shaped eyes as my Mom, I didn't think I had quite the same facial features. Ah genetics, who needs it?

"Wrong exit?"I asked, pausing for a minute.

"Yep,"Kyle said with a nod and a sigh as he walked on, looking at us over his shoulder,"And we were at least twenty minutes down the road until he noticed."

Ten bucks for me! But before I could go looking for Ted or even go to the van to get the boxes my Mom had asked for, two familiar figures came into view, well, seemingly familiar.

"Taj is that..?"Mel started slowly, her expression a mix between awe and puzzled.

"It has to be.."I said slowly, feeling the same as I looked at the grinning teen walking up to Mel and I, another teen walking by his side. The two of them were huge, at least six foot, and they weren't lanky either, they both filled out their height smoothly in muscle. They were both equally daunting though, definitely not someone I'd want to see on the street if I was walking alone at night. They each had black hair, the one that was grinning at me had his hair falling in front of his dark eyes. I immediately knew it was Quil, but I couldn't believe it...you would have thought they were both at least in their twenties, and the last time I had seen Quil we were almost eye-level, now he was at least three heads taller than me. Was it humanly possible to grow that much within a year or so? Quil was a cousin from my Mother's side, someone who shared the same joking, slightly rebellious nature as me. I would often hang out with him when I came to visit Naomi, Jacob was a common companion of his. I had practically grown up with the two of them.

"You shouldn't keep your mouth hanging open like that you know,"Quil said conversationally as he stopped near us,"You could swallow a fly."

I closed my mouth, not even knowing it had been slightly open,"Well..you grew."I said slowly, not sure how to quite state that.

"Grew is an understatement,"Mel commented, looking at Quil, she had hung out with Quil and I a few times as well when my family invited her to go to La Push with us.

Quil narrowed his eyes mockingly,"Or maybe you shrunk."He commented.

"Well it just seems like you finally took my advice about eating your vegetables,"I commented, finally settling into easy conversation after the initial shock,"What's new?"

"Not much, I heard that you guys would be here today, and you needed a couple of strong men to help you move in, so Jake and I decided to come over,"Quil said, trying to nonchalantly stretch his arms behind his head while flexing his biceps.

I frowned a little at him and made a movement to hit him in the stomach, but he quickly moved to block it, grinning at me. His smile was brilliant against his dark skin.

"Yeah, we said that you grew, not that you were Mr. Incredible,"I stated calmly.

"I might as well be the next best thing,"Quil said with another smile, Mel laughed a little.

I deliberately rolled my eyes, catching Jake's expression, he had grown so much too! It took me half a moment to realize that his dark eyes were on mine, his face was oddly calm and collected, but part of him seemed like he was trying too hard, like he was trying to hide something..

"Enough chit-chat guys, let's get to work!"My Mom said as she came outside and made her way to the van, breaking up our little group reunion. I was almost glad she did, there was just something about Jake that had rubbed me the wrong way. How his expression seemed like one of demanding authority and yet was oddly calm, but at the same time wasn't entirely, he had never been like that when we were kids. Maybe more had changed than I had thought. The four of us went our separate ways, Mel and I grabbing the boxes to bring into the kitchen, and Quil and Jake bringing in chairs for the dining room set. As the afternoon wore on I noticed their newly gained muscles weren't all for show, the two of them, along with insistent help from my Dad, carried in the dining room table.

I didn't get any time to report with Mel though, my Mom was constantly on duty, giving us things to unpack and put away, the only thing I could do was give her the occasional glance. By the time we had brought everything thing inside it was around dinner time, and there were still boxes that needed to be unpacked. Exhausted, everyone had decided to call it quits for the night, and my Mom had decided to order pizza for everyone, making a note to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

Deciding to leave the adults to talk, I grabbed Melissa and headed outside to sit on the front porch, Quil followed suit. The gentle lull of crickets filled the early evening air and the sun cast long shadows across the yard, I noticed that it was oddly, yet peacefully quiet. I was used to the busy evenings of Seattle, and though the decrease of noise level would take some getting used to, I was already enjoying it.

Quil had decided to start up a conversation,"So you're going to be a Junior, right?" He asked me.

I nodded,"Yep,"My curiosity suddenly grew,"What's the school like?"

Quil shrugged,"Nothing special, the teachers are pretty cool and the classes aren't anything to really worry about. If you're intelligent, that is,"He said, looking at me.

I looked over at him calmly,"Then how'd you make it to senior year?"

Melissa broke into a laugh at the joke, the smile disappeared from Quil's face momentarily,"Oh, just you wait.."

"Do I have to hold my breath?"I asked earnestly, looking him in the eyes. He gave me a sour look, but I switched the subject.

"Mel goes off to college this year."

Quil turned to Mel with interest,"Really? What school?"

"Washington State,"Mel said with a groan,"Don't remind me."

I playfully pinched Mel's cheek,"As long as you don't forget us little highschoolers!"

Mel pushed me away, wanting to be out of the spotlight,"Hey, where's Jacob?"

"I think Keith asked him to put something in the garage,"Quil said, thinking.

My defenses immediately went up, I jumped to my feet, keeping my tone light,"Well, he couldn't have gotten lost, let's go see what's taking him so long."

The three of us set off across the yard, my pace was quick and sure, I could see that the lights in the garage were on, and the door was slightly ajar. I took a calming breath, trying to keep my defensiveness under control. I slipped into the garage silently, the walls were bare wood, shelves lined them with cans full of bolts and nails. In the back a workbench was set up, a box marked 'garage' sitting on it, probably full of tools. Parked insidewas the shining black Charger, it's shining silver rims were spotless, it looked as if it had just left the showroom and was just waiting to be started up, to roar into life. An almost foreboding air radiated from it, circling me, the hood was up and I could see Jacob bent over it, looking at the gleaming engine with admiration.

Anger welled in me, but I kept my tone airy, though there was an icy edge in it, as threatening as a razor,"Hey, what are ya doin'?"I asked, walking over to him.

I had startled him, he suddenly jumped back, almost hitting his head on the hood of the car. Good, I was glad I had caught him off-guard. His shocked expression calmed and he attempted to smile, though his eyes said otherwise.

"Oh, nothing, I just decided to check out the car, it's pretty nice. I noticed you have shorty headers on it,"Jake said, trying to keep the conversation easy. He could tell that he had upset me somehow. That didn't mean I was going to go easy on him.

I glanced over the engine, the organized wires and tubes; it was like looking into the open torso of a human being. I reached over and swiftly closed the hood, leaning against the car, as if almost guarding it from him.

"Thanks, the sound is half the look,"I said, my eyes dead set on his dark ones.

Mel and Quil walked into the garage, Mel saw my defensive stance and tried to meet my gaze, Quil glanced at Mel and then at me, his expression puzzled, but then he seemed to notice I was leaning against the car and he got the hint, his face calming.

"I saw the Mustang outside before too, does your dad fix them up and sell them?"Jake asked, feigning curiosity. Electricity hung in the air.

"No, I fixed up the Charger, and I'm working on the Mustang now, and they're not for sale,"I was trying my best to keep the acidic tone from my voice, but to no avail. I wanted everyone to get out of the garage now, just to close the door behind us and go back inside, to have nothing to do with the Charger I was leaning against.

"Oh,"Jake said, his gaze still seemed lost, like he was trying to figure out how he had upset me,"Well that's cool."

The room was getting uncomfortable, Quil stepped into the conversation,"Speaking of engines,"He said,"I brought your bike over Taj, I figured that you could keep it here now."

"Yeah, let's go check it out,"Mel said quickly, she wanted to be out of the garage just as bad.

I nodded once,"Sure, thanks Quil."

Jake and Quil headed out first, I saw the questioning glance exchanged from Jake to Quil, but ignored it. Mel cast me a look as well, I met her gaze but shrugged and didn't say anything, flicking off the lights. I know that I had been rude, but I didn't care, I didn't want anyone near the car, anyone. I wanted to see as little of it as possible, and I would make sure of that. I closed the garage door easily behind us, and without a second glance I followed the group down the driveway.

Quil had brought the dirtbike over in the trunk of his pick-up, an ancient Kawasaki KX, it had been a racing bike, but I kept it at Quil's house so when I came to visit La Push the two of us could go riding on the back roads. It was something I had always looked forward to when going to La Push, but I wasn't that enthused when we unloaded the dirt bike and parked it in the driveway. I was still in an off mood because of the car. I leaned down and looked over the engine and clutch briefly, pulling on the break and clutch handles. Everything still seemed to be in order, though it probably needed oil.

"So this is your bike?"Jake asked casually, almost too casually.

"Yeah,"I replied, opening the oil cap and glancing at it, yep, it needed oil,"Well, my brother and I share it."

"Oh,"He said, but the way he said it sounded condescending, maybe I was just being paranoid. I stood up again though and looked over at him. There was an almost smug expression on his face, a challenging spark in his dark eyes. My defenses were rising again.

I wiped my hands off with a towel I had brought outside, my gaze dead set on his again,"What's it to you?"

"Oh I was just curious,"Jake replied innocently,"You're going to need a bit of practice though, you're probably pretty rusty."

I was mildly shocked by this comment, but I quickly regained myself. He was trying to get back at me for my behavior in the barn,"Says who?"I asked coolly.

"Well, you haven't been riding in a while,"Jake replied honestly, shrugging his shoulders. He was all innocence, Mr. Calm, cool and collected.

I stepped towards him, my gaze keen,"Maybe we could test my 'rusty' skills."I said, emphasizing the end of the sentence.

Jake's eyes brightened and a smirk grew on his lips at this challenge,"Are you suggesting a race, Taj?"

I fell short at a reply, seeing that I had successfully just dug myself into a hole. I hadn't been riding in a while, and honestly I didn't even have the urge to ride, like I used too. A smile began to grow on Jake's face as my silence fell and Mel began to speak, to break this up, but I easily cut in. If Jacob Black wanted a race, a race was what he'd get.

"Maybe I am,"I said, I wasn't afraid of him. My gaze sought his, looking to see him falter.

"Fine,"Jake said, not giving in, his smile fading,"Tomorrow, at La Push, you and I will have a race."

I folded my arms, shrugging,"Sounds good to me." I could take whatever he could dish out, and tomorrow I'd show Jacob he wasn't so tough. Authority would have to be earned. How hard could one little race be anyways? I had raced Quil and his friends in La Push before on the bikes, and it hadn't been a big deal. This wouldn't be any different.

I could feel Mel's gaze on me, unsure. But Quil was into the idea,"Jeez Taj, you haven't even been here a day and you're already up to your old tricks."

Yup, that was me, up to my old tricks. My gaze stayed on Jacob's, and once again I felt something amiss, like he was keeping something from me, from everyone. It made me uneasy, even a little scared. My Mom's voice broke the settling air of the evening, calling us all in for dinner. Once again, our group was broken up and we all headed inside.

Everyone was crowded around the table, bustling with conversation and laughter. Quil and Mel seemed to be involved in conversation the whole time, and I ate in peaceful silence, just observing and listening, what I did best. Mel had sat on my right, inbetween Quil and I, and I could feel her looking at me sometimes, wanting to discuss what had happened in the garage and outside, but that could wait until later. It was probably the first time I had seen so many people happily gathered at the table in a long time, at least a year. I couldn't help but appreciate it, and I really wondered if Forks would be a new start. If maybe things would be alright for a while. I had learned not to take things for granted though, to enjoy them while they're here, and that's just what I did with the occasion.

Slowly everyone started to leave after about an hour or so, Ted had work the next day and not long afterwards Quil and Jake left as well. Kyle went upstairs to start unpacking and my Dad wanted to go organize some parts in the garage. That left Mel and I under the surveillance of my Mom for dish duty. Finally, we were left alone in my room, we set up the base of the bed frame, but then we both decided to give up and work on it tomorrow, too exhausted to do anything else. After a half hour of simply discussing what had happened at dinner or questions of the near future I turned off the light and we camped out on the mattress. That's when I saw it coming.

"Taj.."Mel started, I couldn't quite see her in the darkness,"What happened today?"

I sighed slowly, reluctantly coming to address the subject,"..I don't know, I just saw him and the car..I _know_ I was rude, and that I wasn't fair. But, you know how I get.."

I know that my touchiness about the car wasn't an excuse, that Jake had only been wanting to look at it. But I still didn't want anyone near it, _I_ didn't even want to be around it. Still, maybe I had been a _little _harsh, and it wasn't like he knew..

"Yeah, I know, it's just, well Jake doesn't understand, y;know?"Mel said gently, I could feel her eyes on me in the darkness.

"Yeah, I know,"I said dejectedly,"But he _was_ being a jerk outside with the dirtbike, _you're going to need a bit of practice though, you're probably pretty rusty_,"I said, impersonating him,"I mean, what nerve!"

Mel chuckled a little, her laugh soft in the darkness,"Well, you probably are. Plus, you were a little less than kind in the garage."

"So?"I said, addressing the first part of her statement,"It doesn't take a brain surgeon to ride a dirt bike. I'll be okay."

"It could be dangerous Taj, that's the last thing you need, to just move in and come home to your mom with a broken arm, I'm sure she'd be thrilled,"Mel pointed out.

My eyebrows furrowed in the darkness, though Mel couldn't see me,"We'll just say we're going to visit Naomi, which we will. So she won't even know that we were racing, she's shopping tomorrow too, so, we get home and shower before she gets back. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. I thought my 'old tricks' would please you anyways."

I was afraid that maybe I had struck somewhere tender with that last statement, I know that Mel was only worried about my safety and didn't want me getting in trouble right when we moved in.

"Well, it is nice to see the old you.."Mel said slowly, pausing for a moment before finishing,"But that doesn't mean I want to see you get hurt, Taj."

"I know,"I said simply, staring up at the ceiling. Moonlight filtered in through the window, and shadows danced intricately across the ceiling. I thought briefly of a book my Mom would read to me when I was younger, about a boy who saw shadows in his room and they took the form of animals, all fighting over a ring, which was really the ring to the window shade. _And the jackal spied the crow, as he crouched from down below, he planned to fight and snatch the ring, so he instead could be the King._

"You know.."Mel said, and I could hear the smile in her voice,"Have you given the thought that maybe Jake is acting this way because he likes you?"

I blinked and sat up,"Are you serious?"

I could hear Mel sit up slightly,"Well, it's a possibility, he kept looking at you today. He's not bad looking either."

Ew. Jacob _and me? _Together? Ha! No way. There'd be a better chance of it snowing tomorrow. I thought of the times I had spent with him and Quil when we were kids and I almost started laughing, and then I thought of his serious, almost aloft expression earlier. The laughter died in my throat.

"Something's changed with him, I can tell by his face. It's like he's hiding something,"I said, looking to where I thought Mel was.

I felt her hand push me playfully,"Maybe his lurve for youu,"She joked.

"I'm serious,"I frowned a little," I just get this feeling like something's wrong." I was praying that she knew what I was talking about, that she could sense it too.

There was a pause before Mel continued,"Yeah, they do seem different. But I'm sure we do too, it's been a while since we've last seen them."

She didn't quite understand, I decided not to push the subject further and laid back down,"Yeah, I guess."I said slowly, though I was almost sure of otherwise.

Mel didn't continue the conversation though, she had already fallen asleep.


	3. Chapter 3: Fast Lane

3. Fast-Lane

"...And..she's..gone,"I said as my Mom pulled away in her shining red Mazda, going shopping for the afternoon. My Dad had left earlier this morning for work, leaving Melissa, Kyle, my Mom and I to unpack more this morning. Mel and I had first started with finishing setting up my bed, and then we had went downstairs for breakfast and to help my Mom set up the entertainment center. We let my Mom know that we would be going to visit Naomi this morning, and she had been fine with that, but she had said to keep Kyle away from the dirt bike. Well, she had never said anything about me riding it.

It wasn't too long before Quil showed up in his truck, I helped him load the dirt bike, and then the four of us squeezed into the cab and set off for La Push. The sky was a sulky overcast gray, the sun nowhere to be seen. Predictable Forks weather. It had rained earlier this morning, which meant the dirt was perfect for riding, I had made note of this and had just thrown on an old t-shirt and a pair of faded jeans, along with a pair of beat up sneakers, knowing I'd probably be muddy by later this afternoon. I wasn't apprehensive about the race though, not like I used to be, the point was to try my best, and if I didn't win, I'd at least have to give Jake a run for his money. This shouldn't be too difficult. I had thought over the way I had acted yesterday though and the more I thought about it the more guilty I felt, Mel was right, it wasn't like Jake had known what happened. And then I thought about the two of us as kids, how kind and good-natured he had been. Maybe I was being a bit paranoid, so I was willing to let things go and start over, I just hoped that he would as well.

My thoughts on Jacob dissipated though as we pulled up to a small log-cabin house set on a hill, encircled by pine trees. An older woman sat on a chair on the front porch, her dark gray hair fell in two braids, her dark eyes had a soft, welcoming expression. As she saw Quil pull up she began to stand and I quickly got out of the cab and jogged over to Naomi, Kyle following suit. She held her arms open, and the two of us embraced briefly before I stepped back, a smile was on her features.

"It's been a while, Taj,"She said, her voice gentle, looking at me,"You've grown so much!"

I nodded,"Too long,"I glanced back at Quil, who was walking up with Melissa,"I wouldn't say I grew too much. How've you been?"

"Fine, fine,"Naomi responded off-handedly.

"Hello Naomi,"Melissa said in greeting as she and Quil stopped near us.

"Oh,hello dear, how've you been?"Naomi asked with interest.

"Oh, alright I guess,"Mel said with a smile, looking at me.

Naomi chuckled and then hugged Kyle, messing his hair,"And look at you! Have you been staying out of trouble?"

"Attempting,"Kyle said meekly, shrugging, but there was a smile on his face.

Naomi laughed a little,"Well that's good enough for me. Did you settle in alright?"

"Everything went fine, with Jake and I's help of course,"Quil said with a grin, I gave him a look.

Naomi shook her head a little but said,"Well as long as you found everything to your convenience. Where is your mother?"

"She went out grocery shopping, but she said that she would call when she got back,"Kyle said.

Naomi nodded slowly,"Well let's all sit down, I'd like to hear how everyone's been."

The five of us gathered around the small table in Naomi's cozy kitchen. It was the same as I had remembered, all polished oak with pictures of family members hanging up on the walls. I could stand there for hours and look over every photograph, and Naomi had a story for each. We each updated her on what was going on while she offered us iced-tea, I was more involved in conversation than at dinner last night, I hadn't seen Naomi in a long time, and I was happy to be back with her again. First we started off with the subject of school, along with Melissa's college news and ideas of where Quil might be going, and finally we moved onto the subject of the store and what had been going on lately around La Push.

"Nothing much dear,"Naomi said, answering me,"Sam always has things under control."

Quil smiled at this, as if priding himself.

I quirked an eyebrow,"Who's Sam?"

"He's a new member of the Council, he was voted in last year,"Naomi explained,"Very nice man, friends with Quil."

"Really,"I said, my gaze turning to Quil.

He nodded,"I've known Sam for a couple of years now."

It struck me as slightly odd for Quil to be hanging out with someone who was on the Council, jeez had things changed.

"Well we'd better start heading off, I said we'd meet Jake at two,"Quil said, glancing at the clock.

"God forbid you're late to see _Jacob_,"Kyle said, getting up from his chair.

"Well alright, I have to start getting ready for work anyways, electricity doesn't pay for itself you know. Now all of you stay out of trouble, and I expect to see you soon,"Naomi said, giving Kyle a hug before everyone said their good-byes and began to leave, I was the last to follow and Naomi called me back for a minute.

I stopped and turned back to face her. Her gaze was sorrowful now, almost pitying, something I couldn't bear to look at. So I didn't, instead averting my gaze to the floor, anywhere, anywhere away from her hurt expression. She stroked my hair before placing her hand on my shoulder,"How have you been child?"

I know that she really meant it, that she wasn't looking for a 'good thanks' in response. I had reacted afterward differently than Kyle, I hadn't broken down the way he or my Mom had, no, I had become bitter, I had become a silent, glaring ghost, swallowing up everything inside. People had said this wasn't healthy, that I would explode someday, and people worried. I could tell by the way my Mom looked at me sometimes when she thought I wasn't looking back, or by the way Melissa pried for my reckless nature that seemed not to exist anymore, but what hurt worst of all was the way I could tell by my Grandmother's eyes. Those pitying dark eyes.

I felt my voice catch in my throat, I swallowed and answered calmly, honestly,"Getting by."

I had not faltered yet, and I did not plan on doing so now, on giving in to the torrent that constantly encircled me, that lived in my shadow. Something that had become a part of me, a newer, stronger, bitter part of me. It was like when you broke a bone, the pain intensified, but when the bone healed, it was stronger than before. But this-..this was a break that hadn't quite healed, like walking with a splint. But it was about taking things a baby step at a time, getting through day by day.

"It's tough,"Naomi said with a sigh and a gentle nod, her eyes looked wistful, as if she was going back to a happier time, fading from me,"I know it's tough."

"But we have each other,"She said suddenly, gently, her gaze returning to mine,"That's what family is for, to lean on when we aren't strong enough. And you are the strongest Taj, but you shouldn't have to carry the burden by yourself. ..You're so..defensive now, almost.."She trailed off, looking for the word.

_Hostile. _I could find it for her, because I knew the word, I had heard it before. I felt tears sting at the back of my eyes but I blinked them away with mild ease, looking into Naomi's dark eyes,"I just grew up, that's all." I told her, attempting to give her a smile, wanting to reassure her. But there was so much more, I knew she knew, but she wouldn't drag it out of me, she wanted me to be ready to face my demons.

She gave me a weak smile in response and for only the second time, to me she actually looked her age,"Alright, that's all I wanted to hear, but if you ever need to talk.."She told me.

"Thank you, grandma,"I said gently, and I meant it.

Naomi nodded, a true smile growing on her face, making her look years younger,"You're welcome dear."

"What was that about?"Quil asked after I got in the cab and closed the door, he started up the engine.

"She just wanted to go over the store schedule with me,"I lied, exchanging a look with Melissa as we pulled away from the house. It was so easy to communicate with her. I watched the passing scenery in calm silence while Kyle and Quil picked up amiable conversation, Mel listening intently and adding her opinion every so often. We drove all the way to the outskirts of La Push, past the small, neat homes and to the beginning of the evergreen forest. I could see Jake sitting with a few other kids on a low wall, his smile standing out brilliantly on his face. A dirt bike, as ancient as my Kawasaki, was leaning against the wall near them. Quil parked the truck and we all got out, but I paused for a minute, taking in the scene.

Apart from Jacob, there were two other boys, just as tall and muscled as Jake and Quil were. Their hair was cut in the same short style, if you hadn't known them, you would have thought they were all brothers. What had happened to all of them? Was there something in the water, or some new gym group I wasn't aware of? With the boys there was one girl, sitting near a boy on the left who was wearing cut off faded jeans and a worn out t-shirt. She had fair hair and tan skin, her deep eyes were kind, and with the way the two of them were looking at each other it could easily be told that they were a couple. I didn't recognize the girl, but the boy she was talking to looked familiar. Jacob was talking to the other boy, but the two had fallen silent as Quil walked up. Jacob's dark gaze fell on me, meticulous and icy, and I noticed his shirt was missing, showing off his chiseled abs. I took mild annoyance at this, but then the familiar boy was walking over to me, a small smile on his face. He, like the others, was a couple of heads taller than me.

He reached out and mussed my hair, his hand slightly warm,"Hey Taj, remember me?"He asked, his eyes bright.

I frowned a little, trying to place his face, and then my features smoothed in realization,"Emry!"I exclaimed, enthusiastic to see him again,"How've you been?"

"Good thanks,"Emry said, his smile growing even more,"Lisa and I heard you were having a little banter with Jake today, so we decided to show up for the show."

"Oh,"I said casually, glancing at Jacob, he wasn't looking at me anymore, now talking to Quil,"It won't be much of a show, believe me."

Emry laughed a little, and it was then I noticed the girl, Lisa, was standing quietly at his side and they were holding hands.

Before I could say anything more though, the other boy, whom I had never met before had walked up to me and was scrutinizing me, like Jacob had been only a few moments before,"So this is your cousin, Quil? The one that claims she can beat Jacob?"

There was a teasing smirk on his features, almost smug, and a wild glint in his eyes. I felt my anger rise, I didn't like being looked over like this, like I was some type of animal. Something waiting for approval.

Before Quil could answer I spoke up smoothly, wanting to wipe the smirk off of his face,"My name is Taj, and I don't claim, I _know_ I can. Have we met?"

The boy laughed a little at my haughty response, the spark in his eyes unfading,"Woah, I wouldn't count your chicks before they hatch. I'm Paul."

"Pleasure,"I said icily, watching him with a calm expression.

"I told you she was feisty,"Jake said, walking up to stand next to Paul, he had the same expression as yesterday, calm, but not being able to quite pull it off.

I raised my eyebrows at this, cutting words jumping on my tongue, maybe my apology could wait a little while..

Melissa, once again, jumped into the conversation before the jibes could go any further, I was reminded oddly of the Pre-K teachers on the playground.

"It's nice to meet you, Paul. I'm Melissa,"She said, her tone light and a smile on her face, though her eyes said otherwise," So what have you guys been up to?"

"Waiting for this 'race' to get going,"Paul said, looking me up and down," Now that you guys are here how about we get this over with?"He said, looking at me and then Jake.

Jacob glanced at me and then nodded,"Sounds good to me."He said easily.

I shrugged my shoulders,"Alright, let's go."

I strapped my helmet on and kicked the bike into life, it immediately started, the engine whirring, it sounded oddly familiar to hailstones hitting against tin. I revved the engine, letting the bike warm up. It should run fine, I had put more oil in this morning and added some fuel, testing the brakes and clutch briefly. The only process of the start up that was different was that I felt no sudden thrill of adrenaline and excitement race through me, making my heart hammer in my chest. There was no eagerness, no passion in this, not like there used to be. Right now, this felt as calm as walking out to get the morning paper. Jacob stood next to me, having borrowed someone's bike for this morning. [He had put his shirt back on, thankfullyMy Kawasaki was only an 80, whilst his bike was a 125, a giant compared to mine, and still he seemed too big for it. Like an adult riding a tricycle. The engine roared to life, easily drowning mine out.

"Okay,"He said, looking at me, I strained to hear him over the engines,"The rules are that there are no rules. One lap around the path, it follows along a back road, and then it goes through the woods before coming back."

I thought he was finished, but he surprised me by continuing,"Oh, and if you don't think you can keep up, you can just stop. You know, so you don't embarrass yourself."

I felt my jaw drop incredulously. No _way_. As I began to retort, Jacob turned away and revved his engine more, drowning me out, and Paul walked up, getting ready to tell us to start. I _had_ to win now.

Paul stood between us, raising a hand, it was then I noticed he had the same calm expression as Jake had. One of authority, as if he was above everything. I was beginning to hate that expression, I revved my engine, getting ready to kick the bike into gear. The heat from the engine was already radiating through me, and I could feel sweat starting at the back of my neck.

"Ready..set.."Paul said slowly, watching us both carefully. A smile started at the corners of his lips.

The bike below me snarled in anticipation.

"Go!"Paul yelled and dropped his hand.

I kicked the bike into gear and let go of the clutch a little too quickly, causing the bike to jump ahead. I held on tightly, startled at first, Jake pelted ahead, taking an early lead. I could hear whoops and yells from the group, my eyes narrowed and I pulled back hard on the throttle. The bike soared forward on the flat, I switched the clutch into fifth gear and settled in for the ride as the turf flew past. I squinted against the wind pushing against my face and it was only a matter of time before I caught up with Jacob, resting right behind him on his left. Okay, so technically I was in his blind spot, but only temporarily, I would wait until the first turn to get ahead. Though Jake had a bigger bike, his was an automatic, and by what I could tell it was an off-road bike only. Thus I had the advantage.

I followed Jake in silence as the first turn, going to the left and into the woods, drew ever closer. The scenery blurred by, a mix of dark brown of the soil and gray of the sky merging together. Finally I pulled into the turn and switched gears, then pulled back on the throttle, holding on as the bike flew ahead, disappearing into the emerald green of the trees.

The woods were oddly silent, trees by the thousands and varying in girth and height, and the forest floor was covered in dead leaves and low foliage, except for the narrow dirt path that snaked ahead. It was calm and peaceful though, no noise other than my engine and the sound of Jake's bike close behind me. It reminded me of when Quil and I would go riding when we were kids, we would spend the whole day out in the woods. The world felt at ease, like everything just felt like it would be okay. And for a moment I forgot that this was a race, and started enjoying myself. I smiled a little in spite of myself and pulled back on the throttle once again, and to my exuberance, pelted ahead once more. This was freedom, being able to leave my worries behind me, for a few moments, at least. It was then that I heard a sudden growl of Jacob's bike from behind me and we were side by side, fighting for the lead. I glanced at him but he was looking ahead, determined.

I gained my focus again and pulled at the throttle, but no matter how hard I tried, Jacob managed to keep up. A small mound of dirt was quickly approaching, a small jump might break the tie. I sat forward a little, preparing for the jump, I'd switch gears on the landing, back to fifth, which would leave him behind for a little while. Hopefully it would be enough time to give me a good lead, this way I could win without a problem.

At the last minute I pelted to the jump and for a few moments I was airborne, the soil rushing to meet me. I revved the engine once again and switched gears, and finally met the soil in a soft landing. Perfect.

We were nearly out of the woods, the path widening in front of us. I heard Jacob land with a soft thump, now it was the time to speed ahead. I pulled back on the throttle quickly, at entirely the wrong moment.

A figure darted out from the lush brush, running across the path, and in front of me. It was a dark and furry animal, dog-like, probably a fox or something. It had probably heard the noise and had been startled and decided to run away, but in the wrong direction. It stopped dead for a moment, frozen in fear as my bike and I came barreling towards it. My eyes widened in shock, staring at the golden eyes that looked back at me. At the last second I pulled on the brakes and whipped my bike hard to the left, going off the trail, and causing the back tire to dig into the moist soil and have the bike slide out from under me. Oh, and with my luck, there was a tree two inches in front of me.

Thus, I did what all great dirt bikers do, let the bike go. The Kawasaki crashed into the tree, and with momentum, I hit against it as well, managing to bend my hand back against the throttle. Pain shot up through my arm, dulling only slightly after a moment. Then gravity took care of the rest. I laid on my side for a moment, groaning for a moment before getting up slowly. Thankfully I'd managed to get my leg out from under the bike, or I'd probably be in much more pain than I was now. The bike's engine slowly died and I glanced at the path for the fox, but it had disappeared. All to save a fox from becoming a pancake.

Jacob had stopped and gotten off his bike, walking to me quickly,"Are you okay?"He asked suddenly.

"Yeah, I'm fine,"I answered unenthusiastically. Other than the dull throbbing from my wrist, that is. I didn't bother to look at his face, he was probably trying to hide a smirk. I looked over my wrist and frowned, it had smarted, turning a bright red, and it was hot. Yeah, I could probably expect swelling within the next few minutes. I unbuckled my helmet and picked up my bike, wincing slightly as I bent my right wrist. That was not a good sign.

"Here, let me see your wrist,"Jake said, stepping towards me.

I pulled away from him,"I'll just get it checked out later. I can walk the bike back fine." Okay, so I was a _teensy _bit stubborn.

Jake sighed in exasperation, holding out his hand,"Come on, stop being so difficult."

_Me?_ Difficult? Ha! I rolled my eyes but held my hand towards him, allowing him to get a better look at my wrist.

He looked over it carefully, his dark eyes determined, then he nodded a little,"Yeah, it's probably sprained."

Good, now I knew he wasn't blind.

He then turned away from me, picking up his bike,"Come on, you can ride on the back. I'll take you to Naomi's and Quil can come back and grab your bike. They can meet us there later." He didn't wait for me to object, starting up his bike. He sounded like an adult simply telling me what to do.

I glowered at him, but didn't feel like arguing anymore, so I swung my leg over the back.

"You might want to hold on,"Jacob said pointedly, glancing at me over his shoulder.

I was so taking a shower after this. I wrapped my arms gently around him, holding on, but as soon as his body came in contact with mine, warmth ran through me. It was like when you stood outside on a Summer afternoon, pure sunshine. I raised my eyebrows at this curiously, was he running a fever or something? But before I could make a comment, if I'd wanted too, he started off at an easy pace along the path. I was silently fuming, mostly annoyed with myself. I'd looked like such an _idiot_, and now I'd look even worse in front of everyone else. It was only a few moments before we were within eyesight of the group, they saw Jacob and I and as we drew nearer I could see their curious expressions. Mel looked slightly worried, sure that something had gone wrong. Jacob pulled up to them and at once questions were pelted, to my dismay.

"A fox ran across the path and I tried to avoid it. And hit a tree..I think I sprained my wrist so we're going to go to Naomi's so she can get a look at it,"I answered calmly, avoiding their gazes.

Mel's gaze went to my wrist and her eyes widened, the others were calmly silent, except for Paul, who had an entirely different reaction.

"_Smooth_,"He said, laughing, a smug smile on his face.

"Hey, shut-up Paul,"Quin said, frowning,"She's hurt."

Paul's laughter died, but there was still a big smile on his face.

Quin looked at me and then Jacob,"We'll meet you at Naomi's in a few minutes,"He said with a nod.

Without another word, Jacob took off along the road. I held on for the ride, my wrist gently throbbing now, and I wanted to get away from Jacob. Other than the obvious, the heat was beginning to get uncomfortable. We pulled up to Naomi's house and she came out on the porch as Jake leaned his bike against one of the trees.

"Hello, Jacob, Taj..what trouble did you get into now?"She asked calmly as I took my helmet.

I would always wonder how adults could do that.

"She was riding and fell, we think she sprained her wrist,"Jacob answered amiably as he walked up the steps.

"Ah,"Naomi said, hold out her hand to me,"Let me see, child."

I glared daggers at the back of Jake's head as I walked up to Naomi, my expression calming a little as I held my hand out to her. She had always been well with minor medical wounds, like sprains, cuts or stings. My Mom trusted her more than most doctors.

Naomi held my wrist, clucking to herself as she looked over it, her eyebrows furrowed. Then she applied gentle pressure to my wrist, which had begun to swell by now, I winced slightly as the throb of pain increased, but said nothing."You'll live,"Naomi said after her inspection, looking at me,"I'm positive it's a sprain, nothing too serious. Let's get some ice and wrap this."

The three of us then walked inside and sat at the kitchen table as Naomi wrapped my wrist. Jacob seemed to be lost in thought, sitting in calm silence.

Naomi placed a small bag of ice on the table,"Ice it for now, and then I'll give you a splint for it. I'd advise wearing it for at least a week."

"Thank you, Naomi,"I said, taking the ice and putting it on my wrist to bring down the swelling.

She nodded gently,"You owe someone else thanks, as well."She hinted, glancing at Jake.

"Yeah, thanks Jake,"I said, my gaze turning to him. He had helped me, after all. Even if I thought he was egotistical, he had helped me.

"You're welcome,"Jake said, though his expression was unreadable.

It was then that Quil, Mel and Kyle walked in the house, mildly disrupting the peace.

"Are you okay?"Mel asked, sitting at the table next to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just sprained."I replied, glad that she was there.

"Good,"Another voice said, walking into the house,"Then maybe you're well enough to explain what's going on, and why you're covered in dirt."

I could almost hear a click as I turned my head quickly to meet the cool gaze of my Mother. Ooh, if looks could kill. I could only imagine how I looked, with my hair mussed and covered in dirt, the left pant leg of my jeans was completely covered in soil from when I had fallen, and there was a scrape on my left arm. I was so dead.

"Umm,"I started, clearing my throat. My mother looked at me cooly, awaiting an explanation. The room had become uncomfortably quiet.

"Oh, Taj was racing with Jacob and she hit a tree,"Kyle said calmly.

"What?!"My Mother asked, her eyes widening.

Good old Kyle.

I quickly tried to explain, to calm her down,"No, well, a fox ran in front of me and I _had_ to avoid it. It's not as bad as it sounds. I mean, you never did say anything about _me_ riding the dirt bike."

My Mother's dark eyes narrowed, she was not pleased,"That doesn't mean I expected you to go out gallivanting today, and _racing_ someone? Not to mention you could have gotten hurt even worse than you did, you weren't even wearing proper gear."

Ah, the good old Mom lecture.

"Well.. I was wearing my helmet,"I said helpfully, hoping maybe a sense of light-hearted humor would soften her up.

"Oh,"My Mom said, laughing a little,"You're coming home with me, and we're going to have a _long_ talk."

Well..there hadn't been anything wrong with hoping..right?


	4. Chapter 4: Missing

4. Missing

"This is the way it has to be,"She said, her voice soft, comforting. Her eyes sparkled and a sort of sad smile came over her flawless features. It was a smile that I wanted to make disappear, I wanted to erase that sorrow from her face, and I'd do anything to do so. Anyone would have. She was beautiful, her hair lushly falling to her shoulders and framing her pale, heart-shaped face. Even more beautiful than before, but it only proved what she was. It only showed the fork in our paths.

We were born enemies, since our ancestor's creation. But I didn't _want_ to hate her. I loved Bella; as a best friend, and more than that. Why did she want him when she could have _me_? What did that parasite have that I didn't? I was just as devoted, I would be just as caring, even more so. I knew what was best for her too. And she wouldn't have had to have changed for me. If she had chosen me, things would still be the same. She would still be human, and we would still be friends. And better yet, we wouldn't have to worry about some bloodsucker running after her. Everything would be perfect, better than perfect. But she had chosen him, and now she was gone. Now I was left with even less than what I'd wanted. And that was even worse. But that's the way the world works, right? You don't know what you have until you lose it, appreciate what you have, while you have it.

Mostly what I didn't understand though, was why Bella had chosen to be a vampire otherwise. It was what they stood for, cold-blooded murderers. They had no boundaries for who they killed, whether it was someone older and near the end of their life, or just a little kid. People who had _lives_. And the reason behind all of this killing was just for their own survival, for their undying thirst; one of the most selfish acts imaginable. How could she _live_ with that? With being universally known as a killer? I hadn't wanted her to be looked at that way, and I still didn't imagine Bella as a thirsty parasite. But that was what she was, in all reality. But she had had a _choice_.

"No it doesn't!"I yelled, reaching out to her, but before my fingers could skim her arm, she faded away. Honestly, if it did have to be the way it used to be, with her seeing that bloodsucker, but still being able to hang out with me; I'd settle for it. Because that's just how much I miss her.

"Jake. _Jake! _Will you at least _try_ to act like you're awake?"

I felt something hit my head gently and I opened my eyes, jerking awake at the sound of Quil's voice, there was a rolled up newspaper in his hand, which he had used to hit me with. I blinked and looked around the table, rubbing my eyes to wake up a little. The pack was gathered at the table, we had decided to hold a small meeting at Emily's house, Sam calling it last minute.

"Sorry,"I mumbled my thoughts still on the dream. Quil looked at me for aminute, his eyes meeting mine. He knew what I had been dreaming about, or who, I should say, but he knew better than to comment, especially with the pack around. But I couldn't help it, though I wanted to. I had been having the dreams ever since she had left, some of them with her as one of them. But the ones that were worse was when she was the same, and the dream would play out like any other day we were hanging out. And then I would wake up, and reality would come rushing back.

"As I was saying,"Sam continued calmly as if there had been no disturbance in the first place,"We'll have to keep an eye out. It could just be a natural disappearance, but rather safe than sorry."

I blinked, trying to listen more intently to what was going on. Someone had gone missing in town a couple of days ago, just out of the blue, and the police didn't have any leads. Of course, _we_ had a theory, but there wasn't any proof yet.

"We could try looking across the boundary line,"Paul suggested. I swear the only time he seemed amicable was when Sam was around to keep him in line.

Emry shook his head, frowning a little,"If it was in town, wouldn't we know by now?"

"It wouldn't hurt to check,"Quil said, shrugging. I stayed silent, hardly involved in the conversation. It didn't make too much of a difference to me right now anyways, things hardly had lately.

"If it was a new one we would know,"Sam said,"One of them could have slipped up and cleaned up well. Otherwise we'll still search the area, and tomorrow night we'll start over the border line. I think we'd all work best with partners though, two sets of eyes will be better than one."

"Not that one of us would miss something,"Paul said smugly.

Sam looked at him pointedly, but said nothing.

"Speaking of 'new ones'," Emily said, she was standing near Sam, drying off a dish,"Hasn't Naomi's other daughter moved back with her children?"

Quil nodded,"Kyle and Taj, Kyle's not old enough yet though."

"But Taj.."Emry said slowly, trailing off.

Sam was quiet for a few moments, thinking,"It's a fifty-fifty chance. We _are_ close to the coven, but their activity has become very subtle. It wouldn't surprise me if she didn't change."

Paul laughed,"Taj one of us, that's an interesting thought."

Quil frowned, scowling,"You could be more sympathetic Paul. Taj is pretty nice once you get to know her."

"Yeah, I'm sure she is, in an alternate universe,"Paul said off-handedly.

Quil growled softly.

"Okay guys, play nice,"I said, deciding to interject. The last thing we needed was another skirmish between Paul and one of the pack members. It was true though, the coven had become more subtle, their appearances in town were very few, except for their leader. They were almost isolated, so what would be the point of another werewolf?

"How do you think she _would_ be?"Same inquired, his gaze turning to Quil.

Quil was quiet for a few moments, his gaze turning to the table, he shrugged,"..I'm not really sure."

_..Probably more aggressive.._

I frowned a little at Quil's thoughts, didn't he know by now there wasn't a point in not giving a straight-forward answer anymore? I thought about Taj's personality and could easily picture her like Paul, well, okay I'd give her some justice, maybe not as bad as Paul.Most new members of the pack were a little more aggressive, but with Taj I could picture it even more so. I remembered her expression from yesterday when Quil and I had first gone to the house, before her initial surprise. There was just something about her face, about her eyes that was accusing, defensive; _cold_. Like someone who had been hurt and learned from it. She had been even worse in the garage, when she had been acting on that frost held inside. How would she act if she was one of us? She could possibly be dangerous. But Taj had never been like that when we were kids. She was the complete opposite, always smiling and laughing, friendly, and as reckless as well..me. That's what I had liked most about her, the flare, the brightness in her face and in her eyes, and she hadn't cared what other people thought.

I compared the two faces in my mind, one as bright as the sunlight, the other as bitter as Winter. Opposites.

..What had happened?

Sam watched Quil, then looked at me,"You two were touching earlier today. She could suspect."

"But what?"I replied,"That I had a fever maybe? I had to bring her to Naomi's."

Sam frowned a little,"I've spoken to Naomi about it already, we won't say anything unless she starts showing signs. She doesn't have to know if she isn't one of us. Which means, I'll need you all to be careful."

Murmurs rippled across the table.

"Alright,"Sam said, standing up," Let's start watch then, same area as yesterday."

The sound of chairs moving filled the room, I stood up and stretched as everyone made their way outside into the cool night air. Sam paused to kiss Emily good-bye, and I envied them.

"You know,"Quil started as we walked along in the woods west of La Push, we had left the path a few minutes ago, and were now trying to find appropriate cover to change and then head off in the direction we had left off yesterday,"You could have been a little less edgy yourself, Jake. What was with that whole race thing anyways? I mean, no offense, but out of the group, you seem a little more less likely to act all macho."

The woods were just getting dark now, if it was possible to see over the lush canopy, I'm sure the sky would be a darkening indigo by now, with just a few stars coming into existence. I hadn't really been listening to Quil at first, more preoccupied with thoughts of my own. But as he brought this subject up I looked at him curiously, raising an eyebrow.

"Gee, _thanks._ And you saw how she was acting in the garage, Ice Queen on a rampage. I didn't even _do_ anything. ..I just thought that a little challenge would put her back in her place,"I answered logically, whether that had worked or not I wasn't quite sure yet.

Quil snorted, now it was his turn to look curious,"Her _place_? ..She sprained her _wrist_, Jake. And I do understand where you're coming from, but do think that was the best way to handle it? I mean, it isn't like you don't know Taj, you could have just asked her."

Okay, this was weird, Quil being all mature. Well, Taj _was_ his cousin- they were closer than that, I knew. Alright, well maybe I had been a little less than kind. But I had my reasons, other than her obvious _rude_ nature I mean..

"Quil,"I said, as we came to a spot filled with brush and where the trees were especially dense,"What _did_ happen to Taj?"

A memory flashed in front of my eyes, Taj's face on one sunny afternoon a few years ago, a smile lighting up her features as she laughed at a joke someone had told, her blue eyes glimmering as the sunlight gleamed on her blonde hair, casting an almost golden sheen. Before everything had happened, before I had met Bella, or known about this whole werewolf thing. When things had been simpler.

Quil was quiet for a few moments, though not morose, he seemed to be making a decision,"Maybe if you got on better terms with her, she would tell you."

I frowned a little, displeased with his reply, but I understood. I still wanted to know though. I thought about how cold Taj had been, and I felt..sorry for her, what would make her turn out this way? I almost wanted to take that cold air away from her, make her smile again, like she used to. Taj had been so..innocent as a kid, and I didn't want that taken away from her. The way it had been taken away from Bella..and from me. Maybe I didn't have the right to that innocence anymore, and I didn't have the choice to change it..but maybe I could change it with Taj.

"That might actually happen, if she doesn't freeze me to death first,"I said, remembering my conversation with Billy earlier, or lecture, now that I thought about it,"Billy said I had been too reckless, and..rude. So he wants me to try to make it up to her."

Quil snorted a little, shaking his head,"_That_ should be interesting."

"Yeah,"I said sarcastically,"I can't wait."But part of me actually couldn't, I was curious to know what had happened, and I _did_ want to try to help her. Somehow. That's just how much of a good guy I was.

Quil frowned, looking at something intently on the ground. He kneeled, tracing his finger in the dirt.

I walked over to him, kneeling as well,"What is it?"

But he didn't have to answer, I could easily see footprints in the mud, I looked over the size of the print. Most likely male. The two of us sat in silence for a moment, thinking.

"These tracks aren't that bad, they probably came through a few hours ago,"I said, touching the soil, it was damp, and the print was full, almost perfect.

"It could have been a hiker,"Quil said, looking at me.

I shook my head a little,"The imprint doesn't look like a hiking boot, but it could have just been someone walking through. Still, we should let Sam know." He would be pleased with some progress.

Quil nodded and I stood, following the prints a few paces. They were heading east, I looked straight ahead at the hundreds of trees, one just as similar as the other. It was in the direction of the boundary line.


	5. Chapter 5: Only Moment

5. Only Moment

"Mel and Kyle, go inside please, I'd like to have a word with Taj,"My Mother said, her cool gaze fixed on me. We had just driven home from Naomi's and were all standing out on the porch, dusk had settled, chasing the last few rays of gold and cotton candy pink from the sky, replacing it with deep indigo and brilliant stars, crickets chirped calmly. August was fading fast, there was already a slight chill to the air. The ambience was less than calm though, tensions radiating off my Mom like a disease. It was better outside though, with some space between us, the drive home had been unbearable, awkwardly quiet, with my Mom driving in angry silence and yours truly stuck in the passenger seat. Though the drive was only ten minutes, it had felt like half an hour. You see, my Mom was scary when she was angry, and usually she was lenient when it came to strenuous matters.

Mel gave me a pitying glance as she slipped inside the house and closed the door gently behind her. Yeah, I hoped I'd live too. Another uncomfortable silence settled between the two of us, I distracted myself with looking over my splint, stealing a glance at my Mom, she was looking to the sunset, thinking of how to start. It was kind of funny, no matter how old you are, when you got a lecture from your parents, you suddenly felt like you were five again, being reprimanded for sneaking into the cookie jar or crossing the street without asking.

Her arms were folded and she bit her lower lip, and now she didn't seem quite as angry, more like upset, and that only made me feel worse. She took a deep breath before beginning.

"Taj..there was no excuse for your behavior today,"She said slowly, finally taking me in, her voice was calm, but firm. She looked at my splint,"You could have been seriously hurt."

I took the lecture patiently, silently waiting for her to make her point.

"I mean, I could expect something like this of you before but.."She shook her head and gestured to my wrist,"You _know_ better by now."

"I'm depending on you to make responsible decisions, Taj. You're not a little kid anymore, and you have your brother to look out for. Look at what kind of example you're setting for him. I have to be able to trust you, but if you keep doing these things.."She trailed off again, sighing.

"I should have been more specific,"She said almost to herself, looking tired. I felt my stomach drop like ice, I didn't want her to blame herself.

I quickly interjected,"No, Mom, you're right, I should have known better. I just, well, Jake and Paul were making comments, and I let it get to me,"I said, pausing, I turned my gaze to her,"But that shouldn't be an excuse. I do know better, I just..made a mistake. My temper gets me into trouble sometimes..But I want you to be able to trust me. I'm sorry."

I meant it to, from the bottom of my very being. I of all people should have known better right now, and things were tough on my Mom too, the last thing she needed was to be worrying about me when she went out.

My Mom looked at me and smiled a little, moving my bangs away from my eyes, a gesture she had done ever since I was little, her expression became strained though as she spoke,"Taj.. If anything ever happened to you, or your brother, I would..I wouldn't be able to handle it. I mean..that morning.."She shook her head slowly, at a loss for words,"..Don't put me through that again."

Her face had become grave, her eyes pleading, exhorting.

"I won't, I promise,"I told her, and I gently took her hand. There were tears in her eyes as she looked at me, and she let go of my hand to wipe them away. I paused awkwardly for a moment, wanting to cheer her up, but not knowing how. It was always awkward when your parents started crying, the people you thought were the strongest, were just as human as you were. The tables had turned, and you weren't sure what to do.

"You _should_ be grounded,"My Mom continued, taking a steadying breath,"But I'll delay your punishment until Mel leaves. But on Monday you'll have to help me at the store, and you're on painting duty until I think you've learned your lesson."

I frowned a little, not at the punishment, I deserved it. I deserved worse than that, but she had let me off easy. Most kids I'm sure would be silently cheering, but this only made me feel worse.

"I won't do it again,"I told her,"I'll ask you before running off to do something from now on."

"Okay,"She nodded slowly, walking up the porch steps,"Don't make me regret my decision, Taj."

"I won't,"I told her quickly, watching her as she opened the door, there were still tears in her eyes, but I knew that soon they would be gone.

"Are you coming inside?"She asked, pausing.

I leaned against the post,"..I'm going to stay out here for a bit."

She hesitated, but nodded,"Okay, I'll let you know when dinner's ready."She hesitated a moment longer, but then walked into the house, closing the door behind her; leaving me to the calm chirping of the crickets.

I let out a long breath I felt that I had been holding in for a while, slowly feeling some weight lift off of me,"Great going genius,"I muttered to myself under my breath.

I looked around for a few moments, feeling antsy, I couldn't just stand around. I turned away from the porch and walked to the side of the house, not really caring what direction I was going in when I suddenly stopped. But of course it was there.

It was parked on the side of the driveway, amongst the slightly browned grass of August, under a willow tree, it's branches almost reaching it's sleek black paint. If the porch lights hadn't been on, I never would have seen it, but the lights reflected off it's glossy paint job and the windshield. It was almost like it was waiting for me.

I opened my mouth slightly and then shut it suddenly, I crossed my arms, as if keeping myself closer together. I didn't keep walking though, instead I simply stood for a few moments, looking at it. Not admiring it, just looking, the way you might just look at a stranger.

"_You'll never guess what I got!"_

I frowned a little, pursing my lips as I walked closer and ran my fingers over the smooth hood, I could even see the outline of my reflection. There wasn't a single flaw, no chips, no runs. Beautiful. Just like I'd, like we'd imagined it.

_ He ran his hand over the rusted and dented fender slowly, almost as if caressing it. He then turned to me a grin on his face, his eyes bright,"It's perfect, Taj!"_

"_When we're done with it will be,"I said, walking over to him and the rusting Charger, it was like a sacred relic. The hood was gone, showing a mess of rusted tubes and wires, some duct taped together, and there was a huge crack spider webbing across the windshield. We also needed a door and a bumper, not to mention other necessities. But the interior was still intact, the rest was just sanding and some paint._

"_When we're done Grease Lightning will it eat it's engine out,"I smiled at my corny comparison,"I only got it for a hundred bucks, too."_

_He shook his head, walking now, looking over the car,"They don't know what they gave up."_

"_Oh well,"I said, watching him,"Our gain, right?"_

"_You bet,"He grinned, giving me a high-five._

I didn't even notice my breathing was unsteady, my hands were shaking too. I pressed my hand against the side window to stop it.I breathed in slowly, trying to calm myself, but it wasn't working very well. He had been so happy that day.As happy as me. I remembered being so excited to tell him, eager to see how happy he'd be. He'd reacted just as I'd imagined.

We didn't even get to drive it together.

I felt something race down my cheek and I wiped the tear away roughly. I was alone, so it didn't matter if I cried. I didn't like to cry in front of people, I felt too vulnerable, naked almost. But I just didn't want to break down right now. I didn't want to be upset, I didn't want to think about him or this stupid car. I raised my fist, clenched so tightly my knuckles where white and my nails were digging into my palm, ready to come crashing down on the roof of the car; but I stopped myself. I unclenched my fist and lowered my arm to my side again, sighing slowly.

It wouldn't make me feel better.

It was then that I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders and a hand settle on my right shoulder. I hadn't even heard Mel come outside. She rested her head against my other shoulder, just looking at the car with me in silence for a few moments.

"I miss him too,"She said after a while.

"Yeah,"I said slowly, clearing my throat and finding my voice again,"..My Dad must have moved the cars earlier."

There was another pause, but it wasn't an awkward one. Mel was the only person I could be myself around, emotional or calm, and feel completely comfortable. She understood. And for that, for this, I was grateful.

"It's okay,"She said gently, rubbing my arm.

"I'm going to miss you,"I said, not wanting her to leave.

"I'll miss you too, Taj,"She said, meaning it,"But I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks,"I said, looking over at her.

Her eyes were morose, her expression solemn, but slowly a smile formed on her lips,"Hey, what are friends for?"

I laughed a little, smiling as well.

She smiled a little more too, stepping away from me,"Dinner's ready, if you're hungry."

I shook my head,"No thanks, how about we take a walk?" I knew it was getting late, but I needed to clear my head before going in for the night, and a walk was the perfect remedy.

And, being the perfect friend, Mel nodded,"Sure."

I swear I didn't know what I was going to do when she left. The two of us then turned away from the Charger and started down the road, illuminated by the occasional street lamp, casting a soft glow of light on the road.

"Well, it's good to see that you're alive,"Mel said to me.

"Yeah,"I said, glad for conversation,"She let me off pretty easy, just painting duty and helping at the store."

"Ah,"She said, nodding, she glanced at my wrist,"Was it worth it?"

"No,"I said dully,"Not only did I get grounded, but I also managed to look like an idiot in front of everyone. All because of some dumb fox. And I upset her, it wasn't a normal lecture, it was one of those 'I'm disappointed in you' speeches. But I understand why, I was pretty stupid."

"Well it's good to know you see the error of your ways,"She told me, raising her eyebrows a little.

"Yeah I'm not doing _that_ again, sprained wrists aren't fun,"I said, raising my arm a little,"I really didn't mean to upset her like that though, I should have known better. Now especially."

Mel nodded, listening,"She's just worried about you Taj, she doesn't think you're a bad kid."

"I know,"I sighed, kicking a rock. It clattered down the street and fell still.

"I _still _believe my theory,"Mel said, looking at me from the corner of her eye.

I snorted,"I'll eat my shoes before your 'theory' is correct, he probably thinks I'm a jerk anyways. You and Quil seem pretty friendly,"I pointed out.

"Well he _is_ cute,"Mel smiled mischievously,"Nice personality too, but don't try to turn the conversation around. You could try apologizing to him you know, it won't kill you."

I laughed dryly,"You never know,"I continued,"I'd be surprised if he even wanted to speak to me again. We _used_ to be good friends."

"You never know,"Mel countered, looking at me.

"True,"I admitted. Well, she did have a point.

"Good, then you'll talk to him,"Mel finished.

I paused for a step,"Hey, I never said _that_."

"No, I did."

I sighed and rolled my eyes deliberately. She could be so pushy sometimes. I highly doubted Jake would talk to me again after today. He had proved his point, so that was all. So much for making friends.

"Yeah, okay,"I said, thinking about the comments we'd exchanged earlier.

"Don't be so pessimistic,"Mel said, elbowing me.

"Ouch! Don't be so violent!"

"Hold on a second,"Mel said, she had stopped, turning her head to the left, toward some woods alongside the road, she glanced at me,"Did you hear that?"

I quirked an eyebrow, stepping towards her, I didn't hear anything. I looked at her suspiciously, thinking she was up to one of her tricks,"Very funny Mel."I began to turn away.

"No, I'm serious,"She said, frowning a little,"Listen."

I stood for a for a few moments, straining to hear anything other than the soft chirp of crickets or the occasional whisper of leaves. I heard a soft rustle from the brush somewhere in the dark woods.

I shrugged a little, trying to calm her down,"Probably a squirrel or something. Or maybe it's that fox."

"Hmm,"Mel said, not convinced, or smiling at my joke,"Let's go back, it's late."

She turned and then began to walk away, I paused a moment longer, looking at the tall trees and the shadow beyond. Nothing out of the ordinary. I followed Mel back home.

I woke up late the next morning, not sure of where I was at first. Sunlight danced on the white walls and posters Mel and I had hung up the day before. Yesterday's events came rushing back to me. I looked at my wrist and frowned, the pain had gone down, only jabbing when I bent it. But unless you've had to wear a sprain before, you had no idea how annoying it was to fall sleep with it on. I pushed the covers away and sat up, Mel was nowhere to be found. I looked over at the digital clock, it was already nine thirty. Jeez. It was Mel's last day and I was spending it sleeping in, some friend I was.

I got up quickly, changing into some shorts and a blue Fox racing t-shirt, running a brush through my hair as I went downstairs. The house was quiet as well, something I definitely wasn't used to. I found Mel sitting in the kitchen though, eating a bowl of cereal while looking over her college handbook.

"Thanks for letting me sleep in. Nervous?"I asked, grabbing some coffee.

" No problem, I figured you needed some rest,"Mel said, looking over at me,"Just making sure I have everything down. Your Mom left us the keys so we could go out today, she said she'd be back at three for when my mom comes to get me. So just pick what you want to do."

I shrugged, thinking,"Does Forks have a mall?"

"Nope,"Mel said, having another spoonful of cereal,"There's one in the next town over though that we could check out."

"Sounds good to me,"I said, taking a sip of the warm coffee.

"Do _I_ have to go?" Kyle walked into the kitchen, glancing up momentarily from his Game-boy.

"Considering I'm watching you, yeah,"I answered calmly, looking at him.

He groaned, turning off his game,"No offense, but I'd rather paint the house twice by myself than be stuck in the mall with you guys."

"That could be arranged,"I said calmly,"Come on, we'll only be a couple of hours, and then you can come home and do whatever."

"I don't _want_ to go though,"Kyle complained,"It's not like I'm two, I'll be able to survive a couple of hours without you watching me."

I frowned,"I don't like the sound of that." I could only imagine what Kyle would do in the house by himself. I'd get much worse than painting duty, that was for sure.

"He is twelve Taj, and we'll only be gone a couple of hours, he could call us if something goes wrong,"Mel said,"And your Mom didn't say that we had to bring him."

I scrutinized Kyle,"It's my trust of him that's doubtful."

"I won't do anything,"Kyle said, giving me an innocent expression," The house will be in the exact same condition I left it."

I was quiet, weighing the consequences. If we did go without him, we wouldn't have to worry about dragging him along, and we wouldn't have to listen to him complain. Plus, this was my last day with Mel.

"Well.."I said slowly,"Okay, BUT if you mess this up, you _will_ regret it."

"Yes!"Kyle said, smiling.

"First off, no dirt bike, or any type of power tool for that matter, and you're not allowed to use the oven. And don't answer the door for strangers,"I told him, going over a mental checklist,"If something goes wrong, call me."

"Whatever you say, as long as I'm not stuck shoe shopping with you,"Kyle replied.

I smiled, he was a twerp, but he was my twerp. I just hoped I made the right choice, for both our sakes.

Mel and I left a half hour later, the mall crowded with the usual Sunday morning shoppers. At first Mel and I were a little lost, not knowing where anything was, but we soon found the directory and started off in the right direction. Mel saw some skirts and dresses hanging up in the Juniors section, right near the shoes and I was immediately dragged over to the side. Once Mel spotted skirts, you were guaranteed at least another hour in the mall. Let the torture begin.

"..I don't know, what do you think, Taj?"Mel asked from a semi-circle of mirrors, she was wearing a black top and a white skirt with a black flower print on it that fell a little above her knees with a pair of heeled sandals. The fourth one she had tried on by now. I looked away from a pair of jeans I'd been looking at and observed her for a moment. She looked great in it, like everything else she wore. Mel could always look good and pull off sophisticated at the same time.

"Mel,"I said calmly,"You look great, I don't even know why you ask my opinion."

Mel pouted slightly,"Well, I need _some_ feedback."

She was quiet for a moment, looking at me, I could see the gears turning in her head, and I was quick to stamp the idea out of her mind.

"Nope, it's not happening,"I said, turning to face her.

"Aw, Taj why not?"Mel frowned,"Well, at least try it on, I already have an outfit picked out! And you never know, a new school means an opportunity to start off fresh, you could create a new style."

"Yeah, I don't think so,"I said with an amused smile as I walked over to her,"Not all of us can pull off your look. And it's slightly difficult to change car parts in a skirt."

"I thought you were giving up on Neil,"Mel said curiously,"And you could always change when you get home. Come on, please?"

She was giving me her best pouting routine, picking up a couple of hangers from a rack she had put them on, holding them out to me. Yeah, me wearing a skirt to school, that would be the day. I didn't see the point in going through with this, but I wanted the subject off of my car, and I wanted to pacify Mel, so I grabbed the clothes and walked towards a dressing room,"Fine."

"Yes!"Mel sounded as ecstatic as a five year old on Christmas,"But you _have_ to come out and let me see."She said.

"Okay, okay,"I replied, closing one of the dressing room doors behind me to change.

I had never been extremely fashionable, I went for more of a casual look, which consisted of whatever pair of jeans and t-shirt I could find. Enough to match, add some eye-liner and mascara, and I was good to go for the day. But for as long as I'd known Mel, she was still bent on the idea of me changing my style, this consisted in the form of make-overs and at least every time we went to the mall together. I didn't mind it so much, it was interesting to see how I looked in some of the outfits, scary in others. Plus, it made Mel happy. It was funny how much we differed in style though, almost opposites. Well, I guess that was where the whole 'opposites attract' theme came into play. I thought briefly of when Mel had brought up the car though, and I had also wanted to distract her from that subject. Because, honestly, I wasn't sure whether I was going to finish it or not. After that morning, I hadn't touched the car for a couple of months, let alone go into the garage. But now..well I wasn't sure. It would be a shame to let it go to waste, but who would help me with it? My dad, I could tell, didn't want anything to do with fixing up the car because it reminded him too much of..well, I was on my own. And the work would at least take two people.

Finally I was finished changing, I sighed and looked at myself in the hanging mirror. I was wearing a ribbed white long-sleeve, but the sleeves were cut on an angle, causing them to hang loose. And for the bottom I was wearing a mini-skirt of all things! Jeez. It was black and sort of scrunched, made of the same stretchy material as the shirt, not tight; quite comfortable actually. ..And, I didn't look that horrible. The clothes fit nicely to my frame.

"Are you done yet?"Mel called impatiently.

I sighed,"Coming!"I said and left the dressing room.

"Taj you look awesome!"Mel said after looking at me for a minute,"Just like I'd thought."

She turned me to face the semi-circle of mirrors, letting me get a look at myself from five different angles.

"Thanks,"I said, but decided to bring reality back into play,"But where would I wear this? I don't think there are any clubs in Forks either."

Mel refused to have her bubble burst,"You could wear it on a date. Come on, it won't be long before a guy asks you out. Or you could wear it to a party."

"I don't know.."I said slowly, high doubting any of her suggestions would come into play.

"I think it looks beautiful on you,"A soft voice added from behind us.

Mel and I turned around to face the person speaking to us, startling us a little. There hadn't been anyone else in the Juniors department, and we hadn't even heard anyone shuffling amongst the clothing racks. I was breathless for a moment though as I took in the older teen speaking to us. She looked only eighteen or nineteen, and she put the teen models hanging on the advertising banners to shame. She was of average height, her form slender and her skin pale, almost translucent, a pair of large and glistening brown eyes stared back at me, long lashes accentuating her features, only making her more perfect. Her hair fell in lush waves to her shoulders, her lips were full and lush, but not too big, not pouting; enough to hold an indifferent, calm expression, but her eyes told her expression for her. She was someone I was sure had boys falling for her, begging for just a minute of her time. I was almost awestruck, nearly forgetting her compliment.

"Oh, um, thank you,"I stammered, flattered to receive a compliment from her.

She had been standing calmly with her arms folded, she stepped closer to us, her movements as graceful as a Queen, her eyes never left my face, and I felt self-conscious.

"Have we met before? You seem oddly familiar, she inquired calmly, her perfect eyebrows furrowing as she thought.

I frowned a little to myself, thinking. I would have been able to easily place her if I'd met her before, she didn't seem like someone that was easy to forget, but I didn't want to seem rude,"Uhm, I'm not sure..I'm Antonia Williams -Taj."

Realization seemed to dawn over her features, making her only more beautiful,"That's how I know you, you're a friend of Jacob's, aren't you? I'm Bella Swan, a good friend of his."

"Oh,"I said slowly, perplexed,"Um, yes I am."

It was an offhand greeting, but my thoughts were occupied, even a little shocked. When had Jacob brought _me _into conversation, and why? And I was being referred to as a_ friend_ of his? Weird.

"How has he been?"Bella asked almost eagerly,"I haven't spoken to him in a while."

Oh, so _that _was what this was about. This girl didn't want to talk to me, she just wanted information on Jacob. Maybe she was his ex-girlfriend or something? Ha, and she wanted to know how he was doing. I thought of a couple of answers to this, but decided to be polite.

"He's been..fine,"I answered awkwardly. I felt a little insufficient at giving a good answer, but I didn't know Jake that well, and I didn't plan on doing so in the future.

The conversation took an even more awkward pause and Bella nodded, seeming pre-occupied with her own thoughts.

"Well, thank you for your time. I really should be going,"She said, looking at a wristwatch she was wearing,"But it was nice to speak with you."

"Yeah, same here,"I said, still dazed, but before I could question her she had turned on her lithely feet and walked away, disappearing amongst the clothing racks.

"Okayy.."Mel said after a few moments, as confused as I was.

"How does Jacob know _her_?"I asked, turning to look at Mel. Well, I didn't mean to sound rude, but Bella put Angelina Jolie to shame for crying out loud! How did Jacob end up with someone like her?

Melissa flashed me a look of amusement,"Jealous, are we?"

I scowled at her,"Be serious, Mel."

She nodded thoughtfully,"You do have a point,"She picked up a few hangers, clothes she had picked out,"Well, maybe she's into the muscular type."

I snorted and rolled my eyes,"Yeah, I'm sure his guns overshadow his annoying, egotistical nature."

"You know, you could _try_ to act like you don't despise him,"Mel commented," Are you going to buy that?"

I looked over myself in the mirror once again, picking up the conversation where we had left off, I shook my head,"No."

It would be a waste for me to buy this outfit, it would only gather dust in my drawers. Mel looked mildly disappointed but made no comment as I made my way back to the dressing room to change into normal clothes, my thoughts still on Bella Swan.

"Kyle!"I called into the seemingly empty house as Mel and I entered the front door,"We're home!"

My voice felt empty in the large house, making the space seem only more obvious. There was no sign of the twerp though, I walked through the living room and into the kitchen, no signs of disarray. The house was just as we had left it. I placed my shopping bag on the kitchen table, looking around the kitchen curiously before I froze.

"Maybe he's upstairs,"Mel suggested helpfully, before she stopped as well.

The backdoor was wide open.

I frowned and stepped outside, looking around, there was no sign of Kyle. Before Mel could say anything I was inside and walking quickly past her, jogging upstairs and barging into Kyle's room, hoping he was in there to tell me how rude it was not to knock first. My senses were suddenly alert, but I tried to calm them, he could have just left the backdoor open. He was probably watching t.v. or playing guitar in his room, completely at ease.

But it was empty, the windows were open, letting in a cool breeze, he wasn't done unpacking yet, posters and remnants of his moving bag scattered on the floor. I quickly turned away and took the stairs two at a time, Mel was waiting, looking at me, a slightly anxious expression on her face.

"He's not up there,"I answered, walking past her, my steps quick and certain. She followed me as we went outside again.

"I'm sure he's okay Taj,"She said as we stopped In the front yard.

"Kyle!"I yelled, looking around, listening for any reply, which I did not receive,"Good, because he's in _so_ much trouble."I said coolly.

I thought of the million things that could have happened, and I was worried about him. But even more than that, I was angry, no- _furious_. He had disobeyed my trust the first time I had given him full reign of it, and if, I didn't want to think about it, something had happened, whoever had caused it was going to have to answer to me. Yeah, I had basically gone into the whole protective older sister mode.

Mel and I spent ten minutes calling for Kyle and looking around, but to no avail. I fished my keys out of my pocket, becoming more worried by the minute. Where could he have _gone_? Well, there was one place, but if he wasn't there, then I was out of answers. My Mom would kill me if something had gone wrong on only my first day of probation.

"He could be with Quil,"Mel said, the idea coming to her too.

I nodded,"Come on, we have to go find them."

Without another word we got into the car, the engine rumbling to life, and I pulled smoothly, but maybe a little too quickly out of the drive, heading down the road at a faster speed than usual. For once, my speeding needed to come into play, and I didn't ease up as we headed to the reservation, going down the small roads, looking for a sign of Kyle or Quil. I would check at Naomi's house last, not quite wanting to upset her. I sighed, trying to calm my frustration. We started around the reservation a second time when Mel suddenly touched my shoulder.

"Look, over there!"

I pulled on the brake and we bounced back against our seats uncomfortably. Of course, there was the infamous group, standing outside a small, faded red house. I could see Paul, Jake, Quil..and to my relief, Kyle.

That relief died quickly though as they looked at the car and Kyle's expression became nervous. I cut the engine and got out of the car, glaring at my little brother.

"Where were you?"I growled, standing over him.

"Quil came over and we decided to meet up with Paul and Jacob,"Kyle explained, looking a little frightened.

"Without _calling_ me first?"I asked my voice dangerous,"You left the back door open Kyle, we had no idea what happened! For all we knew, someone could have walked in and kid-napped you!"

I didn't care if I was freaking out, I had been scared, worried. He needed to understand. The group had become silent, the air becoming uncomfortable once again.

Kyle shifted uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck while avoiding my gaze, something he did when he was nervous, or when he knew he was in trouble,"Well..I.."

"Give him a break, Taj,"A cool voice added to our conversation,"Take a chill pill."

I turned in the direction of the voice, ready to lash out. Of course, it was Paul, there was that same aloof expression on his face, that challenging glint in his eyes.

"I suggest that you stay out of our conversation, considering you're not involved,"I said icily.

I didn't say anything more, turning away from him to face Kyle again,"I trusted you, Kyle, and you abused that-"

"Why don't you go protect your car, Williams?"

I stopped dead, shocked, like I'd been slapped with cold water, but shock turned to outrage. My fists clenched unintentionally as I turned my head to look at Paul,"_What_ did you just say to me?"

What nerve did he have to go and say something like that? Had they been talking about me behind my back? They had absolutely no right to be that way to me, they didn't even _understand_.

"Did I stutter?"Paul mocked me, stepping closer to me,"Shouldn't you be watching over your little car? Making sure nobody _scratches_ the paint."

My eyes narrowed as I stepped closer, my face inches from his,"Are you _implying_ something, Paul?"

It was taking all of my self control not to punch him. His eyes were bright, but hiding a similar danger like my own. He didn't even know what all of this meant, he didn't know what type of pain this subject caused me, and he was using it as a tool to distract me.

"With the way your first is clenched it seems like you are, do you want to punch me, Taj? Go ahead, see what happens,"

And I wanted to, I almost did, too, being every bit as stubborn as I was, I didn't care that he was two heads taller than me, I ignored the sloping muscles on his arms. Without even thinking I began to raise my arm, but Quil pulled me back and Jacob stepped between us.

"Lay off, Paul,"Jake said, his back facing me, and I'll admit it, I was surprised,"You're not even involved, so mind your own business."

I wasn't the only one, Paul looked a little taken aback at first, but he quickly replaced his expression, scowling at Jake now.

"I can't help it if she needs to calm down a little,"Paul gave the last word, looking over Jacob at me.

Quil had let go of me, thinking I was calm now. I wasn't putting up with this anymore though, I looked at Kyle,"Come on, twerp, we're going home."

He didn't object, and the three of us got into the car without another word to the Quileute boys. Leaving Jake and Paul to their heated discussion took off from the curb quickly, taking the whole ride in silence. It wasn't so much awkward though, with Kyle sitting in the back, probably worrying about his pending punishment. I was too pre-occupied with thoughts of my own. We got home, thankfully, before my Mom and Dad had. No one brought up what had happened, not Paul or Jake, or Bella Swan, for that matter. Good, I didn't feel much like talking right now. I was still reeling from what Paul had said.

"Are you going to tell Mom?"Kyle asked me nervously as he got out of the car.

"No,"I sighed, feeling a little defeated,"Just don't do it again Kyle. ..You understand why I acted the way I did, right? I was just worried about you."

He was quiet for a minute, seeming almost solemn, an expression I didn't want to associate with my upbeat, hyper-active brother. Finally, he nodded,"Yeah, I understand why, I'm sorry."

"Just call me next time,"I told him calmly. He nodded again, and wordlessly, he jogged up to the house, probably off to play video games.

I sighed a little and leaned against the car, rubbing my eyes; tired from the long day. The sky was a darkening gray, and it would probably start raining soon. Perfect.

"I'm sorry,"I apologized to Mel, who had started to the house.

She stopped as I said this, turning to me curiously,"For what?"

"Well, I'm sure this wasn't the weekend you'd planned,"I shrugged, not quite finding the right words.

Mel laughed a little,"To be honest, I didn't really have anything planned. You don't have to be sorry Taj, I'd say this weekend was pretty interesting."

I shook my head a little, smiling, but feeling a little bummed as well. Mel was so predictable, the only person in the world that I could see eye to eye with. And in a couple of hours, she was leaving, and nothing would be the same. I guess I'd actually be forced to make new friends, or be isolated, until school started. I thought of all the good times I'd spent with Mel though, the late nights, the afternoons at school, the stupid things we'd done, and I didn't want to ruin the moment. I wanted to remember us just like this, hanging out in the front yard and discussing whatever we pleased as the world raced by around us.


	6. Chapter 6: Vindicated

6. Vindicated

"That'll be..five-ninety-nine," I said as I read the price from the register, bagging the customer's items as they fished out their wallet. They payed me and took the bag, telling me not to worry about the change. Wow, a penny, I could feel myself getting richer already. I looked around the brightly lit convenience store, looking at a clock that hung over by the freezers. Two in the afternoon, only a couple more hours to go until I was free..to go start painting duty. I had gotten here at ten this morning, my Mom showing me how to work the register and what the key codes were. It really wasn't that bad of a job, and my punishment wasn't that harsh either, it was just the fact that Mel was gone was making me miserable, and it seemed like the day was dragging.

She had only left yesterday afternoon and I already missed her. My Mom threw a late lunch to see her off, keeping the event indoors because it had started raining, but by the time we knew it, her mom had pulled up in the drive and she was gone, promising to e-mail me.

The weather seemed to empathize and it was still rainy outside, showers continuing throughout the day, it felt mildly comforting to know the world was sulking with me. Yeah, I was a loser, okay? I was sulking.

It didn't help that the store was dead slow, considering the weather, and dead silent as well. I made a mental note to bring in a radio, and I was so bored that I had cleaned the counter five times by now, leaving the surface sparkling, and I had rearranged the small container of paper clips by size and color.

I had OCD, so sue me.

And because of the lack of distraction, I was left to my thoughts-which was even worse. I had hardly slept at all last night, not being able to fall asleep until two in the morning, and then I, just to my predictions, had had a pleasant nightmare to wake me up at six. So I had decided to just stay up, not being able to fall asleep again, or even wanting to, for that matter.

The dream had started with me deserted in the middle of the lush green woods of Forks. It was absolutely empty, no birds, no wildlife, just me and the millions of trees, one direction just as sure as the next. But I wasn't lost. I was looking for something, I was trying to prevent something I know would happen. I heard soft laughter, voices from what seemed like years away.

I took off running.

I raced amongst the low foliage, branches whipping by as my one shoe dug deep into the damp soil after the other. And still it wasn't fast enough. The laughter seemed to sharpen, unfriendly, the high-pitched laughter of some drunk teen, finding something too funny. I needed to reach the road. That was my only thought as I ran through the eerie trees.

And suddenly, I did, coming to a halt on the side of the tree. It was a long, winding two-lane high-way, deserted. Not a road you'd want to be stuck on at night. A sudden snarl caught my attention and I turned around, facing the black Charger. It's engine growled more aggressively, like an angry dog. It lurched forward, tugging at it's chain. I didn't want to look and see who was driving. The voices grew louder, as if they were jumping the years, coming into existence, reaching a crescendo, and then the car sprung forward. It's tires squealed against the pavement, peeling out as it raced towards me. But I couldn't smell the smoke or burnt rubber, I couldn't feel the heat from the engine as the car came to hit me. Because it was just a dream. It was a comforting thought when you woke up from a nightmare, to know that it hadn't really happened, there was no chance of it. You were just in your warm bed, safe at your house. There were no monster under your bed, no shadowed demons waiting for you.

But my dream _had_ happened, to a certain extent. So there was nothing to assuage me, other than to simply put it out of my mind, and distract myself. The nightmare wasn't an unfamiliar one, so that's how I delt with it best; by ignoring it. I know it had been because of what Paul had said yesterday, so I could send him a pleasant thank you card for my lovely night. I had been thinking about yesterday to, how stubborn I had been to try to go up against Paul, and there was only one thing I would have changed. And that was that I would have punched him, right in the jaw, so he would know not to say things like that again. Oh well, I was sure there would be future opportunities to repay him.

Something that perplexed me though was why Jake had suddenly come to the rescue and stood up for me. I mean, it wasn't like we were on good terms right now. I had tried to look for answers to his behavior and came up with that he simply didn't want to listen to us bicker anymore. Or maybe he did really think Paul wasn't being fair. Maybe Jacob Black deserved more credit than I gave him.

Hey, miracles still happen.

"Taj, this is Leah,"My Mom had walked over with another girl who looked like she was in her early twenties,"She helps out around here as well."

"Good,"I said with a nod,"The isolation was killing me,"My voice was light,"It's nice to meet you Leah."

She smiled a little at my joke, her brown eyes kind,"It's nice to meet you too."

"Play nice, or I'll put you on mopping duty,"My Mom told me before walking away.

"Love you too, Mom,"I called after her sweetly, joking a little. Leah walked behind the counter and put on her vest.

I decided to strike up a conversation,"So, is it always this dead?"

"It picks up again around six,"Leah replied, signing into her register,"But otherwise it's just morning rush hour that comes through here."

"Awesome,"I said sarcastically, confirming the hours would drag on.

Leah looked at me, smiling a little as she pointed at the paper clips,"Did you do this?"

I shrugged,"I have OCD. I don't know how you can stand how dead it is around here."

She smiled again,"Well it's not so bad when you're working with someone else."

I nodded, smiling a little at this comment,"Good point."

"You're Quil's cousin, right?"She asked, leaning against the counter.

I nodded,"Yep, just moved here from Seattle to help Naomi out with the store."

Leah shook her head a little,"I can't believe you two are related, you seem so much more..mature than him."

I laughed a little,"Quil does have his..moments. But he's one of my only relatives that I can relate to, as scary as that sounds."

Leah smiled again, the feature lighting up her face,"You know, he was right, you're not that bad."

"Thanks,"I said easily, but finding it a little odd that Quil talked about me,"I'm sure you won't get as nice opinions of me from the rest of the group though."

Okay, so I had used this statement to see if anyone else had said anything, but I was curious.

Leah took the bait,"Well, Paul is a hothead anyways, so don't worry about him. But Embry hasn't said anything against you, neither has Jake."

It was funny how easily I could talk to her after just meeting her. But Leah just seemed like a comfortable person to be around. I didn't over analyze it, I had just met her, after all. But it surprised me even more that Jake hadn't said anything against me. I mean, especially after Saturday. I thought he wouldn't want to have anything to do with me. Or maybe he just didn't have an input on the subject.

"You look surprised,"Leah commented, watching me, I had almost forgotten she was there for a minute.

"Oh,"I said, coming out of my reverie, trying to choose my words carefully,"Well, he just seems like.."

But I couldn't say anything more, because the door opened, and he was suddenly walking up to the counter. His hair and jacket were damp from the rain outside, his sneakers squeaking on the floor as he walked. His expression was the same, calm, collected; business like.

He grabbed himself a cup of coffee, walking up to the counter, now he seemed a little unsettled. Maybe it was because I was there, because I felt a little awkward as well.

Leah was oblivious though, ringing up the coffee,"Hey Jake."

Well, speak of the devil.

"Hey,"He said offhandedly, putting his money on the counter, he glanced at me,"Hey, Taj."

"Hi, Jacob,"I said my voice sounding a little surprised, even to me.

But instead of asking what was new and then leaving, he looked at me and said something entirely different.

"Listen, so, um..my dad was talking with your mom about Saturday, and he thinks I should help you out with painting,"He said, still looking a little uncomfortable,"So, what time do you want me to come over?"

Okay, I had expected a lot of things, but not this. I could have been smug about him getting in trouble too, but I wasn't. I mean, it was just an accident after all, and I didn't really feel like being forced to spend time with Jacob. No offense. He looked at me expectantly and I quickly found my voice.

" Well, um, thanks Jake,"I said,"I get off at four, so you can come over at four thirty I guess, whatever to your convenience."

"Alright,"Jake nodded, seeming to calm a little now that he had said what he needed to say,"My dad'll be pleased, I'll be there at four-thirty."

"See ya then,"I said as he turned and walked away, saying bye to Leah and I.

I guess miracles still _do_ happen.

"As you were saying..?"Leah inquired, still seemingly oblivious.

"Um, just that he seems really quiet, I didn't think he really took to me,"I finished hastily.

Leah nodded,"Jake is a mysterious guy, he has a good heart though."

I stopped myself from snorting.

Thankfully, the rest of Leah and I's conversation steered away from Jacob, and she seemed pretty nice. My Mom dropped me off at home after work, and I grabbed the paint cans from the garage along with some brushes. My Dad had already started the tedious work, so there wasn't too much to do. I'll admit it, I was a little nervous about Jake coming over to help out, wondering what he would say. I pushed my worries away though and decided to start on the front of the house, laying a sheet down over the porch. I opened up the first can of paint when Jake pulled up in his car.

"Hey,"He said, walking up the porch.

"Hi,"I greeted, dipping a brush in the paint,"Well, just grab a brush and let's get to work."

He nodded and did just that, the two of us working in silence for a few moments. It was more awkward than I could bear, but the silence seemed not to bother him. There were so many questions I had.

"Yeah, I'm sorry you're being forced to do this,"I said after a little while, glancing at him. I meant it, for both of us.

He shrugged,"It's okay, better than my other option of punishment I guess."

His words stung slightly, but I ignored them, continuing my work.

"Well I guess that's what you get for racing,"I said, not meaning anything by it.

But he took it the wrong way,"Well, you _did_ suggest it."

I looked at him, wheeling on his reply,"I didn't suggest it."

His gaze met mine,"You implied it."

"You egged me on."

"I was just making a comment, I didn't _egg you on _to do anything."

The two of us stood in haughty silence for a moment, scowling at one another. It might have been funny to someone listening to us bicker like children, but considering I _had_ to work with him, I felt like it was going to be a _long_ afternoon.

"Well it _was_ insulting,"I mumbled, concentrating on my work. It was so annoying to paint with your left hand.

"Well I'm _sorry_,"He snapped, I could feel his eyes on me,"But you weren't so kind earlier that day yourself."

"I know,"I said slowly, and my tone wasn't angry anymore. I was getting tired of fighting with him, I mean we were friends when we were kids, why were we being jerks to each other now? Plus, we were being forced to work together, so we'd might as well try to make the best of it and get along. And I _had_ started it. I thought about wanting to apologize to him on Saturday and now was as good a time as any. I decided to make the 'mature' choice. Mom would have been proud.

I sighed, putting my paint brush down for a minute,"Yeah, I was a jerk on Friday, and I shouldn't have treated you that way, I mean, we were friends. So, I'm sorry. I was going to apologize on Saturday, but.."I gestured to my wrist,"Things got in the way I guess. So, considering we're stuck with each other, we could call a truce for the time being and make the best of the situation. If you don't want to be friends after, then fine, I understand."

That's the best I could come up with, I waited for his reply calmly.

He had been watching me as I spoke, his expression unreadable, and slowly he nodded,"Yeah, I'm sorry too. I was a real loser on Saturday, and you could have really hurt yourself. It's just, you really pissed me off, and I didn't understand what I even did. My reaction was immature though,"He admitted, dipping his brush in the paint,"And I still want to be friends."

He looked at me hesitantly, and I smiled a little,"It's okay, I would have reacted the same way, so don't feel bad. And as for the wrist, well other than painting with my left hand, no harm done. As for the car..it's hard to explain,"I finished, not wanting to get into it. I had gone through enough today, dragging up the past was the last thing I wanted to do,"Truce?"I asked.

"Truce,"Jake confirmed, a small smile coming onto his features, watching me. It was almost like the old Jacob I had known, and that made me feel better.

"..I have time,"He offered kindly to my other statement, bringing me away from my observation.

I shook my head,"It's okay, maybe another time,"I said submissively, changing the subject," And thanks for sticking up for me with Paul yesterday."

"I was doing it to protect Paul, you could have knocked him out,"He said with a bigger smile,"No problem, he can be a hothead sometimes, so I understand."

I laughed a little in spite of myself,"I don't know, he seems like a brick wall to me."

"Yeah, he has the intelligence of one too,"Jake commented, laughing a little to himself,"So you're working at the store with Leah?"

I nodded,"That was why we moved to Forks, to help Naomi out. It's not that bad of a job, Leah seems nice."

"Yeah, she's alright,"Jake said, nodding,"So Mel went back?"

"Yeah,"I said, my heart dropping a little at the subject choice, I frowned a little,"She left yesterday. I won't see her again for a few weeks."

"That's beat,"Jake said, looking at my expression,"Cheer up though, you've got us to hang out with, I know it might not be much, but we don't bite."

I paused for a moment in my painting, watching him as he worked around the shutters, both surprised and touched by his offer,"Thanks, Jacob. That means a lot to me. You sure Paul won't flip?"

"No problem,"Jake shrugged, he looked at me, a bright grin pulling at the corners of his lips,"He'll have to just get over it, for his sake."

I laughed a little, and just like that the day turned around. It was almost like magic how easily Jake and I talked to each other after that, like we had never gotten into a fight in the first place. And I was absolutely happy about it, after talking to him that afternoon, I realized how much I'd missed Jacob. He was so positive and upbeat, reckless, just like I had been; but I wondered why he tried to hide it with his calm expression.

We worked on the house for a couple of hours more before he took off for the night, saying he had to head back for dinner. I waved him off and then put everything away, heading inside.

My Mom was preparing dinner in the kitchen, looking at me curiously,"You look happy. Glad Jacob left?"

I grabbed a glass of water, leaning against the counter as I drank, looking at her curiously.

"How did you know we were fighting?"

She laughed a little,"Mother's intuition. I talked to Billy on the phone, he thought that making you two spend time together would allow you two to make up."

I frowned a little at her, darn parental psychology,"Well, it worked. So kudos for you and Billy."

"He's going to come back over tomorrow when I get off of work, we're nearly finished with the front of the house,"I continued, putting my glass in the sink.

My Mom nodded,"Your father is working on it too, so you'll probably just have the left side after that."

"..How's he been with work?"I asked after a couple of moments, waiting for her answer.

She paused for a moment, fixing the salad,"..Ted thinks he might just stick to office work from now on. He's trying, but,..well, it's hard on him Taj. "

"I know,"I said gently, afraid to hear the truth, my Dad belonged doing what he loved, working on cars, not doing paper-work. My Dad seemed like he could fix anything, leaky roofs, flickering lights, squeaky doors, and cars; something he loved to do. It was a perfect example of your work paying off. But now he would spend his work hours behind a desk. It made me sad to think of him spending the rest of his days doing that.

"Ted dropped off your parts earlier,"My Mom said, not looking at me.

I shrugged,"What am I going to do with them? I need someone else to work on the car with me."

"I'm sorry hun,"She said, looking at me, her gaze somber.

"It's okay,"I said, trying to make up for my disappointment,"I could just sell the parts, along with the 'stang, I could probably get a good five hundred dollars. Then I'll just save up for a car."

"There's an idea,"My Mom nodded, taking bowls out of the cupboard.

_Not the idea I was planning on_, I thought to myself as I helped her finish preparing dinner.

Talking to Leah at work the next day helped keep my mind off of the car, but her animated conversation couldn't keep my mind completely off it. I couldn't help but be depressed about it, I had put so much work into Neil, and now I wouldn't even be able to see it on the road. It was a bittersweet morning, I was looking forward to seeing Jake later, he would help keep my mind off the car as well. I hoped his exuberant personality would be enough. After he had left I felt a little bad at how I had thought about him, I had made him out to be..well, a monster. But he wasn't and I had known him better than that. We all had our faults, our less glorious moments, I knew that especially. I made a note to myself not to forget that. And, most of the time, arguments happened because of a lack of communication, it was stupid to fight simply because someone was stubborn. Because someone was unwilling to see.

When I got home later I went into the garage and looked through the shining new parts. A stalker bumper, fenders, fox head-lights. I had saved up all last year for these parts, and now I'd have to sell them again. I sighed and began to repackage them.

"Hey, what are you up to?"A cheery voice asked, I looked up to see Jake making his way into the garage, looking at the parts and cardboard boxes curiously. The awkward air that he had had yesterday when he came over was completely gone, as if it had never existed in the first place.

"Oh, nothing,"I said glumly as I taped a box shut,"Sending these parts back."

"Why?"Jake asked, frowning.

"Well, I needed my dad to help me work on the car, but he's been busy lately, and the work takes at least two people,"I explained, looking over the half-way finished car,"It'd be a shame to let it rust, so I'm going to sell it and save up for a different car. Interested?"

Jake looked over the mustang carefully for a few moments,"Yeah, when do we start?"

I paused awkwardly,"No, I mean, do you want to buy it?"

"Yeah, I know,"He answered,"And I mean, when do we start working on it? I wouldn't mind helping you, it could be fun actually. I restored my car, and considering your's is half-way done, it shouldn't be too much work. I'd like to see it on the road."

"Are you serious?"I asked, I didn't want to get my hopes up. This was the answer I was looking for, but I wasn't sure if Jake was true to his word, we had just made up after all. Plus, I wanted to make sure he knew what he was getting into.

"Did I stutter?"He said, his face darkened, a perfect impression of Paul. He couldn't keep it up though, his stormy expression breaking into a grin.

"Well, okay. Thanks. Great,"I said, ecstatic as I stood,"You have no idea how much you're helping me out with this."

"I'm doing this because I want to,"Jake told me calmly,"And because you're my friend."

I smiled a little, running my hand along the door,"Well, we need to put on the bumper, fenders, and recheck the motor. Then it's just the interior and the paint." I explained, going over a mental check-list.

"Awesome,"Jake said, looking over one of the fenders that I had left out, glinting in the light,"We'll start once we finish painting, this way you can drive it to school."

I smiled to myself as things once again began to work themselves out before my eyes, as easy as breathing.


	7. Chapter 7: Final Word

7.Final Word

"We've looked all over the backlands, our territory and across the borderline, and we still can't find him!"Paul snapped, irritated,"Where the hell _is_ this guy?"

"Calm yourself Paul,"I said, frowning a little at his behavior, once again. I knew how he felt though. Quil and I had told Sam about the footprints and we had spent the next few nights looking all over unmarked territory, but we _still_ couldn't find him. We had gotten as far as Forks itself..and then the guy's scent had just..disappeared; faded without a trace. It had never happened with the pack before, and everyone was convinced that we didn't have just any natural disappearance on our hands. This possibility was making everyone a little irritable, especially Paul.

"The only explanation we can come up with right now is a murder,"Sam said firmly, watching Paul. The firelight reflected eerily on his face.

We had all met up at the cliffs to discuss what was going on, the air up here was cooler even though it was an August evening. I had just gotten here from Taj's house, and part of me still wished I was there instead of being stuck with an irritated group of werewolves. The past few days had actually been pretty nice with Taj, at first I had been put-out at being forced to work with her, but after she had apologized, well, I had more respect for her. Plus, we had been friends before, and I didn't want to let go of that just because of some misunderstanding. So I had agreed to start over, and things were actually pretty good, even better than that. Spending time with Taj was a nice break from the pack, it was almost like..being normal again. But like the way it really used to be. I still talked to some of my friends from school, but it just hadn't been the same with them since the change, it was almost like some part of them _knew_. And plus that, Sam said it would be risky to get too close with anyone outside the pack.

But with Taj, she acted the same with me, just like when we had been kids. Like nothing had ever happened. And she just seemed accepting, there was just a vibe I got from her, that she was a good person. That she would never hurt me, that nothing could go wrong when the two of us were together. I had only felt like that with one other person, a long time ago..

..But they had hurt me, in more ways than one.

"Stop trying to kid yourself!"Paul cried, pacing now, his hands were shaking as he paced, stopping near the edge of the cliff,"We all know it has to do with those bloodsuckers Sam, one way or another, it does. This hasn't even happened to _you_ before."

Embry growled, his eyes darkening,"Shut it, Paul! None of us know what's exactly going on, and you throwing a tantrum isn't helping us any."

A snarl ripped from Paul's throat, his nostrils flaring. Embry growled lowly in reply, but didn't stand up to meet his challenge. It had been a long day for everyone.

"Will you two cut it out?"Leah snapped,"I have work in the morning and your bickering is cutting into my bedtime."

I looked over at Sam,"Well, what can we really do?"

Sam sighed, resting his chin in his palm, his eyebrows furrowed in thought, he shook his head,"I really don't know what to tell everyone, this _is_ the first time that this has happened. But if the coven had been involved we would have caught their scent, for now the closest explanation we have is a murder, until we uncover a new scent or find any clues."

The pack settled into an uneasy silence, this was the first time that Sam really wasn't sure of what was going on. Sam who always had the answers, who was always so sure of himself, the right leader, the alpha, wasn't sure. This couldn't mean anything good for the pack. Or Forks, for that matter, if people kept disappearing. I was blank on answers too, the only explanation I could come up with was..well, that the coven was up to something. If it _had_ been a murder, the scent would still be around for a couple of days.

"What's the most puzzling is that there aren't any leads,"Sam said almost to himself,"Joe McCarthy was juts visiting distant family for the weekend, he wasn't even a _resident._ So he goes on a hike, gets lost..but heads back in the direction of town and disappears? It doesn't add up."

"It must have been a body,"Quil said, shrugging,"Otherwise they would have reported him found by now."

"But who would bring a body into Forks?"Leah frowned,"Wouldn't you want to take it _away_ from civilization?"

"I have a theory of who would bring a body into Forks,"Paul said from the log he was laying on.

"Paul, please, just give us a break,"Jared said, groaning.

"Well at least _I'm_ paying attention,"Paul said pointedly, looking at me.

"What?"I asked, taking in Paul coolly.

"I know we're not the most entertaining company as of lately,"Paul said, sitting up,"But can you stop thinking about _her _for a few minutes and focus on what's going on? It's mildly important."

And then, like magic, I was suddenly dragged into the limelight. Everyone's gazes fell on me.

"Well heaven forbid if I think about _Taj_ for a few minutes,"I growled,"I was thinking more about her car anyways, if you don't mind."

Paul laughed,"That's not what I saw."

I scowled at him, intent on repaying him for that comment, and making me endure what I was now.

"You do think about her a bit, Jake,"Leah said slowly, watching me.

"So?"I said defensively,"I've been on punishment with her, if I've been spending time with her I'm obviously going to think about her a little."

"But now you're _choosing_ to spend time with her,"Embry said calmly.

Why was everyone so bent on me imprinting on someone? I mean, couldn't I just hang out with a girl without being over analyzed? I mean, I understand that they were only worried about me, especially after Bella had left, but me imprinting on someone wasn't going to change anything.

"I don't _like _her if that's what you're all getting at,"I said slowly as I looked over them, my tone icy,"And I was focused on what we were talking about until you brought it up Paul, now can we get back to our original conversation? Unless you guys think that somehow Taj has something to do with this weird disappearance."

Everyone fell silent, the fire popped, sending bright sparks into the sky, fading into ashes on the wind.

"Well _excuuse_ me,"Leah commented prudently.

"A little bit defensive, don't ya think Jake?"Quil asked, looking at me humorously,"It's okay though, I mean, kinda weird that she's my cousin, but it's cool."

Ugh! How could I put this bluntly to them?

"Okay, listen, I'm just spending time with Taj to help her with her car, that's it!"I said, looking at everyone,"After it's done I won't have anything to do with her anymore, it'll be just the pack again, twenty-four seven."

"I like Taj though,"Leah frowned sullenly,"Does that mean I have to stop hanging out with her too?"

I sighed and rubbed my forehead, feeling a headache coming on. But at least the subject was closed, now we could move on to more impor-

_He's just afraid that she'll leave him, like the last one did for that parasite,_ the thought hissed in my mind, burning white-hot and my head snapped in Paul's direction. Everyone was looking at him a little shocked, Quil and Embry looked stormy though. I felt the similar rush of fire race down my back and a growl came from my chest as I stepped towards Paul, I wanted the change though, I wanted to tear at Paul's throat. My body began to shake at the thought, wanting the change more than anything. I closed my eyes though, pushing away the red that rushed in front of my eyes, I took deep breaths, quelling the fire that had built up in me. Soon only my hands were shaking, but before anyone could say anything I walked away from the group, towards the street. I wanted to get away from everyone, and maybe I would change, just to put more miles between all of us at a quicker pace, to forget the anger, the loss and feel nothing but the damp soil and the breeze hitting my face. Not to feel like Jacob Black anymore, just for a little while.

"He didn't mean that,"A calm voice said behind me.

I turned around, already knowing who it was. Sam came to a halt behind me, his hands in his pockets, I could feel his eyes on mine even though it was too dark to see his expression.

"Everyone's just a little irritated,"Sam continued, stepping towards me,"Especially Paul. You know how he gets."

"Yeah, I know,"I said submissively, leaning against Quil's truck,"I can't help it though when they say things like that."

Sam nodded,"I understand, I'm actually surprised you didn't push him off the cliff. That took a lot of self-control."

I shrugged,"You get a lot of practice after a while."

A small gap of silence fell between us, something rustled in the brush and I glanced over, probably a rabbit or something.

"You do seem happier lately,"Sam said slowly,"You can tell just by looking at your face."

Ugh, Sam _too_? Did a guy ever get a break around here?

"I don't like-"I started, but he cut me off.

"I didn't say that, I just made an observation,"Sam said calmly.

I sighed slowly, not wanting to jump all over him,"I _have_ been happier lately. It's like, when I hang out with her..I feel normal again. Not like I do with other people, this is more real. Like with.."I trailed off hesitantly, I probably sounded like an idiot. I knew none of us could be normal again, this was our fate, and we had to face it one way or another, we couldn't try running away from it.

"With Bella,"Sam finished, nodding slowly,"I can understand how that could be a tough relationship to give up. _Do_ you like her?"

"No! I..no, no I don't like her. Not like that,"I said quickly, and the words sounded more real, more valid as I said them, it calmed me a little,"I just saw Taj that day and she looked so hostile, I guess like I did. I didn't want her to be like that, so I've been spending time with her to try to make her happier, and it's been working lately, I think."

Sam nodded, understanding,"You want to protect her innocence. She _has_ had a rough time the past couple of years,"He paused for a moment to glance over the dark sky,"This is doing her more harm than good though Jake, if you're planning on leaving, that is. How is she going to react?"

I hadn't gotten that far, I hadn't even planned on getting _this_ far, and that's when I realized that I might have just dug myself into a hole. How would Taj react when I suddenly stopped hanging out with her? Would she be like..I pictured Bella's face a couple of years ago, after the parasite had left Bella, her face stood out vividly and it horrified me that I might hurt _Taj_ that way..I didn't want to think about that. But there was nothing else I could do, I couldn't keep hanging out with her. What if I lost it one day and I really hurt her? Or what if she started noticing things and started questioning me?

"I don't mean to burst your bubble Jake, but you can't keep hanging out with her. You could hurt her, and that would hurt you more than leaving her,"Sam said, voicing my thoughts,"Not to mention it would put the pack in danger, it is even now. I don't want Taj to know if she doesn't have to, and I'm sure you would want it the same."

His words hit me with finality, but Sam was right, Sam was always right. And I did want it the same, letting Taj know would put her in danger as well, especially with Paul. But I thought about not going over her house anymore, something I had grown used to in the past week, about not seeing her face light up when she saw me. ..I didn't want to give that up. It was selfish but..No, no this would be easy. I could leave her if I really wanted to, even without a second glance. We were just friends after all, it wasn't like we were married or anything. I wondered briefly how Sam knew about what had happened to Taj.

"Yeah, yeah I know,"I said, nodding quickly,"No big deal, I'm sticking with what I said before. As soon as the car is done, I'm out of there. I'll just say dad needs help around the house and I'll stop hanging out with her. There'll be more time to find out what's going on anyways."

And once again, the words seemed more real, more final as I said them, believable even, especially to myself. It gave me more strength to be able to just walk away. I had my own problems to worry about, more important problems. Taj Williams had survived without me before, she would survive after I left.

_But would I?_

It had been an after thought, of course I would be fine. She was just some girl, it didn't matter.

"I'm sorry,"Sam suddenly said, his eyes on me.

I met his gaze, even smiled a little,"For what?"


	8. Chapter 8:Confession

don't know, it just doesn't look quite right to me,"I said, shrugging helplessly as I stood from kneeling on the ground in the garage, looking over a fender we had just put on. Putting on the fender had only taken Jake and I ten minutes, adjusting it had been slightly more difficult though. It matched up front fine, but at the back, well it was just brushing the door. I was looking out for any imperfections. I tried taking a step back and looking at it. Nope, it still looked off.

"You're such a perfectionist,"Jake grumbled from where he was laying on the work bench, his eyes were bright though,"At this rate, we'll be lucky if we finish before next year."

"Well if we mess something up that statement might come true,"I pointed out, smiling slightly,"Now stop being a baby and hand me that wrench please."

He did so, and I kneeled near the fender again, taking off the screws that held it into place. The fender slowly began to lower itself and light as a cat, Jake got up and held the fender for me while I took off the screws. Those muscles did come in handy sometimes.

"Aha!"I said, taking off one of the screws,"One of the screws didn't have a cup underneath, that explains everything."

"You mean we've spent the last twenty minutes working on this fender because of a _screw_?" Jake asked, looking at me.

"Well, it's better than the fender not fitting, right?"

Jake groaned in reply.

"Keep your chin up,"I told him,"We still have to go over the wiring."

Jacob nudged me with his foot as I put the fender back in place,"Don't even joke about that."

"Who said I was joking?"I smiled, questioning innocently,"What happened to ' I'm so psyched, I bet we'll finish this today'?"

Jacob replied with a playful scowl,"That was _before_ I was hungry."

"Okay, I get the picture,"I said, brushing the dirt off my knees as I stood again, I looked over the fender. It now rested perfectly.

"Is there anything you do other than eat?"I jibed, putting the wrench back.

"I help girls in distress fix up their cars,"Jacob joked back, looking at me innocently.

I snorted,"Yeah, you wish."

Jake and I had started working on Neil yesterday afternoon, putting in both head-lights and setting up the wiring for them along with the tail-lights as well. Then we had started putting in some of the miscellaneous interior parts, like buttons and lights. It had been an all around good day, I was almost completely comfortable with Jacob now. It was almost insane to think that we had been fighting only a week ago. There was just something about him that made me feel a little bit happier, like his personality was contagious. When I was with Jacob I was almost..well, like the way I used to be. But there was another part of him that still made me wary, defensive; like I was afraid he would turn on me. I felt horrible saying this, but it was the truth. It was that composed, calm expression he had sometimes, like he was forcing it, or a certain glint in his eyes. It scared me almost, it was a wild, angry glint. Sometimes it could be seen when he was laughing, and that made me feel worse. I know I was a jerk, feeling this way about him, but I couldn't help it. It was just something I couldn't explain. And yet out of everyone, I sought his company the most.

"Alright, well let's go get some lunch,"I said and we left the garage, walking into the [thanks to us nicely painted house. Finishing up the painting had taken us four days, including a second coat, and though it was nice to hang out with Jake, I was glad it was over.

My Mom looked a little surprised when she saw Jake walk inside after me.

"Oh, hello Jake,"She said, pausing in her paperwork at the kitchen table,"How are you?"

"I'm good thanks,"He answered as I looked through the cabinet, pushing a bag of chips into his chest.

He took the chips and gave me another playful scowl before opening them and digging in. I grabbed two glasses from the cupboard, filling them up with coke before placing one in front of Jacob, whom had settled himself at the table.

""Taj,"My Mom said, looking a little horrified, looking at my hands,"What have you been doing?"

"Oh,"I said suddenly, putting my glass down, my fingers dirty with grease,"Sorry Mom."

I quickly walked over to the sink to wash my hands.

"Really Taj, those aren't nice manners,"Jacob commented jokingly.

I glared at him, but answered my Mom,"We've been working on Neil."

"Your _car_ has a name?"Jacob asked, pausing in his chewing to look at me.

"I thought you decided to sell the car and the parts,"My Mom said slowly, watching me closely.

"Well, yes,"I said, drying my hands now,"To both."

"I have a motorcycle but you don't see me naming it,"Jacob commented.

"Why have you decided otherwise?"My Mom asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, for your information, my _car_ is a Mustang, and we have a close relationship,"I said to Jacob, joking around, then I calmed, looking at my Mom,"Jake offered to help me out. So we're working on it together, it would be a shame to sell it."

I was exuberant with the information, but my Mom didn't seem quite as pleased.

" Well that's very nice of you Jacob,"My Mom commented, looking at him now.

"Oh, it's no problem,"Jake said, shrugging his shoulders,"It's a nice car, and Taj and I worked everything out. I'm going to help her in exchange for shotgun every time we drive in her car."

I laughed a little, sitting down at the table. It had been nice to spend the past few days with Jacob, it was making Mel's absence easier. I still wished she was here though, and although she e-mailed me every other day, it still wasn't quite the same. I caught my Mom's expression from the corner of my eye, it was the same expression a lioness that wasn't quite amused might have. I wondered what was up with her, had it been something I'd said? Before I could throw her a curious glance though she brought up a different subject.

"I have to get you registered at school,"She said, putting her pen down,"But, since we live on the border line of each, you can basically pick which school you'd like to attend, Taj."

I frowned a little,"Can't I be home schooled?"

"Funny,"My Mom commented, giving me a look.

"You should go to my school,"Jake suggested, drinking his coke, which was nearly gone by now,"This way you could hang out with Embry, Quil, Leah and I."

"Sounds good to me,"I finished.

My Mom wasn't though,"Well, look through your options Taj, the public school might have classes that you want to take that La Push doesn't have."

I shrugged my shoulders a little,"I don't know, there isn't anything really specific that I'm interested in. I mean, both schools teach English. But I see what you mean."

I was trying to please my Mother, but I _did_ want to go to the school in La Push, my friends were there. Being the new kid didn't appeal to me.

Jacob looked at me curiously.

"I want to be a teacher,"I answered, reading his glance.

"Well, you never know Taj,"My Mom said patiently before gathering her paperwork and leaving the room.

I watched her leave, frowning a little to myself.

"..Is something wrong?"Jake asked, as confused as I was.

"I'm not sure.."I said slowly, turning to look at him,"Don't worry about it though. Rents are weird."

Jake nodded, then I heard his phone vibrate and he took it out of his pocket, flipping it open to read a text message.

"Hey,"He said, looking at me,"Everyone's down at the beach, do you want to go?"

"Sure,"I said easily, taking our glasses and putting them in the sink while he texted a reply and shut his phone.

"We'll take my bike,"Jake offered, adding before I turned to look at him,"I have an extra helmet."

I hesitated, my Mom wouldn't be pleased with the idea of me on a motorcycle.

"Come on,"Jacob said, his signature grin lighting up his face, he walked up behind me, saying close to my ear,"You know you want to.."

I cast him a stern look ,joking of course, and pushed him away, he was right, I did want to ride his bike. I'd never been on a motorcycle before. I looked across the hall, my Mom was sitting in the living room, now finished with her paperwork, she was reading a book. Well, it wouldn't hurt to try.

I let out a slow breath and walked into the living room, telling my mom where we were going, then I tried to play off the last part casually, leaving the room.

"Yeah, so we're just going to the beach, and oh yeah, we're going to take Jake's bike there."

"Hold on just a second,"My Mom said, now closing her book.

I turned around to face her. Like I said, it hadn't hurt to try.

"You're taking Jake's _bike_ there?"She asked, watching me.

"Well Dad took the car, and you have to go see Naomi later,"I pointed out, adding,"Jake has an extra helmet for me, we'll be responsible."

Okay, like 'ketchup' and 'ice-cream', 'motorcycle', and 'responsible', could never be used in a sentence together.

"Well.."My Mom said slowly, quiet for a few moments,"I'll let you go just this once, but don't count on it again Taj, and if I hear you're not wearing a helmet, you won't see the light of day for at least three weeks."

I grinned happily,"Don't worry Mom, and thanks. We'll be back around three."

"Oh, and be careful hon,"My Mom added,"They never found that person that went missing a couple of weeks ago, and someone else was just reported missing as well."

I nodded before leaving the room, I had heard about the missing reports, but I didn't really keep up with the news. Still, the thought of some possible murderer wasn't the happiest thought in the world.

I walked back to Jake, elated and for a moment the two of us just stood looked at each other before silently cheering. Then we quickly left the house.

"You seem tired,"I commented as I buckled on the helmet that Jake had handed me, he had been gazing out at the road almost wistfully.

"Oh, I'm okay,"Jake said, snapping back to reality,"Late nights, you know."

He swung his leg over the shining black motorcycle, waiting for me to get on.

"Okay,"I said before swinging my leg over,"Now, don't even _think_ of trying anything, or I'll be grounded for reasons other than being home late."

"Yeah, 'cuz I was totally planning on being an idiot on a motorcycle,"Jacob replied sarcastically,"Taj,"He said sound a little tired, facing forward again,"Get on the bike."

I gave him a rueful smile before getting on behind him, wrapping my arms around him. Once again warmth, like there was an inner sun in his chest, emanated from him. I was puzzled again, frowning to myself at this, but waiting for him to kick the bike into life, but before he did so he hesitated and glanced at me over his shoulder, watching me from the corner of his dark eyes.

"You know, I'd never do anything to hurt you Taj,"He told me gently.

It caught me a little, the way he had said it, not just casually, but like he really wanted to make a point of it. I met his eyes and for a single heartbeat I felt unsure, restless, like I wanted to get up and walk away without a word, and yet at the same time I felt attached to him, like I couldn't leave even if I wanted to..but I didn't.

But the feeling had faded even before I could register it and Jake had started the bike by then, the engine roaring to life and settling into a gentle purr. We took off slowly and gently from the curb, going an easy pace down the road. I appreciated Jake's cautiousness, and at first I was a little nervous, but I became more comfortable after a few minutes. It was even nice, going along the long empty roads, watching the scenery fly by, and being able to feel the wind on your face, well, somewhat, considering Jake was sitting in front of me.

We stopped at a light, getting ready to turn into the reservation when Jake turned a little to look at me, raising his voice over the engine.

"Ready to go faster?"

"Are you kidding?"I asked,"I was _born_ ready."

He grinned at me before turning away, and I held on a little bit tighter.

As soon as the light changed he took off at a much faster, but not reckless, speed. We soared along the dirt roads, people pausing to watch us as we went past, shaking their heads a little. I used to see that same gesture all the time, usually the term 'reckless teenagers' wasn't far from their lips.

The ride ended too quickly, Jake cut the engine as we pulled up at the beach and I got off, taking off my helmet.

The beach was nearly deserted, a very rare sight to me for a beach in the Summer. The sky was an overcast gray, but it only made the beach seem that much more beautiful. Jake and I walked up together silently, the waves broke on the shore unrelentingly, the ocean a swirling gray-black. A couple of jetties reached out into the water, reaching back into rock flats, which was where the tide pools were. It wasn't hard to spot the Quileute group, because they were the only ones there.

I could easily pick out Quil, Embry, Paul, Lisa, Leah, and two other boys that I hadn't met before. But as we drew closer the one seemed more like he was in his early thirties.

"The older one is Sam,"Jake told me quietly,"And the other one is Jared."

I nodded silently before Quil jogged over to us, tackling Jake. I stepped away, staying out of harms way.

"Well it's good to know you two finally decided to stop being hermits,"Embry commented, walking over with Lisa.

"Yeah, we decided you guys were worthy of our company,"I grinned.

"Oh, I see how it is,"Embry said trying to keep his face serious, but failing miserably.

"Quil, will you stop molesting Jake, please,"Leah said, walking over to stand next to me, her arms folded, expression indifferent.

"You're just jealous,"Quil said, getting up to brush the sand off his clothes.

Jake got up as well, punching Quil in the arm.

"Oh, you have no idea,"Leah bantered. She looked at me and smiled.

I returned the smile without even thinking, it was nice to see everyone.

She leaned closer, speaking quietly to me,"Lisa and I are so glad you're here, do you have any idea what it's like being stuck with these guys all the time?"

I laughed a little,"Sorry I couldn't get here sooner."

"No worries,"Leah said, sitting on one of the rocks,"How's the car?"

I sat down with her and delved into conversation, having told Leah about the car once before at work. I could tell she was really listening to me to, she watched me as I talked, nodding every so often.

"Good,"She said,"Yeah, Jake's always been into that kind of stuff. But ever since Embry started going out with Lisa, well, he hasn't had anyone to do that kind of stuff with."

She looked away from me and I followed her gaze, Jake was now talking with Jared, Embry and Quil. Suddenly, three of them broke into laughter, Jared smiling ruefully. I saw Jacob's bright grin and I couldn't help but smile myself.

"It's nice for him to hang out with you,"Leah said,"He needs some variation in his life, y' know?"

"Yeah, I understand,"I said, nodding, looking over at her.

"That doesn't mean he can't share though,"Leah said with a smile,"It's nice to have another girl around."

I smiled,"I know what you mean. We'll have to hang out soon."

Leah nodded,"Maybe we can go catch a movie or something with Lisa."

"Sounds good to me,"I replied easily, standing up to wander along the salt encrusted rock, dried seaweed and barnacles clung to it, waiting for the ocean to rise again.

I stood on the rock for a few moments, pausing to look at a large tide-pool, star-fish clung to it's sides, along with sea-weed and a couple of sea-urchins. A few small fish darted around, their indecisive turns almost dance-like. I could remember coming here with Quil and Naomi, everything had seemed so much bigger then. I wondered if he had felt the same way the last few times when he had come here.

I heard Leah take in a breath, about to say something, when a sudden upheaval from the boys caused us both to look over at the group.

Embry was walking over to us quickly, the others following.

"Taj,"He said, climbing up on the rock,"You've been here how many times and you've _never_ gone cliff-diving?"

He seemed absolutely upset about this, almost a little outraged, he looked at me intently, waiting for an answer.

"Um, no,"I replied a little hesitantly.

"What?!"Embry said, frowning, he looked over at Quil incredulously,"What kind of cousin are you?"

"Oh, not _this_ again,"Leah grumbled, rolling her eyes.

Quil had brought up cliff-diving to me before, the last time I had visited Forks, and personally, jumping three hundred feet into the ocean only inches away from a rocky surface just wasn't my thing.

"Cliff diving just isn't my thing,"I said, folding my arms.

"How would you know, you've never even gone before,"Embry pointed out.

"And I don't plan on doing so in the near future,"I finished.

"What are you, _scared_?"Jake asked as he walked over and stood next to me, grinning.

"Well it's not exactly the safest activity,"I replied calmly.

"It's perfectly safe, the rocks are farther out, so there isn't a chance of you landing on one,"Jake explained, adding in a mocking tone,"I'll hold your hand if you want."

Laughter erupted from the group and I scowled at Jake.

"I'm just going to say what I said last time, I'll go swimming in one of these tide pools before I jump off a cliff."

And that was when Jake smiled deviously, and pushed me into the tide pool, which was conveniently located right behind me. It hadn't even been that hard of a shove since it had caught me off guard, just a gentle push, and I fell back into the cold water with a splash. I was half submerged for a minute, but I quickly scrambled up, the water level reaching my upper stomach

I'm sure it would have been funny to see my shocked expression. But considering I was the one with the soaked jeans, I wasn't pleased. Everyone else was though. Embry, Quil and Jared broke into howls of laughter, and you couldn't have slapped the grin off Jacob's face. Leah quickly got up and walked over, she looked at me and then shoved Embry, but it didn't stop his laughter.

"You guys are such jerks!"She said, frowning.

Jacob smiled at me condescendingly, bending down to meet me face to face,"Well, I guess you're going cliff diving now."

I looked at him and gave him my best smile, moving closer to him so that his face was only inches from mine, I could see my reflection in his dark eyes, but then I broke my smile,"You're so dead."

And before he could react I grabbed him around the ankles and pulled him roughly forward[he was heavy!, causing him to lose his balance and fall in the tide pool as well. I quickly backed up to avoid him, putting up an arm to protect myself against the splash.

More calls, more laughter, Leah smiled, giving me a thumbs up. Jake rose up out of the water then, his hair dripping and his clothes sopping wet. The water only came up to his belly button though, he was grinning as he looked at me, shaking his head a little.

I was sure he was intent on revenge, and I scrambled back away from him, trying to get out of the tide pool without turning my back on him. Jake moved towards me, raising his hands to splash me when suddenly everyone went quiet. Jake did as well, slowly dropping his hands, looking past me now. I turned around and was a little startled by Sam and Paul's sudden appearance. The two of them stood silently, almost dauntingly and I felt myself become quiet and still as well.

Sam stood out more so than Paul though, and anyone could see that he was the sort of group leader. He was in his early thirties but he stood with the self-assurance of an old man, I immediately noticed that he had the same expression that Jake sometimes had, an almost forced calm, on the borderline of aloof. Defiance welled in my chest at the expression, though Sam bent down and offered me his hand to help me out of the tide pool, giving me a small smile, a feat I thought his face couldn't even attempt. I took his hand and he pulled me up easily.

"What's going on?"He asked, looking over everyone.

"I fell in,"I answered as easily as I could, his cool gaze making me nervous. I didn't want Jake to get in trouble.

"You fell in?"Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged,"Tripped, more or less,"I said, trying to make it more believable.

"Hmm,"Sam murmured, looking over at Jacob for a moment before his gaze turned back to me,"Well just try to be more careful, I don't need to send anyone to the hospital over a head injury."

I nodded,"Sorry,"I offered as he turned and began to walk away.

"It's alright, let me go grab a couple of towels from my car,"Sam said calmly before walking away from us.

"Yeah Taj!"Quil said as soon as Sam was out of ear-shot, grinning.

"You didn't have to do that,"Jake said to me, getting out of the tide pool.

I shrugged,"What are friends for?"

He looked at me and smiled.

"Well if you two are done with your mushy friendship moment,"Paul said, walking along the rock calmly,"I suggest we go start up the ATVs."

There were a few murmurs of agreement and just like that I set off with my new friends.

After Jake and I dried off we spent the next couple of hours playing around on the ATVs, racing up and down the beach, spreading rooster tails on the turns. I beat Quil and Paul in the races, but lost to Jacob. I demanded a rematch though, being as stubborn as I was, and we tied. Sam looked over us like a shepherd though, and more than once I could feel his eyes on me. It made me feel more separate from everyone else, like a wolf playing in a herd of sheep. Maybe I was just being paranoid. After a while everyone began to disperse, whether they had chores or work, and Jake and I decided to head back to my house to work on the car for a few more hours. We said bye to everyone, telling Lisa I'd see her tomorrow at work, and then we set off. I was more comfortable on the ride home, but Jake kept an easy pace, well, what we considered was an easy pace. When we got back we put on the bumper and the hood, installing the marker lights and checking the wiring.

It was around seven when we finished everything, the sun casting long shadows across the yard. I had opened the door and was sitting in the front seat, taking the keys from the top mirror, I put the keys in the ignition, leaning out to look over at Jacob, who was looking at the motor.

"Ready?"I asked, a little anxious, I had my fingers crossed that everything would start up alright, even though I knew we had wired everything correctly. I hadn't felt this way about a car since..

Jake nodded, his face serious,"Go ahead."

I took a steady breath and turned the keys, the engine roared into life, a deeper louder sound, I revved the engine and it snarled, I couldn't help but grin, ecstatic that it was running. Now it was time to really see if it worked. I clicked on the head lights, locked and unlocked the doors, rolled down both windows and up again, and then I turned on the windshield wipers. Everything was in working order. All of my months of hard work had finally payed off, I never thought I would have been able to get it done. I was jumping in the seat I was so happy, I cut the engine and got out, Jacob was just as happy as I was, a huge grin on his face. I ran over to him, still bouncing, I guess my joy had rushed to my head, because without even thinking I hugged Jake, saying through happy laughter,"It works! It works!"

Jake was laughing too, the noise coming from him, along with the trademark warmth and I pulled away, feeling a little awkward.

"I wouldn't have been able to do this without you though. You have no idea how much you helped me out,"I said slowly, calming down, I looked at him and smiled,"Thank you, Jacob."

I meant it too, I wouldn't have been able to finish Neil if Jacob hadn't helped me. The car would probably be scrap metal by now, and true, things hadn't gone as planned, with me working on the car with my Dad. But I wouldn't have chosen anyone other than Jacob to help me otherwise. He had helped me out with a lot more than just the car in the past week, I realized, and for that I owed him everything.

His dark eyes met mine and a slow smile formed on his lips, calming as well, and I felt like he understood what I meant. "What are friends for?"He asked me calmly.

I couldn't help but smile.

"So what are you painting it?"Jake asked as I sat down, giving him a can of Coke.

We were in the front yard now, the late afternoon sunlight warming us as the sky slowly turned to dusk. Jake was laying on his side while I sat cross-legged in the grass.

I looked over at Neil, sitting in the garage silently,"I was thinking we should paint it red with either black or silver racing stripes."

Jake glanced at me when I said 'we' but he nodded, drinking his Coke,"Silver would look cool, black is a little too overplayed."

I nodded with him, remembering something I laughed a little,"I remember when I first started working on Neil with my Dad, we spent the most time trying to pick out a color. Every day he'd come home from work with a new color. He was worse than Mel when she goes shoe shopping."

Jake laughed a little at this,"That seems kinda hard to imagine, your dad seems so serious."

"He never used to be like that,"I said slowly, remembering,"I mean, he knew when it was time to get work done, but he always took time aside to have fun too. He loved his work, and I don't blame him, he's amazing with what he does. I remember when we bought Neil, I felt bad for him, he was such a wreck when we went to look at him, we needed another car to get parts from. but my Dad let me buy the car, and he took time to show me what he was working on. He didn't just go and try to finish it by himself, that's what mattered the most to me."

The two of us sat in silence for a moment, listening to the peaceful stillness of the afternoon, crickets began their melody. It was a comforting silence though, the only person I could be comfortably quiet around was Mel.

"So what's the story behind that car?"Jake asked with interest, looking at the Charger. It still sat in pristine condition, not any leaves or dirt had settled on it's glossy surface. I had gone out every morning to wipe it off before leaving for work.

I was quiet for a few moments, debating whether to tell Jacob or not. I knew he would ask about it sooner or later, the only question had been whether I would tell him or not. I could just push the question away submissively, continue with our light hearted conversation about Neil in the quickly diminishing sunshine until dusk settled and he had to leave, never have to bother with it again. Or I could speed up to midnight and pull my demons out of the closet for him to see. Though the latter seemed less appealing, how long could I keep running away? You couldn't escape your shadow.

I had always known that it wasn't about Jacob or anyone else who asked, it never was; it was about me. It was about knowing what role I played in the story behind the Charger, about what the car represented to me, that was what I wanted to hide, to shut away. But I couldn't, not now, not ever. Maybe outrun it for a while, but never escape entirely.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to,"Jake said gently, he was watching me calmly now.

"It was my brother and I's car,"I began, taking a steady breath as I looked at the Charger and everything seemed to fade away,"I was always really close with Eric, he was the best brother anyone could have asked for. He had his moments, but I think that's part of a sibling relationship, y' know? He was practically my bodyguard growing up."

Jake nodded slowly,"I remember, he used to hover over you like a shadow."

I nodded, continuing,"My Dad had taught Eric about cars before he had shown me, he would help my Dad sometimes at the shop. Anyways, we decided to work on a project before he went off to college and we thought, hey, why not a car?" The story came more easily as I continued, like remembering an old nursery rhyme,"Mel and I had been hanging out with another friend at that time, someone I had known since I was five, before I met Mel. Jamie, Mel and I were really close, like you, Quil and Embry are. But during our first year of high school, well, Jamie started hanging out with the wrong crowd. She was going through her partying phase, something I never went through, and Mel didn't want any part of it, so she slowly stopped talking to Jamie. It hadn't been on bad terms or anything, they just stopped hanging out. I didn't want to let go of our group though, I wasn't ready for things to change, and I was worried about Jamie, too, I had always felt like an older sister with her, like I was meant to keep her out of trouble, along with be her best friend. Jamie was never a bad person, she had just made a couple of wrong choices. I thought that maybe if I could point her in the right direction again things could be the way they used to be, so, I kept hanging out with Jamie, even if that meant hanging out with her new 'friends' too. Mel had been smarter."

"They would offer me a drink or a cigarette, but I always said no. I never wanted to have anything to do with that stuff, and plus, I had to keep an eye out for Jamie. That wasn't all they were into though, they liked cars,_ fast_ cars. And racing, even if you didn't have your license yet,"I told him, Jake was listening calmly, his dark eyes unreadable, "They thought I was pretty good."

"A lot of them came up to me and would ask me to race, and I beat most of them, I lost a few, but you can't be perfect. I would be lying to you if I said I didn't love it. It wasn't about other people liking me though, about fitting in with them. It was about the racing itself. It was your basic teenage recklessness I guess, about feeling invincible, about the rush...What I was doing wasn't right either though.

"Eric knew I who I was hanging out with and he didn't like it, but he didn't tell our parents. He talked to me a lot about it though. He should have told them,"I took an easy breath, continuing,"I knew it upset him and I finally promised him I'd stop hanging out with them, and I did for a while. It was just before then that I found the Charger.

"Jamie and I had been over one of her friend's houses after school and the Charger was sitting in the driveway, it was so rusted it looked like it had come with the house when they had bought it. I knew it was just what Eric and I were looking for, and I bought it from the kid for a hundred bucks."

"Good deal,"Jake commented calmly, but he wasn't smiling.

I looked over at the Charger and nodded,"He was so happy when I showed it to him, like a kid on Christmas. We started working on it as soon as possible. That was the relationship I should have been trying to keep together though, Eric was always patient with me, teaching me things and giving me tips. I couldn't have been happier. The work together took us about five months, all we had left to do was reset some of the wiring, and then it would be on the road."

I took a steady breath as I continued, getting ready to look the demon in the eyes,"School had just ended and Jamie invited me to a woods party that some of the seniors were throwing, it was going to be held in Forks, actually. I remembered my promise, but it would be dangerous for Jamie to be there by herself, I had to go with her to keep her safe, so I didn't tell anyone about it and snuck out of the house, leaving with Jamie."

"It was the longest party I'd ever been through, the whole senior class was there, along with most of the junior class and some sophomores and freshman, and a lot of students from Forks were there too. Everyone was drinking, I wouldn't have been surprised if I was the only one sober, it was hard to keep track of Jamie, but I managed to keep an eye on her, and she was safe for another party, thanks to yours truly,"I sighed, I took a deep breath now, doing my best to keep my voice from wavering,"It must have been four in the morning when we started heading back to town, we were going to take a bus home. That's when we saw an ambulance and cop cars parked all over the road. Obviously, everyone thought it was about the party so they all started taking off, but we heard from someone that they had found a body on the side of the road."

"I guess you could have called it a sixth sense, but I just got this gut feeling and I walked over to the cars, even though Jamie was telling me just to keep walking. ..I-I managed to get close enough to see who it was before they pushed me away."

"It was Eric,"I said, nodding, trying to swallow the lump in my throat as I remembered his face, his skin pale, his eyes staring blankly at the dark sky,"He had gone looking for me, having heard about the party at our school. The police said that it had probably been a hit and run."

My breathing was getting more unsteady, and I swallowed again, trying to calm myself down,"I never want to see my Mom look the way she had when she got to the police station that morning. She had gotten up during the night and had noticed we were both gone. ..She had been so happy that I was okay.

"..I thought it was terribly ironic that in trying to help keep someone safe, that it had caused someone else's death,"I said slowly, the words falling dead from my lips, but I cleared my throat again, trying to keep a business-like tone,"The police never found out who hit Eric, and slowly, my Dad stopped working on cars, he stopped helping me with Neil, and he never brought up Eric. I stopped talking to Jamie and her friends, the only person that really got me through was Mel. But no one _ever_ brought up the Charger to me, I fixed the wiring, but I never drove it anywhere, we never even got to start it up. If I could change just one thing.."I trailed off, letting my sentence fade into the dusk.

I looked at the Charger in it's silent glory,"..I guess the reason I haven't sold it by now is because I'm not ready to let go of him."

I looked away from the car and turned my gaze to Jacob, I was surprised, and grateful that I hadn't broken down in tears. It was all about the practice I guess. He was silent for a moment, his expression both shocked, saddened, and empathetic. But it wasn't pitying, it wasn't like the faces I'd seen over the Summer, nor like my relatives. It was miles away from the expression I had loathed to receive after the accident. But it was an expression I never wanted to see on Jacob Black's face ever again. Then, like any good friend, without a word he sat up and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me to his chest.


	9. Chapter 9: Telephone Lies

9.Telephone Lies

"You seem distracted Taj,"My Dad said, suddenly pulling me from my thoughts. I looked away from the clock that seemed to be slowing every time I looked at it, towards my Dad, to see him looking back at me from his desk.

"Just impatient I guess,"I answered shrugging a little.

He chuckled a little, smiling at me,"Excited, eh?"

I nodded,"Yep."I didn't smile back though.

He didn't quite notice though, nodding as he looked over his paperwork,"I understand, you earned it kid."

"Thanks Dad,"I said, looking at the clock again. It was half past twelve, and I was getting cabin fever. I had come to the shop with my Dad today to pick up the car, my Dad having brought it to the shop yesterday to get it painted, it was kind of a relief to finally have it finished. I really was happy about it though, eager to see it painted and drive it home. Finally, a car of my own. I had been sitting in the office for five hours now though, and there wasn't much to do other than wait. I had been antsy the past couple of days though, I hadn't seen much of Jacob. He said he had to help Billy with some piping problem, and no one had answered when I called yesterday. It was almost a little pathetic how little of a social life I had without him, other than seeing Leah at work there wasn't anyone to hang out with, or anyone that I really wanted to hang out with for that matter.

I was a little worried about it actually, maybe I had scared him off with my story. I hadn't meant to, though, I just trusted him enough to tell him. At least, I _thought_ I had. I wondered if I had made a mistake, putting out too much information. I wouldn't really blame him, emotional teenage girls were pretty frightening. Unless I was just being paranoid, I mean, so what, he was busy for a couple of days. He didn't need to be hanging out with me every minute, he had a life too. Still, I couldn't help but be a little bummed out without his upbeat happy personality around. I'd been bored out of my mind. I really wanted to show him the car too, but I'd decided already that I wouldn't call him again, I didn't want to seem clingy. He would call me when he had time to hang out. I could survive.

..It wouldn't feel right though, driving the car for the first time without him.

Jeez, what was taking them so long? Had only five minutes actually passed? It had felt like at least half an hour. Ugh, I hated waiting. And there wasn't anything laying around for me to take out my OCD on. Not even any paper clips.

It was then that the office door opened and Ted walked in, he looked at me and grinned,"Should I be cruel and make you wait another hour?"

I groaned,"Oh come on, Ted!"

He laughed boisterously,"Alright, alright, come on."

I quickly jumped up, my Dad following and we left the office, walking out into the noon sunshine. People walked all over the yard, carrying car parts or going over paper work with each other, from the garage I could hear power tools going off. My pace was quick, excited and eager to see my car when we finally reached the end of the yard where the paint booths were located. My car was parked outside, the sunlight reflecting off it's deep red paint, silver-white racing stripes went across the hood and all the way to the back. I stood near it, looking over the hood and then I walked around it, looking it over. My distorted reflection followed me. I was ecstatic.

"It's perfect!"I grinned,"No runs, no chips. You guys did a great job."

My Dad looked over the car shaking his head,"You never would have guessed it was the same car."

He was right, I thought about what we had started out with, basically the shell of the car with nothing more than the interior and the engine and transmission. I never would have been able to finish it without his help, or Jacob's.

"Thanks for helping me with the car,"I said to both of them, still smiling.

My Dad shrugged,"What are you thanking me for? You made you goal and fulfilled it, I'm proud of you Taj."

I met his gaze and smiled again, I had never quite gotten a compliment like that before from him and I appreciated it,"Well you helped me, and so did Jacob."

"Jacob Black?"Ted asked curiously, looking away from the car to me.

I nodded,"He decided to help me put the last few parts on."

"That was nice of him. He's a good kid,"My Dad said, looking at Ted,"Bill Black's son."

Ted nodded,"Yeah, I've heard of him before,"He said, but with his expression something told me that it hadn't been in the best of spirits.

"You owe him Taj,"My Dad said, looking at me pointedly.

I shrugged,"I asked how to repay him but he said he just wanted to see it on the road, we're friends, so he just wanted to help me out."

"Hmm,"My Dad murmured,"Well, what do you think?"

I shook my head in disbelief as I looked at the car,"It's amazing, thank you."

My Dad smiled, putting his hand on my shoulder,"You're welcome Taj. But be careful going home, you won't want to hear from me if I find out you scratched that paint job."

"Oh, believe me I'll be going at least ten under the speed limit,"I said, joking a little.

"I'm going to go grab my camera, I'll be right back,"My Dad said, meeting my gaze before he turned and walked back to the office, his eyes full of pride.

I smiled a little to myself, it was nice to see my Dad so happy, so laid-back, even if it was only for a little while. There was just something about being told by your parents that they were proud of you. It meant a lot to me.

Ted walked over to me, acting like he was looking over the racing stripes, asking casually,"So what's the story with this Jacob kid?"

It had been too casual.

"Oh, we're just friends,"I answered calmly, but I was watching him. That was all that Jake and I were, friends..

"Hmm,"Ted murmured, looking at me with his brown eyes, there was something about them that I didn't like, like they were almost accusing, like I had done something wrong,"Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah Ted,"I said, still calm,"Why?"

"I'm just worried about ya, kid,"Ted answered, folding his arms as he looked at me.

I quirked an eyebrow, puzzled. My happy mood quickly dissipating. What did he mean? Did he think I was getting into trouble like last time? Jacob wasn't a bad kid, and I wanted to put the idea out of his mind as quickly as possible.

"Ted, I haven't-"

He cut me off smoothly though, shaking his head a little,"Just, make sure you know who you're hanging out with Taj. People aren't always as they seem."

What was he _talking_ about? The conversation was beginning to aggravate me, him talking to me like I was a little kid, like I didn't know Jacob at all. Like someone was keeping something from me.

"I don't know what you're getting at Ted, but Jacob is a good guy,"I said slowly, managing to keep the acid from my tone,"He would never do anything to hurt anyone. And we're just friends, so there's nothing to worry about."

"Do you really know that?"Ted asked lightly, his question innocent enough.

I was getting more confused by the minute, but I was positive Jake was a good guy. He was my _friend_, why was Ted trying to make me doubt him?

"There isn't any evidence that goes against my opinion.."I said slowly, my eyes not leaving Ted's.

Then he did something absolutely incredulous-he laughed. A chuckle came up from him, like I had told a pleasing joke, and his eyes brightened, but I didn't like them at all as they met mine again,"Just keep an eye on who you're hanging out with Taj, along with the rest of those Quileute kids. I wouldn't want to see you get hurt."

I frowned at him, what was he talking about? Ted had never acted this way before, and I really didn't like it. I had only ever known his good nature, why was he being so secretive all of the sudden? And I really didn't appreciate the way he was treating me, like a kid who'd just committed a crime but hadn't been convicted, but everyone knew. He was treating me like I was in denial, but about _what_? And he had mentioned all of the Quileute group, not just Jacob. What did he have against them?

I thought about Leah, Embry, Quil and Jared, they didn't seem like bad people, and I knew Quil, Embry and Jake had never done anything wrong, and I doubted Leah had ever done anything ill. The only person I could remotely think of having a less than perfect rep was Paul, but that was self-explanatory.

. I wanted to defend them but before I could speak Ted asked me another peculiar question.

"Have you been feeling okay lately Taj?"He said, his eyes searching mine, as if he was looking for a lie.

"Fine..Ted, just fine,"I said, wondering if I should ask him the same.

But before I knew it my Dad had walked back over with the camera and Ted dropped the conversation, acting like nothing had ever happened, I couldn't let it go though. Ted had never acted that way about anyone before, unless he was just worried about me going down the wrong path. But after what happened why would I risk that again? The only explanations I could come up with was that Ted was just being paranoid, or that..well, Jake _was_ keeping something from me, though I hated to admit it.

I didn't speed on the ride home, though the car went along like a dream and I got quite a few glances from other drivers and pedestrians admiring the paint job. I didn't even turn on the radio, didn't even pay attention to the beautifully rumbling engine. I was too deep in my thoughts too care. I didn't want to doubt Jacob, I knew him better than Ted thought, he wouldn't hide anything from me, at least, not anything that he thought I should know.

But then I remembered seeing Bella Swan from that day at the mall with Mel. ..Maybe she had something to do with it? I thought about how lady-like Bella had seemed and I almost laughed at the idea of her doing something criminal. Either way, something was definitely up, thought I thought it had to do more with Ted than with my friends.

I thought about the night when Jake and I had been in the front yard, when I had told him everything, his face flashed in front of my eyes before he had hugged me and hadn't let me go for at least ten minutes without a word. I thought about the way that smile lit up his face. Pure sunshine.

..No, it definitely had to do with Ted.

But just because he was suspicious of my friends didn't mean that I would doubt them. They hadn't given me reason to, so why start now? I tried my best to push the subject out of my mind as I parked in the driveway, home at last. But an unsettled feeling still stole over me, and I didn't feel like talking to anyone right then.

I walked into the house silently, glancing in the dining room, thankfully my Mom was on the phone so I silently stole up to my room, wanting to up-load the pictures of Neil to my lap-top and be alone for a while. I went upstairs and sat on my bed, the room oddly silent as I plugged in the digital camera. I decided to check my e-mail while I waited, and found out that Mel had e-mailed me earlier this morning.

**Hey you!**

**Great to hear about the car! I wish I was there so I could see you finish it. It's nice to know you have someone to hang out with there. See, Jacob isn't so bad. What **_**is**_** the story with you two? Is the stubborn Taj Williams giving in to a **_**truce**_**? Or maybe more.. ; I can't believe it! Lol, I'm only joking Taj. I've settled in really well, but college isn't half as fun without your best friend, I really wish you were here!!! My classes start in just a few days, but I've already made a couple of friends. It's **_**so**_** much better than highschool Taj, you have no idea. How have you been getting along though? Staying out of trouble I hope, lol. **

**I've got to go, I'm heading into town with a couple of friends. I'll be able to visit in a couple of weeks though.**

**Hope to see you soon!**

**Mel**

I read over the e-mail a couple of times, easily picturing Mel away at college, enjoying campus life. It made me miss her more, but I was glad that she was settling in alright and that she was happy. That's all that mattered. I got a weird, nostalgic feeling like the world was going on without me, Mel going off to college, my Dad finishing his career with working on cars. Why couldn't things just stay the same?

Well, there was no point in sulking over things that I couldn't control, I started a reply, attaching a couple of pictures of Neil to the e-mail. I started off my reply with telling her about the car and how well it had turned out, thanks to Jacob, of course. But I paused on answering about Jacob. I thought about what Ted had said earlier, about saying how people weren't always as they seemed..but Jacob was my friend, I was positive of that.

..Or were we more than friends?

I thought about his face the time he had looked at me when we were on his motorcycle, how calm, how sure he had been, and the same feeling rushed over me, about wanting to run away and yet wanting to stay at the same time. I thought about when I had told him about Eric, and a million images rushed to me at once, Eric's grinning face, similar to Jacob's, lights flashing in the night, my Mom, walking over to me hesitantly in the police station, as if she wasn't sure if I was real or not, and then hugging me close to her, like I might suddenly disappear, just before the waterworks had started. But what felt like the worst of them all was his face, standing out amongst all the others, both upset and shocked, almost startled, like something had been forced on him that he couldn't control. But there had been empathy in his eyes, and he had looked years younger, innocent, almost like a little kid. I didn't want to see him that way ever again.

I wanted to see him happy, and just be with him, because when I was with Jacob _I _was happier. It was like he had a disease and his behavior had infected me.. or maybe it had cured me. I could be myself with Jacob, just like before everything had happened, the bitter part of me had melted away and suddenly I was reckless, joking, and obnoxious again, I was a teenager, I even _felt_ younger. But I was _happy_ again. There was no question if it was because of Jacob, but was I _in love _with him?

I didn't know, and I didn't want to think about it anymore. Because, if I _did_ love him, _if_-..did he feel the same way about me? What if he just considered us friends? What if I risked telling him and it creeped him out and he didn't want to be friends with me anymore? It would kill me. Not that he would reject me, this was all hypothetical of course, but I wouldn't be able to be friends with him anymore. I would be right back to where I started, but alone, without Mel, without anyone. I shuddered at the thought. No, even if I didn't wind up liking Jacob, I wouldn't tell him. It would stay with me to the grave, because I didn't want things to change between us. For once I was given the power over the choice of change.

I decided to finish my e-mail later and left my room, needing something to keep my mind off of everything. I was at the top of the stairs when I heard my Mom still talking on the phone, and her side of the conversation stopped me.

"I don't care!"My Mom said, agitated, but more than that, worried,"This isn't healthy for her, she's not ready for that yet, Mom."

I paused, listening. She was talking to Naomi, and they were discussing me, but _what_ about me? It must have been something important, because of the way my Mom sounded. I quietly snuck into my parents room and picked up the phone, putting my hand over the mouth piece to listen to the conversation. It was really second-grader, I know, but it worked.

"..it would be better if she faced what's happened, Jen. And I think Taj is ready. You have to trust her to make the right choice, and Jacob is a good boy, he wouldn't do anything to put her in danger,"Naomi said, her voice calm and firm, though my Mom was a little less than frantic.

"I know Jacob's type!"My Mom said suddenly, her voice striking,"I know what they're all like. They're reckless, they think they're invincible because of what they are. But Taj isn't like them, and their behavior will only tempt her! I will not lose my daughter over some foolish horseplay. And this car being finished is only the beginning."

"Just because they're different doesn't mean they're not responsible, you should not judge them Jennifer. Sam always keeps an eye on them, and they're all very nice kids. They know their limits,"Naomi replied, her voice clipped,"And what will you do if Taj _is_ like them?"

A silence followed from my Mom. My mind was reeling with the information, what were they _talking_ about? How were they different? And what did they mean if I was like them? What in the world was going on? Maybe Ted _had_ meant something. The only way to know though was to listen, but there was such a long silence from my Mom that I thought that maybe I'd been caught. I even glanced over my shoulder before my Mom continued more slowly.

"..Then that's simply the way things are,"She said, as though accepting something,"But I doubt that she will be. She hasn't been showing any signs. And anyways, you know as well as I do that it's dangerous for her to be hanging out with them. What if one of them was too rough? And what if Taj finds out and she's not one of them? That will only continue the risk."

"I have spoken to Sam about that, and we have both agreed it would be better if she went on not knowing,"Naomi agreed amiably,"But taking away her friends will not help anything, it will only hurt her more. You know that being with Jacob has made her happier, even you're less worried. What do you think will happen if she's forced not to see him, any of them, anymore?"

My stomach dropped, _not being able to see them anymore?_

"Taj is a strong girl, and school starts in a couple of weeks. She can make new friends, _safe_friends,"My Mom replied her voice more firm as she continued,"I will not risk my daughter's safety because of her wants. We'll see what happens when the full moon comes around, but until then I don't want Taj anywhere near Jacob Black. Not any of them."

I slowly, quietly, hung up the phone, having heard all that I had needed too. I stood in disbelief for a few moments, slowly registering the information, trying to make sense of it. Full moon? _Them_? They must have been talking about the Quileute group, but what could they have done? And the fact that my mom didn't trust me hurt me more than you would know, though she had every right to doubt me. One thing was for certain, and that was that Jake was hiding something from me- _everyone_ was. But why didn't they want me to find out? And what where they talking about me being like them? It didn't make any sense, what could they possibly be talking about? Had there been something I'd missed? Out of the whole conversation only one thing stood out amongst the rest, like a burn mark, only one thing mattered. And that was that I wasn't allowed to hang out with Jacob Black anymore.


	10. Chapter 10: Getaway Car

10. Getaway Car

Nothing was making sense, it felt like all of my thoughts were bundled together, like I didn't have enough mental room to sort everything out. First Ted, but now my Mom and Naomi, too? And what was the reason for them not wanting me to hang out with Jacob, but Naomi approved? At least, somewhat. Maybe there was something in the water. After a couple of minutes though, I knew one thing I wasn't going to do though, and that was stop hanging out with Jacob. Thinking of him as dangerous made me want to laugh, Jacob was as ferocious as your average teddy bear. Plus that, I trusted him completely, if he felt that I was going to get hurt, he'd tell me. At least, I figured he would. No, he definitely would.

But how was I going to be able to prove this to my Mom? I didn't have any ideas, the situation seemed almost hopeless, once my Mom was set on a decision, she wouldn't back out of it. Especially if it had to do with me, and I understood why she was worried and hadn't wanted me to finish the car. Because she didn't want to see me hurt, and she didn't want to get hurt either. She didn't think I was ready to face my past yet..but part of me didn't think that she was, either. How would you feel if your kid was ready to stare down their demons but you weren't?

..But I was ready to face my past, I already had. I couldn't prove this to my Mom though. ..Maybe I could talk to her? Explain to her that I was okay, that we would get through things together, and that in a sense, Jacob had helped me, that he was a good friend. But how could I do that if I didn't even know what Jacob had _done_?

I didn't want to go and ask him, that would be rude, it wasn't even any of my business anyways. I could explain the situation with my Mom to him, maybe then he would understand and then some of the questions gnawing at my brain would be put to rest, but would he still tell me? If I was in his situation, well..it depended on how bad it was. It still wouldn't work. Plus that, I wanted Jake to tell me on his own, I wanted him to feel that he could trust me, but I wouldn't force him to do anything.

I still couldn't find a way to approach the situation, everything felt like it was out of my hands, like puzzle pieces that wouldn't fit together. I needed some fresh air to clear my head, and I wanted to avoid being left alone with my Mom for as long as possible, because she'd probably talk to me at the first opportunity she got. How long could I escape though? Well, for now, this would have to be enough.

I hurried down the stairs James Bond style, avoiding my Mom and quietly closing the front door behind me. I glanced over my shoulder as I walked down the porch steps and almost walked into a tree, or what I thought had been one at first.

"Jeez Taj,"Jake said, laughing a little as he put his hands on my shoulders to steady me.

"Oh,jeez, sorry,"I said, taking a step back. Well if it wasn't the man of the hour. Despite the fact that my mind was still buzzing I was happy to see him, and slowly the puzzling questions faded away.

He looked at me and gave me a small smile, but it felt a little feigned, his eyes didn't seem like they were quite there, they seemed more serious..and almost upset. Jacob seemed _bummed_? What the hell was going on today?

"Is something wrong?"I asked hesitantly.

"Hmm?"Jacob said, looking at me, seeming to be jerked away from his thoughts,"Oh, no, just been busy lately with Billy. I wanted to come see you though."

"Same,"I said, brightening a little,"Oh, hey, I know something that'll cheer you up. Come on."

And then before he could question me I walked over to the garage, opening the door and sliding inside. I had parked Neil in the garage for now, being meticulous about the paint. I knew my Dad would be too. The paint shined just as brilliantly though when I flicked the lights on.

Jacob looked it over in stunned silence, a grin in his eyes.

"Taj, it's awesome!"He said as he walked around it, looking it over, he looked over at me,"When did you get it finished?"

"I just brought it home this morning,"I told him, leaning against the workbench,"Waiting was a killer, but it was worth it."

"Definitely!"Jake said enthusiastically,"The paint job turned out really well."

"I never would have been able to get this far if it wasn't for your help,"I said honestly.

Jake shrugged,"Well it wasn't like I had anything better to do,"He said, but he looked at me and grinned.

"You're such a loser,"I said, but smiled as I gently pushed his arm,"Come on, let's go for a ride."

Then the two of us set off, driving around Forks, just talking. For most of the time I was calmly focused on the speed limit, listening to Jacob, but on the long, winding back roads I couldn't help but speed just a little bit. The car went as smooth as glass, easily navigating the turns, I loved driving it. It felt right that Jake was there with me too, like this was his car as well as mine. His 'bummed' mood seemed to fade completely within fifteen minutes, and everything felt normal, before the weird events that had taken place this morning. I almost completely forgot about what my Mom had said until we drove past the store. Jake seemed not to notice as I became a little bit more involved with my thoughts though and continued on in his chipper manner.

I wondered how anyone could think of Jacob as dangerous, and I wondered what he could have done for him to be considered as. But part of me felt that no matter what, I wouldn't judge him differently. Because despite what had happened, this was the Jacob I knew and liked, I trusted him, and that was all that mattered.

He looked over at the clock and his face fell a little,"I have to go home."

"Already?"I frowned, looking at the clock, time passed too quickly, I wondered briefly when I'd see him again, or if I'd be allowed to.

"Yeah I know,"He said as I turned onto another street, heading towards his house.

A brief silence fell between us before Jake started.

"Hey, there's going to be a bonfire tonight and the usual group is going to be there, would you want to go?"He asked, looking at me.

I hesitated at the answer, thinking about my Mom,"What time?"

"Around eight-thirty nine-ish, when it starts getting dark,"Jake answered, thinking,"Come on, it won't be half as fun without you there,"He added, smiling a little.

Well, how could I say no? The offer was tempting too, it would be nice to get out of the house and hang out with everyone for a little while. And there was always the chance of me avoiding my Mom until that time, If she left for work at six, I could put up a note, and I'd probably even be home before her. No harm done.

Technically it wasn't lying..technically.

Alright, so I did feel a _little_ guilty about disobeying my Mom like this, but my own personal wants were overwriting that guilt, and plus, this might be the last time I'd see Jacob, or that I'd be _allowed _to see Jacob.

And maybe I could find out more about what was going on, it was just a chance I couldn't pass up.

"Sure, I'll definitely be there,"I said with a nod and a smile as we pulled up to his house,"I'll pick you up a eight thirty."

"Awesome,"Jake smiled, but then he looked at me,"Wait, isn't the guy supposed to pick the girl up?"

I shrugged,"If it's a date, or if you're into that old-fashioned stuff,"I glanced over the interior,"Personally, I think it's who has the better car."

Jake gave me a look,"And you call _me_ a loser,"He said opening the door.

"Keep it up and you'll be walking there,"I said, but I was grinning.

He laughed a little and shook his head before closing the door behind him and heading up to the house, turning around to wave me off. I revved the engine and peeled away from the curb.

What can I say? Old habits die hard.

I didn't rush home, it was five thirty now and I wanted to avoid my Mom, if she was leaving for work I was in the clear for the night. And one night would be enough, it would have to be. Still, I couldn't imagine not being able to hang out with Jacob, not being able to hear his laugh or see his smile. Yeah, I'm well aware that I sound like a sulking loser, but Jake was my best friend, right up there with Mel. And if I didn't have Jake, then I didn't have anyone. It was funny to think that we had been rivals only a couple of weeks ago. Weird how things work out, don't you think?

And what would I say when he called me?

'Oh, my Mom doesn't want me hanging out with you anymore, sorry' I'm sorry but that just sounded too lame for me. Alright, so maybe pride was coming into play too. But then I'd have to tell him _why_, and even if he did tell me afterwards, would that change anything? I didn't want to make up excuses though either, that would be mean.

Ugh, couldn't anything just work out easily?

My Mom was right, I could make new friends when school started, but it wasn't about me being alone, it was about me having to give up the friends I had _now_. Especially Jacob.

It was five forty when I pulled up to the house, parking the car in the garage again. I walked up to the house as slowly as possible, taking my sweet old time. Then I'd just hide out in my room until she left and the coast was clear.

I wasn't quite so lucky though. Because as soon as I closed my bedroom door behind me, ready to do a silent cheer, my Mom was already in there, dressed for work, waiting for me.

"Oh, there you are,"My Mom said with a small smile as she turned to face me,"I've been looking all over for you, you're home late."

"I decided to go for a little joy ride, you know,"I said lightly,"Sorry."

"It's okay,"She said submissively, sitting on my bed. Uh oh, it was a sign that she was staying.

"How did the car turn out?"She asked, trying to make light conversation. This was how my mom always tackled 'talks' she would make light conversation, sit down, and then she'd try to do a sneak attack and pull the subject out of nowhere, saying simply 'we need to talk'. She was devious, but I had been onto her tactics for a few years now.

I sat down on a couch that we had brought up when we had moved in,"Perfect,"I said, feigning a bright smile,"It drives like a dream."

"Good,"My Mom said, smiling herself,"I'll have to see how it turned out. I'm proud of you, Taj."

Yup, here we go. The whole parental pride coming into play, right before the kill.

"I'm glad I caught you before I left, hon, I have to talk to you about something,"My mom said, folding her hands on her lap as she looked at me calmly.

I hate being right.

"What's up?"I asked, looking over at her.

She didn't even take a little while to choose her words, she had thought it all through already,"It's nice that you've been making new friends with Quil, and I notice that you've really taken to Jacob, but I don't think that he's quite the best influence for you."

I waited for her to continue, I would reply when she was finished.

"I'd just feel better if maybe you started hanging out with other friends too, school will be starting soon and you should broaden your horizons,"My Mom said a little hesitantly, not quite getting to the part I knew would end the conversation, but she didn't start again.

"So..you don't want me hanging out with Jacob anymore?"I finished for her.

"Well, yes,"My Mom nodded,"I'd feel better if you stopped seeing him."

"Why?"I asked placidly enough, frowning a little. Hey, it was worth a shot.

"Just, with this car, and Jacob..I've met boys like him Taj, and they seem fun, but sometimes they don't have the best intentions,"My Mom said, faltering a little with her words now,"I mean, I really am glad to see that you're happy with the car, but I don't want things turning out like last time, and Jake, he doesn't have the best reputation in Forks.."

I couldn't help but be annoyed, I know this had been coming from a mile away, knew every word already. But it was worse to hear it from my Mom, wouldn't she think that I'd learned my lesson by now? She was treating me like a criminal, I felt like a dog that was being kept on a tight chain, not being given the chance to redeem itself.

"Mom, why would I do that again? I've learned my lesson, especially after what happened with Eric. Why do you think I'd try to hurt you again?"I asked, leveling her with a cool gaze,"And Jake has been nothing but kind to me, he's my best friend Mom, and you're making him sound like he committed some sort of crime. Ted was acting the same way this morning. What did he do?"

I couldn't help but ask, but I did have some sort of right to know if I wasn't allowed to hang out with Jake anymore.

My Mom was silent for a minute, seeming a little bit jumbled, like I'd caught her off guard.

"Taj, don't take it that way, I know you wouldn't do it on purpose, but accidents can happen,"My Mom tried to explain, pausing,"I don't feel like it's my right to tell you about Jacob."

"Why can't you just try trusting me? You'll never know until you try, and even you said that accidents can happen, but we have to face them,"I said, my frustration building,"But isn't it my right to know somewhat if you're not letting me see him anymore?"

My Mom was losing her patience, her eyes narrowed,"Taj, this has nothing to do with trust, this has to do with you being ready to face what's happened and what could happen. And as for Jacob, can't you just trust me on this? Promise me you'll stop seeing him."

My frustration turned to rage, once again I was left without answers, I hated this, I hated being treated like a kid, I stood, folding my arms. Why couldn't they just tell me? It would make it easier for everyone.

"Mom I _am_ ready to face what's happened, I already have. Why can't _you_ face that? I just think that you're not ready,"I said, shaking my head a little,"I can't promise anything."

This wasn't quite how I'd pictured the conversation to turn out. I shouldn't have lost my cool like that, but I couldn't help it. I felt like I was running in one big circle, trying to find answers, and no one was helping. And most of all, I was tired of my Mom hovering over me, she'd been doing this for the last two years, trying to shut me in a protective bubble.

My Mom's expression killed me, she pursed her lips, her eyes hurt and defensive, like I'd just slapped her, she stood slowly,"Fine,"She said, looking at me,"I have to leave, but you have to stay in for the night. We'll continue this discussion in the morning Taj."

She left the room silently, closing the door quietly behind her.

I sighed and fell back on my bed, staring at the ceiling for a few moments. Well, _that_ conversation had really enlightened me. I wasn't upset by what my Mom had said though, I was still going to the bonfire with Jacob. This might be my last chance to see him, and I'd have to use that opportunity to the best of my advantage, it would be my only opportunity to find out what was going on. I was still hesitant about going right out and asking him though, I didn't want to ruin the night. Maybe he would tell me on his own.

As for my Mom, well, I'd apologize and we'd settle things tomorrow morning, whether I was grounded or not.

I pulled on a nice pair of jeans and a bright blue fox racing t-shirt along with my converses, grabbing my faded green army jacket and my keys before slipping silently out my window and stepping onto the roof. The sun was setting now, and I stopped for a moment, awed by it's beauty. Streaks of gold and red brightened the western sky, slowly fading into indigo black, a couple of stars looked down at me, cold and silent. It was cooler out now, and I found it a little funny, cool on an August evening. I walked voer to the edge of the roof and reached up to grab the wizened old branch hanging over me. I tugged on it gently, making sure it would support my weight. It seemed pretty stable, so I pulled myself up on the branch with some mild difficulty, then carefully shimmied along it, my ears straining to hear the sound of cracking wood. That was the last thing I needed. I made it to the trunk of the tree without a problem though, and then I slowly slipped down the branch, my feet settling on a lower branch. I hugged the trunk as I steadied myself, taking a steadying breath before slipping onto another lower branch and dropping down to the ground easily.

Piece of cake, I thought as I looked at the old tree. I just hoped it wouldn't turn into a habit. I then slipped around the backyard and opened the garage doors, getting into my car. I turned on the engine and the digital clocked stared back at me. It was eight twenty, so I had plenty of time to get to Jacob's. I paused and listened for a minute, waiting to hear the sound of the back door opening, but there wasn't any sound other than the gently rumbling engine. My Dad was watching a motocross race tonight, so he probably wouldn't even notice I was gone, still, I kept my headlights off until I turned off of my street.

Mission accomplished.

Jacob was already outside when I pulled up, he jogged over to the car and got in."I see you stuck to your word,"He said, smiling a little.

"Why wouldn't I?"I asked easily, though he didn't even know my situation right now. I could have laughed at my casual tone.

We then set off, going to the cliffs, right between the beach and the woods. We pulled up into the gravel drive silently, there was only one other car parked there, Quil's truck. I could see light up ahead and voices and laughter after I turned off the engine.

Jake and I got out of the car, Embry and Quil came into sight, their gazes going to the car.

"Sick!"Quil said, jogging over, Embry followed him.

"It looks awesome,"Embry said, grinning.

"Thanks,"I smiled,"Just finished painting it this morning."

"Hey, how come Jake gets to ride shotgun and yet I'm your cousin and I haven't even _been_ in the car yet?"Quil asked, frowning a little.

"Because Jake helped me out with the car,"I replied, smiling,"You'll be able to go for a ride in it soon."

"I have to say that Taj's car puts your truck to shame Quil,"Embry said, grinning deviously.

Quil punched him in the arm,"Well _I'm sorry _we can't all have fancy race cars. My truck could probably just run your car over anyways."

"Yeah, if you could catch up to me first,"I grinned.

Quil grumbled something but we all walked over to the flat of the cliff. There was a large fire pit set up and the flames licked at the logs that had been put out, every so often they'd crackle and pop, sending firefly sparks into the dark air. The group was there, sitting on logs circling the fire or standing and talking. I could easily pick everyone out now, Leah, Paul, Sam, Jared, Lisa..

"The two boys gavoning the marshmallows are Collin and Seth, they're nice, but I wouldn't trust leaving even a cracker alone with them,"Jake told me,"And the girl with Sam is Emily. Just, try not to stare."

I looked at him quizzically but he didn't meet my gaze, but when I looked over at the girl sitting with Sam I understood what he meant. She was a really pretty girl, with a kind face and shining black hair, but when she turned her face to listen to something Embry was saying I felt shock jump over my heart. There was a long scar running down her face, from her eye to the corner of her lip, pulling it down in a permanent scowl, marking her pretty face.

"What happened to her?"I asked without thinking after a moment.

"She was attacked by a bear,"Jake answered me quietly, gently touching my shoulder.

I frowned a little to myself, Emily had been extremely lucky, I could only imagine how scary that must have been, and then to wake up in the hospital with a constant reminder. I shuddered a little.

"Hey!"Leah said, walking over, she looked at me and smiled,"I'm glad you could make it, haven't seen you around too much lately."

"Same,"I said, nodding,"I've been busy with the car, but it's done now, so I won't be a hermit anymore"

Leah laughed,"Good,"She said nodding.

The rest of the night continued placidly, Sam only looked over at me once and the two of us said hello, talking for a few moments. He gave Jacob an odd look though when he thought I wasn't looking, and I wondered what was going on, feeling like I still didn't quite belong in the group. I tried not to let it bother me though, it wasn't like I'd be able to see much of anyone from now on anyways. The thought killed me though as I hung out with everyone, falling in with their joking nature. I guess I could sneak out sometimes to see Jacob and Leah, and I'd still see Quil, since he was family. But I didn't like the idea of disobeying my mom, I had promised myself I wouldn't hurt her again, and I wasn't going to go back on it anytime soon. I felt like I was stuck at a fork in the road, but the two choices had more negative consequences than positive. How could you pick between one bad choice and the other?

I tried my best to put the thoughts out of my mind though, wanting to enjoy the evening. I listened to the conversations carefully though too, trying to find anything out, but there was nothing out of the ordinary, just everyone in their usual fun-loving nature. I wondered how they could be considered dangerous.

It must have been near ten when Jake gently pulled me back,"I want to show you something." He had been following me nearly the whole time, almost like my shadow. I appreciated the gesture, but wondered why he was hovering over me.

"Okay,"I said looking at him quizzically, but he only smiled at me calmly before taking my hand and leading me away from the group, towards the beach. Moonlight fell on the sand, making it seem almost translucent, and it reflect off of the black water as waves crashed rhythmically on the sandy shore, lulling into eternity. It was even cooler down on the beach, a constant, but gentle breeze stole what warmth I had gained from the fire, and I pulled my jacket closer to me.

"Aren't you cold?"I asked Jake as he sat down on a rock, letting his long legs dangle. He was wearing a sleeveless.

"No, are you?"He asked me curiously as I sat down near him.

"Sort of,"I shrugged nonchalantly.

He moved closer to me then, warmth coming off of him in comforting waves. He was so weird. I felt my heart rate quicken slightly as he did this though, but I wasn't sure why.

"Now, I'm sure this is something you've never seen in Seattle,"Jake said, smiling in the darkness,"Look up."

And so I did, but the gesture left me breathless. The few stars that I had seen earlier on the roof were nothing compared to the celestial mural I was looking up at now. Stars by the millions looked back down at me, glinting like diamond lanterns, I'd never seen so many in all of my life, the half crescent moon gleamed down as well. The view only added to the reasons why I liked Forks. I had never had the chance to see so many stars in Seattle, because of all the city lights, of course.

"Wow,"I said softly,"You're right, this is something I've never seen before. Um, thanks."

Jake nodded silently, looking up at the sky as well, and a comfortable silence settled between us, I wished Mel was here to see this. It was funny how the most simple of things could be so highly appreciated.

"You know, I never would have though you were a Leo when I first met you,"Jake said calmly.

I looked at him, laughing a little,"What did you think I was more along the lines of?"I asked, a little curious.

"Scorpio,"Jake answered.

"Gee, thanks,"I said sarcastically.

He laughed a little,"Hey, I'm sure you thought the same about me."

I nodded slowly,"Guilty as charged,"I admitted, remembering, I looked over at him again,"You know something I don't get though?"

He met my eyes,grinning"What's that?"

"Why did you challenge me to that race? You could have just stopped talking to me, unless it was some macho thing to shut me up,"I said calmly, as I laid back on the cool, but slightly uncomfortable rock, gazing up at the stars,"You can be honest."

He looked at me for a long moment, his dark gaze unreadable before he looked away, out at the ocean.

"I wasn't sure of how to get your attention,"He said slowly, his tone was serious, so I knew he wasn't joking.

The conversation fell on an awkward note, and I felt my heart skip a beat. I was at a loss for words momentarily, wondering what he meant, but at the same time somehow knowing. But I didn't want things to end this way, I wanted to keep up our bantering nature, our seemingly reckless youth. I didn't want things to change or ask the automatic question that came after that sentence. So I searched in my head frantically for something else that would suffice, and found it.

"Well you certainly kept Bella Swan's attention,"I commented lightly, but I immediately found out it was the wrong thing to say.

His head whipped around, looking down at me, his expression hurt and yet at the same almost dangerous in the dark, I felt my stomach drop,"How do you know her?"He asked accusingly.

I swallowed and answered hesitantly,"I saw her in the mall with Mel last weekend, it was really odd. She came up to me and knew who I was, she asked about you, saying that you'd told her about me."

Jake snorted a little, seeming aggravated, he turned away from me, a hostile silence settling between us.

I sat up slowly, feeling a little hurt, and even worse that I had upset him.

"I'm sorry,"I told him, meaning it,"..Was she a friend of yours?"

"It's okay,"Jake said, rubbing his hand over his face,"You didn't know. But yeah, she was a friend, more and less."

I hesitated a little at his answer, understanding. So they _had_ been more than friends. Mel had been right, though I had doubted it, Mel had been right. _Now_ I was wrong, great. I thought about Bella's beautiful face and felt a little put out by her, if Jake had gone out with her, there was no competition, but I wasn't quite sure why I cared. Jake and I were just friends, that's all we could be.

I tried to cheer him up,"Well she doesn't know what she's missing."

Jake didn't look at me, his voice flat,"Do you really mean that?"

I looked over at him,"Are you kidding? Of course I do! You're trustworthy, funny, kind. You're the nicest guy I've ever met Jake, and I consider you my best friend. If some girl can't realize that, then she's not worth it. I know dozens of girl that would be clamoring for your attention."

..Was I one of them?

Jake slowly turned to look at me, his dark eyes on mine again, he wasn't convinced,"You'd probably do the same if you were in her situation."

I frowned a little at him,"Jacob Black, you don't even know me,"I said, I had meant every word I'd said and more,"I would never do anything to purposely hurt you.."I said hesitating, but continuing,"All I care about is that you're happy."

Well it was too late now, I couldn't take back what I'd said, and I was waiting for him to laugh it all off, to call me mushy and then we'd head back to the cliff and finish off the evening with everyone. One last night with my best friend.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that, Taj Williams,"He said, looking at me calmly, but his expression was hard to read in the dark.

Well, it certainly hadn't been an answer I was expecting, it caught me completely off guard.

"Why's that?"I asked curiously, and for some odd reason, my heart was hammering in my chest. It was even worse than when I'd be starting a race, there was a different thrill here, no adrenaline, it was fear, but for what I didn't know.

"Because I'm happiest when I'm with you,"He said softly, his voice velvet as he leaned closer to me, his one hand rest softly on my cheek, his warm fingers stroking softly. His lips were only moments away from mine now, and I was intoxicated, frozen into place by this devious boy. And I felt the same as I had on the motorcycle, trapped but wanting to run away, and at the same time wanting to stay, a confusing mix of emotions that blended together. But all of this felt right, completely natural, but this was something I couldn't have. I was fully aware of this, and I didn't want to ruin the night, but it had been ruined from when Jake had asked me to go with him. The night had been fixed, so I'd might as well throw in my own monkey wrench when I had the chance, because this was something I couldn't have, and if it was given to me, I wouldn't be able to give it up, and having it pulled away from me would only hurt more.

"Jake.."I said hesitantly, pulling myself from the dream, wanting to tell him everything that was going on, needing to know. I needed something business-like and structured, a cool splash of water to wake us both up. This was my only chance.

Thankfully, he stopped, his dark eyes focusing on my blue ones. The warm eyes that I knew so well by now. I could have stayed like that forever.

But before I could ask a loud, piercing howl echoed across the landscape, bouncing off the cliffs and rolling down the beach. It had been a wolf's howl, but I'd never heard one before, and it seemed a little loud. Maybe it was just because of the echo. I wasn't afraid of a wolf, the noise had just startled me. A chill raced through me and within the blink of an eye Jacob had moved away from me.

"I have to go,"He said suddenly, scrambling off the rock,"I'll call you."He said, his regretting gaze meeting mine, and then he quickly ran off, faster than I would have ever thought.

Well, it hadn't been _quite_ the wake up I'd been looking for and it had stolen my chance with Jacob. Great, now I was right back to where I'd started. I sighed a little, sitting in silence for a few moments, letting the cool breeze clear my head, my heartbeat was calming now. Almost normal.

Jacob's expression had scared me though, worse than that calm expression he put on sometimes. Because it had been pure fear, something I'd never seen on Jacob's face before, but there was determination there as well, like a soldier going off to war. I wondered why he had left so suddenly, and I thought about going after him to make sure everything was alright. It probably wouldn't help either of us though. Maybe he had left because he thought he'd made a mistake by trying to kiss me. This though made my heart drop but my mind calm. Well, hopefully things would be settled when he called me, though I wasn't sure about what I was going to say. The moment had been in my grasp, inches from my fingertips, and it had been jerked away. One way or another, I was going to find out what was going on though. But a small part of me didn't want to know now, part of me was scared, thinking about Jacob's expression. ..What if it _was_ something I was better off not knowing? No..I had to know the truth. I couldn't just keep wondering for the rest of my life, just throw away the friendships I'd made, it wouldn't be worth it. It would be something I'd regret for the rest of my life. Thus, I was both dreading and looking forward to the inevitable phone call from Jacob Black.


	11. Chapter 11: Predator

11.Predator

It was difficult to push away my thoughts as I ran back towards the cliffs, stopping for a moment to change. But since my heart rate was up, still hammering in my chest, the change came easily, my whole body shaking, the similar sensation of fire racing down my back. But this was a willing change, something I didn't want to hold back, and the filling red blocked my eyes momentarily and the fire built inside me, like logs being added to the furnace, and when the red faded I saw the world through different eyes, slightly blurred at the edges, like I was looking through a glass dome. Well, that's what you get with wolf vision.

I hadn't stopped a beat though, I was running again, picking up speed as I went along, racing past the bonfire area, the fire still crackling, flames licking at the charred logs, but the area was deserted. A few shirts were even left on the ground, along with randomly tossed sneakers. Something was definitely wrong. I thought about Sam's call and I picked up my pace even more as I raced into the dark woods, feeling branches whipping past and the damp soil under my paws as my muscles moved in harmony; the world an ongoing dark blur.

_Hurry,_ it was Embry, I could see the group, all changed, except for Emily and Lisa, gathered around something. At least no one was hurt.

_I'll be there soon._

This whole cell-phone thing had it's advantages sometimes, I'd admit that much. Then I caught the scent and wrinkled my nose in disgust, it was overly sweet, almost biting, and I picked up my pace even more, almost skidding to a halt as I came up to the group. The smell was more pungent here, along with the metallic scent of blood.

_It's a body_, I thought to myself.

No one turned to look at me except Emily, she gave me a small smile, but her expression was a little pale. I tried to return the gesture and walked over, standing in-between Quil and Sam.

And, in the center of the circle, was the body of a teenage girl, the moonlight fell on her pale skin, her shining black hair tousled. She didn't look like she had suffered a painful death, almost as if she hadn't even seen it coming. She was looking over to the side, her stare now forever blank, her pale lips parted a little. Perhaps a look of shock before the kill, too quick to react. Her neck was bent at an odd angle, probably broken, and there was a long cut on her arm, bleeding freely now. Here was a daughter that would never come home, a friend that would never show up to school again. Here was the end of a life, of dreams, of hope. I thought of Taj and a snarl built up in my throat.

_Parasites._

Only Embry and Seth looked over at me when I started growling, their gazes unreadable, but they probably understood anyways.

_Yes, this was definitely them_. _She was one of the missing people_, Sam thought, breaking through everyone's jumbling thoughts, stopping the mild buzzing they were all creating in the back of my head.

_There's no bite mark though_, He continued, _She must have caught our scent and taken off._

She, yes she. The scent was definitely femaleand I didn't have to ask what had happened, because I could see it through everyone's eyes. The parasite's scent had carried downwind, right to the cliff, and when they were sure of the scent, they had taken off. They hadn't seen the bloodsucker, just found the body, and that was reason enough to stop. Paul, Leah, and Quil had taken off to follow the trail though, see if they could at least find the direction in which the bloodsucker had come from.

But there was only one definite idea that everyone had in their heads including myself, though I didn't want to assume _they_ were behind this. Because if they were, there was only one probable female to mess up. No..it couldn't be her, it was a new one that they had taken in. It must have been. It _had_ to be. Or even one that was just passing through.

We didn't have any definite answers yet though, so I tried my best to stay calm. Either way, this meant nothing good for Forks, now we knew the story behind the missing people. Unfortunately. My thoughts jumped to Taj again and I was suddenly nervous, suddenly I wanted to leave and make sure she had gotten home okay, I wanted to be with her, to protect her. I shuffled uneasily on the spot.

_Well, maybe if you hadn't been off making kissy-face, we wouldn't have spent time looking for you and we'd be catching up to this parasite by now_, Paul snapped, his thought suddenly shattering my own. My eyes narrowed and I growled.

_Will you mind your own business please? _I thought defensively, he was right though, if I had been back at the cliffs, we'd probably have a better chance of catching the parasite..but part of me was glad I wasn't there, in fear of who it could be.

_I can't help it if you think too loudly,_ Paul rallied.

He was so lucky he wasn't here right now.

_It doesn't matter anyways, I've lost the scent_, Leah thought suddenly, interjecting our jibes.

Sam's ear perked up,_ Really?_

_Yeah, I've lost it too_, Quil thought.

_It just..stops_, Paul thought in disbelief.

_Like Joe McCartney's scent! _Embry thought suddenly.

_Where are you? _I asked, and once again I could see through their eyes, up on a sort of hill, just coming into a clearing in-between the trees.

_Too far away from anyplace significant to pick a definite direction, _Leah replied.

_This can't mean anything good, everyone head back here, we need to figure out what we're going to do, _Sam thought, taking authority

He was right, if this scent fading thing was going to become a habit, we were at an extreme disadvantage. We would have to be everywhere at all times if we were going to catch this thing, which wasn't even remotely possible. I felt a little relieved though, if they were out in the middle of nowhere, it meant that the Cullens couldn't be held responsible, at least, for now.

Leah, Quil and Paul came trotting up a few moments later, taking their places in the circle.

Quil seemed a little abashed though, and he kept staring at me, looking like he was ready to rip my throat out.

_What's your problem? _I asked, my ears flicking back.

_I don't want you near her_, Quil replied, his eyes not leaving mine, _Especially not after this._

_Who? Taj?_ I replied, _Since when did you become so protective?_

Quil growled, stepping towards me, his fur was standing on end, his head lowered, _Since we started finding dead bodies, Jake! I don't want my cousin involved with this, with us. She won't be safe anymore._

I growled a little in reply, _She isn't safe either way, nobody is. This isn't something that I can help!_

I was surprised at Quil's behavior, seeing him this angry, I had taken a defensive stance without thinking, lowering my head a little as well, my ears pointed to the sides. He was my best friend, I didn't want to be fighting with him over this, not now. Everyone was watching us silently, a little shocked. Quil had never lashed out like this before.

_What are you talking about? _Quil's thoughts as fierce as his snarl, he stepped towards me, his lips pulled back to show his glistening white teeth, _You said you didn't like her._

I growled in warningbut didn't reply to his snarl, I didn't want to get in a fight with Quil_,..I wasn't sure then, _I replied, my thoughts hesitant as I thought about Taj earlier, remembering her bright icy-blue eyes, the way her face had calmed as I had leaned closer to her. She had wanted it too, I could just tell, but she had stopped me, said my name. Why? If only I'd had two more seconds, if Sam hadn't called. I hadn't wanted to leave her, to run off like that. What was I going to tell her? I hoped she had gotten home okay..

Quil jumped towards me, snapping his jaws close to my face. I scampered back quickly, lowering myself more.

_Stop thinking about her like that! You can't have her! I don't want this for her. You weren't even allowed to invite her here tonight! What were you thinking, Jake?_

That was when I'd had enough, Quil couldn't boss me around. He didn't have any right to treat me likes this. And he couldn't talk about Taj like that either. I stood to my full height, glaring at Quil, ready to reply when Sam jumped between us, snarling.

_Both of you knock it off!_ His snarl lowered to a threatening growl as his eyes darted from me to Quil, _We have other matters to worry about right now._

Quil backed off, taking his place back in the circle, but he still glared at me reproachfully. I stood quietly, waiting for Sam to continue as he stepped back.

_We'll need to have constant watch, thankfully the pack is big enough so we won't be pulling all-nighters,_ Sam thought, _We'll have to distribute posts by groups, we'll need three people in Forks, two people in La Push, and two for the outer territory._

_Why are we even bothering with this? _Paul snapped suddenly_, If we go to the parasites place right now, I bet we'll find them washing the blood off of their hands. It'll only take us twenty minutes or so to run over there, and with eleven of us, it'll be difficult for them to hold us off._

My gaze shot to Paul, ready to leap at him and make him eat his words, thinking about her. I was already on edge about Quil and Taj, did we really have to have Bella involved too? Couldn't one problem be enough? But Paul had a point, if it was a newborn, it was most likely the coven's doing. Unless, hopefully, the thing had just wandered here. Still, the last thing I wanted right now was to go charging up to that house.

_We don't have any definite leads Paul, so drop your theory for a little while, will you? _Leah thought coolly, getting to the reply before me.

_Still, we should keep an eye on them _Jared thought.

Sam looked at me, but nodded in agreement_, There may not be definite evidence, but they're still suspects by nature. We'll need to have someone watching over the house, but they'll have to keep downwind. It'll be risky, but if we see a new one leaving the house, it'll be our best bet._

I could only picture one 'new one' leaving that house, my stomach dropped uneasily. But, we needed to take appropriate precautions..I just hoped she wasn't there.

Sam continued,_ If it is a young parasite, it'll be more careless and prefer human blood. We'll need to keep a careful watch over the town. Hopefully this will give them away._

_So who's going to watch over Forks? _Quil asked, but was looking at me.

I stared at him silently, I could understand why he was upset, but could he lay off? It wasn't like he didn't understand.

_You, Leah_,_ and Embry_, Sam answered amicably, though he was watching Quil carefully, _Jared and Paul will watch over La Push, and Collin and Seth, you two can watch over the outer territory, I'll watch over the house. If anyone sees anything, let us know, and we'll respond. We'll start tonight, if that works for everyone.._

He looked over at Quil and Paulpointedly.

Without another word, the group separated, going their separate ways. Once again there was just the sound of the crickets, and in the distance the crashing waves, I thought about how the night had started out and sighed. Emily offered to drive Lisa home and the two of them left quickly, leaving just Sam and I. I know he had done this purposely, wanting to talk to me. He sat quietly, looking over the body. The scene would have looked frightening to anyone else.

He looked over at me slowly, _Before anything else happens, I need you to establish something for me._

His thoughts were as calm as his voice would have been. I had seen this coming from a mile away, but I still didn't want to discuss it. I sat down as well, curling my tail near my legs, not looking at Sam. I looked at the girl again and I thought about Bella, thinking about her dark hair and bright eyes, the way they looked when she smiled; the way she looked when she saw me.

I had thought for sure it was love, and I was right, to a certain extent. But her face was different when she saw him, it was idolization, loyalty. And no matter how many times I saw Bella, she had never looked at me the same way. This made me more jealous than you could imagine, he was a _killer_, for crying out loud. But, I guess I could understand that she loved him. Exactly why, I still wasn't sure, but I could accept it, for the most part.

Because parasite or not, Bella was still my friend, and she always would be. And as her friend, I would accept who she cared about.

There was another reason why I didn't want to see her again though, other than the fact that she might have been the one to..was the one behind the missing people, even if she had asked about me.It was because..I was afraid she wouldn't look at me the same way again, that my Bella wouldn't be looking at me through the new, pretty eyes. That I wouldn't be able to see the love, the recognition in her eyes when she looked at me anymore, that I wouldn't be different anymore. It hadn't been the look she gave _him_, but it had still been just for me, it had been enough. I know it shouldn't have made a difference, that the two of us both knew we couldn't be anyways, that she didn't feel the same way about me. I know I was selfish, but I couldn't help it. What if the Bella I knew was gone? What if when I saw her, there was just a blank creature staring back at me?

Not being able to have Bella had been painful, but not being able to see _her_ again would be hell.

I remember the last time I had saw her, it had been on the night of the wedding. I had decided to go, wanting to be there for her. But I hadn't gone inside with her family or with the bloodsuckers, I just wanted to see her, no one else. One last time before she would be gone..both ways. One last selfish moment for myself.

I had dressed up for the occasion and climbed up a tree near the window of her dressing room, still doubtful on whether I had made the right choice or not. It had been tough for me, deciding to go, but I really did want to see her, and this would be my last chance. Thankfully she had been alone, looking over herself in the mirror, her back was towards me, but I already knew she would look amazing in the white dress and her veil, though I regretfully wished she was wearing anything else; Bella always looked amazing, no matter what she wore.

I tapped on the window and she turned around, a little shocked at first, but a grin replaced her pretty features as she walked over and opened the window, letting me in. I leaped lightly into the room and just took a moment to look at her. She looked even better than amazing, more than beautiful. The dress was old fashioned, but it suited her even more. I gave her a small smile, really glad of my decision. I looked in her eyes and felt relieved, despite the dress, despite everything that had happened, I could still find the same Bella there, who had rode the motorcycles with me back at La Push, who was my best friend and yet would always be something more. I could still see the love in her eyes, and, as selfish as I was, that was the best of all.

"Hey,"I said, breaking the silence.

"I'm glad you came,"She said hesitantly, her smile calming, but still there, she gently took my hand,"But how did you..?"

"Edward, sent me an invitation,"I said, making sure I'd said his name,"He wanted me to have a choice, and I made the right one."

She smiled again, this felt awkward, almost formal. Too much like good bye.

"You look amazing,"I told her, trying to find something sufficient to say.

"Thanks,"She said, laughing a little,"Alice.."

"..set this all up,"I said, nodding,"I figured."

"I had to see you again,"I told her,"Before.."

She nodded,"I understand, I'm glad you did. I missed you."

"I missed you too,"I admitted, smiling.

She looked down at her wrist, and I noticed she was still wearing the bracelet I had given her, along with another charm. But I was glad she was still wearing it.

"Jake..promise me something,"She said slowly.

"Anything,"I said automatically, moving a few strands of hair from her face. Old habits die hard.

"That we'll still be friends,"Bella said slowly, her worried gaze meeting mine,"No matter what happens."

I was quiet for a minute, looking at her, wanting to remember her this way, wanting to remember her as I knew her, no matter what happened. I thought about what she would become, a bloodthirsty parasite, always hungry, and I couldn't picture it. I would always know Bella this way, the same girl I had met when she'd first moved to Forks.

"Of course we'll always be friends Bella,"I said, gently squeezing her hand, assuaging her concern,"Best friends."

Her smile returned slowly,"Thanks, Jacob,"She gently touched my cheek,"You're going to find someone amazing."

"I already did,"I grinned as I told her.

She grinned, shaking her head a little and laughed. Just like she used to.

Then there was a knock on the door and I gave her a small wave, leaving through the window before she could say anything else, before I made the decision to stay longer or say something I might regret. I had been selfish enough, a few minutes would be enough.

_How do you feel about Taj? _Sam asked, his thought pulling me away from mine.

_I..I don't know_, I answered, my thoughts confused, mixed; jumbled. Sam only watched me in silence, not asking me more.

This wasn't fair! How come she could go off with that parasite and leave me but I couldn't move on? Why did I feel like I was.._betraying_ her? We both knew we couldn't be anything more than friends, especially now, so why was I still loyal? It wasn't even so much because I cared about Bella..it was because..because I was afraid that Taj wouldn't accept me. Because once you imprinted on someone, you were stuck on them. And if I had imprinted on Taj and she didn't feel the same way, then I would be stuck on her for the rest of my life, it would be like loving Bella again, but worse. It was hard for someone to deny imprinting, but there was still a chance, and Taj was different.

And, ironically, it was something I feared, but something I loved. There was just something about Taj that made her stand out from Bella. As being part wolf, the pack could just sense certain personality traits when we first met someone, kind of like when a dog senses fear, I guess. With Taj it had changed nearly every time when I had started hanging out with her, at first it had been hostile defensiveness, almost challenging, and that had made me put up my guard as well. Then, when I had gone to her house, it had changed to hesitation, fear, and it had made me wary too. And when we were friends, it was acceptance, languid trust. It had almost come off as a process of her getting used to me, the way a pack gets used to a new member. And that was what partially made me wonder if Taj really was one of us, even though she hadn't acted this way purposely.

One sign, one trait had remained constant though, and it wasn't in her body language, it was just..in the air _around_ her, and I recognized it because it was a part of me as well, a part of me that I didn't really have anymore. It was an upbeat recklessness, an untamable part of her that simply lived for the thrill, thrived on adrenaline and good times. And, in a sense, it was innocence of _being_ untamed. It had been dormant in her at first, and that was what had made me doubtful, wondering if it was too far gone. But I wanted to try to bring it back, and I had. And in doing so, I guess that I'd sort of brought Taj back too..along with myself. Spending time with Taj was different than when I'd spent time with Bella. When I had been with Bella there had always been some slight tension, whether it had been when I'd changed, or with the whole parasite controversy, I had still liked spending time with her, it helped me forget about other things going on. And she just made me feel happier. But with Taj, it felt like I had a fresh start with her, like nothing had ever happened, there had been no change, but now I realized that it was even more than that..it was almost like she was the other half of me. She was what I used to be, reckless, taking things a day at a time..but innocent. So, I guess in helping Taj, she had helped me, too. And when I had been with Bella, I had just wanted her to feel the same about me, and she had, to a certain extent, but with Taj..I just wanted to see her smile. It just felt right being with her. And I knew, that deep down, I'd do anything to protect her, to make her happy, that she was my imprint...that I was in love with Taj Williams.

_I..I do love her, Sam_,I finally _thought,Just..when I'm with her..everything feels..right. Like she's.._

_Your other half_, Sam finished, watching me.

_I can't stay with her though, can I? _I asked, already knowing the answer.

_It's your choice, Jake_, Sam replied, _I can't tell you what to do, and neither can Quil, but I'm sure you understand why he's upset._

_He doesn't want her hurt, _I stated, already knowing,_ But I wouldn't let that happen to her._

_What if there was an accident though Jake, would you be willing to live with that for the rest of your life? _Sam asked calmly, _And what about this parasite? You did take a risk by bringing her to the bonfire tonight. Once you tell her about us, she'll be bound to us. You know she won't back down if there's danger involved. Do you want that for her?_

I didn't reply for a few minutes, thinking over what he had said.He was right, if I _did_ tell Taj, she wouldn't back down from helping me, that is, _if_ she believed me, accepted me as I was. I tried to picture her face when I told her, it would be of shock of course..maybe even of horror, maybe she'd think of me as a monster from now on._ She might not even talk to me anymore, and I hated the thought of that._ And if she did believe me and she wasn't a werewolf..it might not be the same between us, she would know me differently then she had before, and that was something I didn't want to have taken away. And what if one day I did hurt her, or we ran into the parasite?

I looked at the body, not being able to picture Taj looking back at me. And if I told her, it might get rid of her innocence, she would be more serious, more cautious, like the pack. And then of course, there was Quil, I thought of how angry he had been. I didn't want to fight with him.

.This wasn't fair! I finally found someone and I couldn't have her!..I wanted her, more than anything, to be a werewolf. So the two of us could be on the same level, so she could know how I felt. ..So we could be together. It was a selfish thought, but I was a selfish guy, what can I say?

But there was only so much of a chance of that happening, the full moon was a little less than a week from now. The best choice I knew right now, would to go with the tactic I'd had before..to stop talking to her. I had gone earlier to tell her that I couldn't hang out with her anymore actually, I thought it was going to be easy..but when she had looked at me..

I had had to see her again. How could he ask me to leave her? So, I had invited her to the bonfire, not caring. ..But this brought things into better perspective. This was what could happen, and I wasn't going to risk it. This had been my last night with Taj. ..But it wasn't enough. One night would never be enough.

_You're right..I don't want this for her,_I thought, looking at Sam,_ I won't risk her getting hurt. It's just.._

Sam was quiet, but I knew he understood.

_..Can I go watch..?_I started, but he beat me to it.

_Go ahead, _Sam nodded.

Without another word I turned away from the body and Sam and bounded off into the woods, going to spend the night watching over Taj William's house, a place I wouldn't be allowed to set foot in ever again.


	12. Chapter 12: Hybrid Theory

12.Hybrid Theory

"I don't understand why you can't just tell me,"I said, throwing up my hands in frustration. I was in the front yard with my Mom, she was taking advantage of the early morning sunshine, perfectly golden, to work on the mums and tulips that lined the porch, pulling up weeds. It had been the morning after the night of the bonfire, and I'd hardly slept the whole night, not even bothering to try after I slipped in the house unnoticed at eleven thirty. A few years ago I would have been almost proud that I'd been able to get inside so easily, so unnoticed. But that night I'd gone home in a daze, my mind spinning with thoughts, and not being able to dismiss the one person that occupied them.

I hadn't forgotten about the talk with my Mom though, I had even been waiting for it, wanting to have another chance to get some answers. I might have been overtired, which made me less patient. And I had decided to initially apologize for my actions, but things weren't working out well. After questioning her once again why I couldn't see Jacob, she'd simply answered the same.

"It just isn't my business to say, Taj,"She said firmly, meaning to close the subject, pulling up another weed and putting it in the basket of conquered weeds next to her.

"So..let me get this straight,"I said cooly, frowning as I leaned against the post,"I can't hang out with him, and you're not even giving me a reason _why_. He's my friend, Mom, and you're not giving me any reason to doubt his trust."

"Taj, there are just some things that you're not ready to understand,"My Mother stated patiently, as she stood up, looking at me as she brushed the dirt off her jeans, the way you'd state something to a five year old.

My frustration flared,"I'm seventeen! What are you talking about? The only thing I don't understand is why you're being this way."

My Mom shrugged,"I still stand by what I said."

I thought about the night before, about Jake running off, about everything my Mom and Naomi had said on the phone. None of this was fair! I felt the way I had when Sam had been looking at me at the beach, like I was only a guise, that I didn't really fit in, and something was being kept from me. And once again my Mom was hovering over me, choking the leash too tight, like she was afraid I might be tempted to bite again, despite my parish. And finally, once I'd found someone other than Mel that I could be myself around, that I could learn to make friends with again..that was, just as reckless as I was..I wasn't allowed to see anymore. The group I felt like I fit in with, that didn't look at me differently or fell silent when I came over, that made me feel like a monster, I wasn't allowed to be around anymore. I was being a child, I know, but I was being treated like one; so, when in Rome..

"I don't care anymore! I'm so tired of being treated like a kid, it's been like this ever since Eric died. I'm sorry, okay?!"I cried, taking a breath, my Mom's face turned swallow, her eyes widening a little with shock. But I continued before she could speak.

"I just..I finally feel okay again with other kids, I found some people that I fit in with, and I can't see them anymore just because you said so. Well, I'm still going to talk to Jacob. He's a good guy Mom, and if you can't see that, then that's not my fault,"And then I ran up the steps and into the house, but she hadn't done what she usually did, come after me, ordering me to finish talking with her, like any parent would do. She had simply watched me go, watched me storm away like an eight year old.

That had bothered me the most.

The discussion with my Mom had been four days ago, though. And I'd waited for Jake to call, wanting to hear the smile in his voice, to find out the next time we'd be hanging out, for him to explain what had happened..and I'd waited..and waited..And after three days, he still hadn't called. I'd felt like some pathetic, love-struck girl, waiting by the phone, but to no avail. It bothered me that he could have that kind of power over me, and it only worsened the already bummed mood I was in. So, I'd tried calling him, and Billy had answered, saying he was out. I was beginning to get the feeling that Jake was avoiding me. Maybe he was different than what I'd thought, and he'd simply been using me, that he didn't want commitment. It was hard to believe, and I didn't want to think that way, but _why hadn't he called? _There was the possibility that my Mom had talked to Billy. But would that really stop Jacob from seeing me if he wanted to? ..Maybe being on his own had given him time to think over his decision, and he'd decided..well... Just, I had to talk to him. About what had happened, what was going on..about us. If we could only be friends, then I'd understand. I just wish he hadn't decided to avoid me at all costs. Because his friendship was important to me..yeah, things might be awkward at first, but they'd be normal soon enough. Jacob was worth it. It made me question why my Mom had acted that way too, why she hadn't come after me, maybe she had already known that Jacob wouldn't call me..that she _had_ said something.

I hadn't been in the best of moods the past few days, annoyed with Jacob, my mom, and myself as well, for acting so predictably. Being cooped up in the house didn't help either. Conversations with my Mom had been strained, and it upset me, but I wasn't upset enough to say sorry. She wasn't right, I did have the right to know, to a certain extent. But this silence wasn't helping me get any answers.

"Taj, _come on! _You've never watched the weather, and why start now?"Kyle said, annoyed,"Just look out the window!"

I had been curled up on the couch in the living room, watching the weather but not really paying attention to it for the past forty-five minutes. For Forks it said what it always did, over-cast with a chance of rain, which it was doing so right now. It was only six in the afternoon, but already the sky was already ominously dark, it had been raining on and off the whole day. Kyle had invited Quil over to catch a baseball game on t.v. and I hadn't been listening to Kyle's protests.

"Take a chill pill,"I said, tossing him the remote to shut him up.

"You're just annoyed because your _boyfriend_ hasn't called you back,"Kyle sneered, plopping down next to me, switching to the game.

I knew he was just filling his position as an annoying younger brother, that he didn't really mean what he had said, but I wasn't in a giving mood andI had begun to reach over for a pillow, wanting to sock him a good one in the side of the..

"They aren't going out,"Quil said from the recliner, he was watching the game, but the tone of his voice caused both Kyle and I to look over at him. I was a little surprised, Quil had seemed a little off when he had first come over, and usually he would join in the fun of antagonizing me, a favorite past time of him and Kyle's.

I quirked an eyebrow, deciding to test something out.

"How would you feel if I was, hypothetically, going out with Jake?"I asked slowly, carefully watching Quil's expression.

He stretched, still not looking at me, saying simply,"But you're not, either way, so it doesn't matter."

Was he opposed to Jacob and I hanging out too? But, they were best friends, unless Quil was letting his protective instincts take over.

"Can you believe my Mom won't let me hang out with you guys?"I tried again..

Kyle looked at me pointedly, I was interrupting his valuable game time.

Quil didn't seem bothered by it at all though, he shrugged,"It's her choice."

"It doesn't _bother_ you that she doesn't trust me hanging out with you guys anymore?"I asked, sitting up more. Quil had never been so..well, uncaring when it came to stuff like this before. Usually he was quick to get involved, ready to stand up for me. Something was definitely up.

"It isn't me that your Mom doesn't trust, Taj,"Quil said, finally glancing over at me, his expression calm. Ugh, I_ hated_ that look!

I knew what he was getting that though, and most specifically.

"But they're your _friends_, they haven't done anything wrong,"I pointed out. At least, that I knew of.

Quil didn't even take the bait,"That's between your mom and them, not me."

I frowned, appalled,"What's with you? Does this have to do with Jacob?"

He was quiet, watching the game, not answering me. I decided to prod him.

"This has to do with me and him, doesn't-"

Quil was getting tired of the subject,"If you must know, Taj,"He said, aggravated, his gaze cold as he looked at me,"I don't really want Jacob around you either."

"Why?"I asked, standing up,"He's your best friend, why are you suddenly acting like this? It's stupid, he hasn't even called me in the past four days, so you have..Wait, you haven't _done_ anything have you?"

What if Quil had decided to 'talk' to Jacob? Quil could be hard headed, and I was immediately angry with him, too. Jake was his best friend, so they shouldn't be fighting, and I could take care of myself, I didn't need Quil watching over me.

"No!"Quil said, looking at me disapprovingly,"I just don't think he's right for you Taj, and if he hasn't called you, maybe you should move on,"He snapped.

His words stung me, but I wasn't going to give up without a fight, or a good verbal comeback,"Good, you better not have done anything. And how would you know what's good for me? You're not my Mom, Quil, she's already been on me about this, I don't need you hovering over me too. And I don't understand how you could trash your best friend like that, it's ridiculous. Maybe Jake doesn't like me, but that doesn't mean I don't want to stop being friends with him. And don't get into this whole 'you don't understand' crap, because no one is giving me _answers_ to understand. Maybe you'd like to enlighten me."

My tone had become cutting and smooth, but I'd meant every word I'd said, and I was outraged with Quil. The two of us rarely argued, but I couldn't believe he was annoyed with his best friend, agreeing with what my Mom said. And I still didn't know what was going on. But maybe I'd annoyed him enough to..

"I'm not getting involved Taj,"Quil said, folding his arms.

"Ughh! You're ridiculous,"I frowned, glaring at him.

"Well getting frustrated isn't going to get you anywhere,"Quil said coolly, watching the game again. Kyle made a point by turning up the volume.

I raised my voice over it with ease,"Then what do you suggest?"

"Just accepting things as they are."

"That's easy for you to say, you still have all of your friends,"I snapped, I was getting tired of being here.

I walked into the hall without another word, grabbing my jacket from it's hook. I looked at the clock..I still had a half-hour before I had to be over at Naomi's, but I couldn't stand being here anymore. She had called yesterday afternoon, asking my Mom if I could go over there tonight to help her with something.

"I'm going over Naomi's,"I said, looking in the living room, Quil wouldn't look at me, Kyle glanced at me, but was fixed on the game,"Call me if you need me."

Then I stomped out of the house, slamming the door shut behind me, going out into the pouring rain and dark night, gusts of wind sending my hair flying. I simply walked out to the car. I silently fumed as I drove to Naomi's, playing some nice, loud music, but it didn't help because I couldn't go too fast because of the slippery roads. Stupid weather, stupid boys..

I parked in front of Naomi's house, the cabin seeming almost like a beacon in the storm, and my mood. I got out of the car and quickly walked up, knocking on the door.

Naomi answered within a few moments, looking at me with a concerned expression,"Get inside dear before you catch a cold,"she said, opening the door for me to walk in,"You're here early, is something wrong?"

I walked inside and immediately the warmth of the house rushed to greet me, there was another mug of coffee sitting at the kitchen table next to Naomi as she sat down.

I pulled out a chair and pulled the cup close to me,"I see you were expecting me early,"I said, giving Naomi a small smile as I sipped the coffee, letting the liquid warm my throat.

She gave me a small smile in return, shrugging a little,"I had a hunch you might be early."

I gave her a slightly puzzled, but amused look and replied,"The boys drove me out of the house, I couldn't stand them anymore."

She chuckled a little,"They were giving you a hard time?"

I set my mug down and sighed, looking over the graining of the wooden kitchen table before telling Naomi honestly,"..Lately, it feels like everyone has."

I felt calmer about talking to Naomi, just being with her in the quiet house had rubbed down my frustration a little. Naomi had always been willing to listen to both sides of the story if there was a conflict, whether it was between adults or little kids, it was nice to have someone just listen, to have them try to relate instead of be set against you from the beginning.

"I'm sure you've already heard everything though,"I said to her placidly, whenever there was something going on in the house, my Mom would fill Naomi in. She couldn't keep something to herself to save her life, what could I say?

"Hmm,"Naomi nodded slowly, watching me,"Yes, your Mother has told me about the ..disputes, between the two of you."

"I know I lost my cool,"I admitted,"But I do have a right to know don't I? I mean, you think Jake is a good kid..right?"

I had almost forgotten to add the last part, already knowing Naomi's opinion from listening to the phone conversation. But, she didn't know that, so..

"Jacob is a very nice boy, all of those kids are,"Naomi agreed,"But, your Mother has her reasons, Taj, and you should respect them."

Oh, great, the whole 'respect your elders' point. Well, at least I could talk to her.

I sighed,"I know she has my best interests at heart, but it's still not fair, and Quil agrees with my Mom too!"I said, gesturing,"I mean, they're best friends, Quil shouldn't let his hardhead get in the way of his friendship.."I trailed off, pausing for a moment as I met Naomi's gaze.

She raised her eyebrows,"..Just because Jacob likes you?"She inquired.

"Uhm..yeah, maybe,"I said awkwardly, lowering my hands. Okay, so maybe I'd gone a little too far in my rant,"But I doubt he does, he hasn't called me in the past four days, unless he knows what's going on. Or maybe it's because of me."

Naomi laughed again,"Why would it be because of you? You're a very nice, pretty young woman Taj. I've watched Jacob Black grow up, and if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that he isn't that easy to give up a friendship."

"Well, I guess,"I said, still unbelieving.

"Maybe he just doesn't want to get you in trouble,"Naomi suggested,"I wouldn't worry about it. This will all blow over soon enough, and you can make new friends in school."

I thought about Jacob and found_ that_ hard to believe, but Naomi was only trying to help. I didn't want to put her out.

"I guess,"I said again, thinking about the upcoming school year,"But..they won't be like Jacob, I can really relate to him, Naomi. It's like.."I trailed off, trying to find the right words,"He makes me.._me_ again."

"Naomi, if there was something going on..you'd tell me,right?"I asked slowly, watching her.

I thought that maybe at first I hadn't chosen the right words, that she thought I held Jacob's friendship to too much value, that I didn't understand. She looked at me in silence for a moment and smiled gently, but her gaze seemed sorrowful. I then thought for a minute that maybe she'd answer my question, maybe I'd finally know what was going on. She placed her hand on mine and then said,"There is something I'd like to give you, child."

"Well, young lady, I should say,"She said, getting up to take a small leather pouch from the top of the fridge, setting it on the table in front of me as she sat down again.

"Your Grandfather and I had decided to give this to you when you came of age,"Naomi stated calmly,"It used to belong to him, it's hand-made."

I watched her before opening the bag and dropping the item into my palm. It hadn't been exactly the answer I was looking for, but maybe she would explain. I placed the small, worn leather pouch onto the table, getting a closer look at the item. It was a necklace, a _wampum_ necklace. It had been made with black cord, decorated with white and blue-dyed shell beads, even I knew how rare wampum necklaces were to come by. Not many people made them anymore, and they were really expensive to buy. The pendant was a small, silver disk, with a howling white wolf in front of it, probably whittled from wampum as well. It was a really beautiful piece, and I was a little awestruck to have received it.

"As tradition in the Ateara family, we pass this on to the oldest child in the next generation to pass on the leadership as head and protector of the family,"Naomi explained to me, smiling,"It was given to your grandfather by his mother, and to her by her father, and so on."

I looked over the necklace, the shining silver disk glinting in the light. It would have been Eric's. I couldn't possibly accept this, I looked over at Naomi, ready to object, but she beat me to it.

"We wanted _you_ to have it, and so would he,"She said, already reading my thoughts, still smiling at me.

"..Thank you," I said slowly, deciding not to argue, but Eric _should_ have this necklace, not me. Still, I was thankful for it, even if I hadn't gotten any answers to what was going on. I looked over the pendant once again and put the necklace on, the wampum beads cool against my skin, I thought about all of the old stories Naomi had told me. There were dozens of them with different spirits and animals pointing out meanings and morals, but the most prominent seemed to involve wolves. I thought it was odd, hearing the usual fairy tails from my Mom or in school growing up, how wolves were usually the sinister character in the story. The Three Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood..

They were bloodthirsty, dirty, scruffy beasts, with dark eyes and snarling expressions, dripping fangs. But in Quileute folklore, wolves were helpers, almost noble. They were protectors and guides. I had asked Naomi why so many stories involved wolves when I was little, most of the time the wolf consisting as a hero or a guide. She had told me that we used to think of the wolves as our brothers, that they, like the old tribes, had the same family values, so we respected them. There had even been a legend that we were _descendants_ of wolves. Hey, I'd _said _it was folklore.

"Why a wolf?"I asked Naomi, pulling us both out of our reverie.

Her eyes looked at the pendant and she answered,"The ancestor that originally made that necklace, it's been in the family too long to quite remember who made the original, valued a story, and based the pendant off of one of the characters so the person who received it could think of them and find guidance."

I smiled a little, drinking my coffee,"Well now you _have_ to tell me the story."

Naomi laughed a little,"You always took an interest in the old legends,"She said,"Why should I think that curiosity could have faded?"

She calmed a little and was quiet for a moment, recalling the story, and as she spoke I could feel myself going back, back to when I was only five years old, walking in the forest with Naomi and Eric. The world had been so vast then, and I had stuck close to Naomi's side, Eric bounding ahead, jumping over logs and climbing trees. Then she would find our usual spot in the forest, her saying that she needed a rest, and she'd sit on a stump while we sat on a log, a large pine tree that had fallen years ago, and she'd start telling us a story.

"This story takes place hundreds of years ago, when the old tribe still traveled and hunted together, and Chief Honani was in reign. He wasn't a favorite leader, but he was respected all the same, and he followed and enforced the original Quileute laws. It was nearing the end of his reign, but the tribe already had another leader ready to take Chief Honani's duties when he stepped down. His name was Ahote, and he was a very respected warrior in the tribe, he was the largest of the boys in the tribe, but he fought nobly. He had a kind, respectful nature, and did not seek violence as the first answer to conflicts. He had also started a family, having a wife and a young son. The tribe thought of him as a good father and husband as well, and they knew he would be wise and look out for the tribe's bests interests.

"Ahote was honored to receive the role as being next in line to become chief, but he would wait patiently for when Chief Honani was ready to step down. Ahote wasn't the only one well known from his family though, he had an infamous younger brother, Ashkii. Ashkii had never harmed anyone from the tribe, but it was simply his nature that the tribe did not approve of. Growing up he was a selfish, reckless child who never considered the consequences of his actions, and he was punished numerous times. Everyone felt that he would grow out of his mischievous nature within a few years though, that it was just the phase of a boy. But he carried on the same manner into his teens, near when he was about to reach manhood and Ahote had already married. Ahote would try to calm his brother and spend time with him to gentle his wild nature, but to no avail. His parents and the tribe constantly asked, 'Why can't you be more like Ahote? Take his example.' But Ashkii had lived in Ahote's shadow all of his life, and he was tired of being compared to his perfect brother, he wanted a different path, he did not wish to become a man, he only wanted to have fun, and so he answered,'Because I do not want to be a man, I want to be myself.'"

Naomi paused, drinking her coffee and I listened patiently, waiting.

"His parents were outraged and worried that they would be shamed by their youngest son, and so Ahote tried even more to calm Ashkii, to show him what it was like to be a man, that it was an honor, not a punishment. But Ashkii had different ideas, when the men went out on hunts, he would conveniently disappear, and he would not show up for training to be a warrior. No one was sure where Ashkii went off too, and soon they stopped punishing him because it did not ameliorate his behavior, many people avoided him or ignored him, not wanting to put up with his arrogant behavior. But the tribe could not focus on Ashkii anymore, a war had started with a neighboring tribe over fertile planting lands, and the men of the tribe were called to battle in the mountains, including Ahote, whom would lead them. Ashkii stayed behind, angry with the tribe and his perfect brother, he no longer had friends to take part in games with him, and his family treated him sternly. What fun was it to be a boy if you were alone?

"This did not change Ashkii's nature though, he continued not to take part in helping the tribe gather crops or hunt, but now it was out of defiance, not laziness. One day Ahote's wife came to Ashkii and asked him if he would send a message to Ahote for her. Ashkii refused, not wanting to help the tribe that treated him like an outcast. He told her of another passage that she could take that not many people used in the mountains, it would take her safely right to where the tribe had set up camp. Ahote's wife did not ask for Ashkii's help again, but instead thanked him and walked away.

"A few days later only a handful of the tribe warriors returned, a few were still wounded. Ahote returned with them, unharmed, but he looked many years older, and very upset. He did not stop to talk to Ashkii, instead he went straight to his hut to talk to his parents. Ashkii, wanting to know what happened, asked one of the other warriors. He said that the tribe had greatly underestimated the forces of the opposing tribe, and many had been lost in battle. They had even heard that the other tribe was thinking of taking over the Quileute homelands and taking everyone as prisoner. But what had bothered Ahote the most was that they had taken a different passage home to safely escape the other warriors, and they had found Ahote's wife dead, frozen in the snow. Her baby carrier had been with her, but it was empty. The other tribe had taken Ahote's son, but he said that they're plan was going to be to try to make a treaty with the other tribe, instead of risk everyone's lives.

" 'Ahote doesn't want to avenge his wife?' Ashkii had asked, unbelieving.

'There are more important matters than revenge, Ashkii. Ahote knows his wife would want him to keep the tribe safe, and that is what he is going to try to do. Your brother is very strong, you could learn something from him,' The warrior had replied.

Ashkii left him, overcome by guilt and sorrow, and fear. Fear for his tribe, his home and the people he had grown up with, and sorrow for his brother and the tribe's loss. And finally, guilt for his laziness, for not helping the tribe or listening to his brother, or helping his wife. If Ashkii had taken the message by horseback, he would have gotten to the camp and returned safely, but he had been stubborn and forced his wife to go, and she had taken her baby with her because Ashkii would not watch the child. Now Ahote's wife was dead, and her baby had been captured.

"Ashkii was ashamed of himself, and so he ran into the woods, not knowing or caring where he was going, it was too late to undo the damage he had caused, and he wanted for no one to be around him so he could not harm them. Finally he stopped from exhaustion and began to cry like the boy he was, calling out for forgiveness from the spirits, admitting his laziness and asking for a second chance, for help, that he knew he would not get. A large, white wolf heard his ruckus and came to investigate. At first Ashkii was frightened, but the wolf began to speak to him.

'You are a selfish boy and you do not deserve any help,'Said the wolf,'But you wish to help your brother, and so I will give you a second chance to prove your manhood. I will stop the battle and save your brother's son, but I would like something in return.'

'Name it!' Ashkii said, no longer afraid of the great wolf, he was desperate for any help, and he would give anything to save his home and family.

'I am near the end of my life, and after I die, I will be no more. But when you die, you go to the spirit realm, your soul has the flight to go there, mine does not. So, in exchange for helping your brother, you will have to give up your soul and eternal rest and live for eternity in my form,'Said the wolf.

Ashkii hesitated, this was a large exchange. He would be forced to live alone as a wolf forever, never finding peace, he would outlive his family and friends. But, he had to help his brother, try to redeem himself and make things right, he could not lose his home and the ones he loved,'I will do that for you, if you stop the war and save my nephew.'

The wolf looked at him, bowing his head,'Then the deal is made. That is very generous of you, and I thank you. You are willing to give up your eternal peace for your home and tribe. You truly are a man.'

And then the wolf raised his head and howled, the sound traveling for miles, and other howls answered him, the sound filling the forest. Then without another word the wolf took off, faster then Ashkii could have blinked, and soon other wolves darted past him, just as big and graceful as the white wolf. It was said that the pack went to the mountains and attacked the other tribe's camp, destroying the huts and attacking the enemies. They were scared off, and the opposing tribe never infringed on the Quileute lands again. The howls and snarls could be heard from the tribe lands, and many people stood outside listening to the peculiar racket, thinking the spirits had sent the wolves to help them.

Ashkii had returned home, waiting for the wolves to return so he could fulfill his part of the deal, and the noise filled him with pride, but he did not tell his brother what he had done. The wolf pack came to the village later that evening, the white wolf leading them, carrying a basket in his mouth. The people were frightened of the wolves at first, but astounded by their grace, and they watched the procession walk over to Ashkii of all people! They did not harm the wolves, wanting to know what was going on.

Ahote ran out to protect his brother, thinking the wolves were meant to harm him, but Ashkii stopped him and took the basket from the white wolf, handing it to his brother. The baby was nestled inside the basket, fast asleep. Ahote was astounded and grateful, he looked at the wolves and thanked them.

'But we did not do this on our own, your brother asked for our help. He has proved himself a man,'The white wolf said,' He has decided to give up his eternal peace in exchange to save his home and the people he cares for.'

The tribe was silent in disbelief, but without another word, the wolf fell to the ground. Ashkii did the same, and when he opened his eyes again, his body was gone and he was looking at the world from the wolf's eyes. The tribe was shocked and many began to grab weapons, thinking the wolves had performed some trickery, but Ahote stopped them.

'These wolves and my brother has saved our tribe,'He said, looking at the white wolf, Ashkii,'He has made the greatest sacrifice for our tribe, and I thank him.'

And then, Ahote kneeled before his brother, and so did the rest of the tribe. Showing respect for the selfish boy who had become a man. Ashkii had accepted his fate like a man, and made a sacrifice for his people. He lived with the wolves, taking over as head of the pack, and they lived in the mountains, watching over the Quileute tribe. In respect for the wolves, the tribe did not hunt them. And Ahote, in honor of his brother, named his son Ashkii."

Naomi finished the story, and suddenly I was back in the cozy kitchen with her,"So, we fashioned the pendant after the white wolf, Ashkii, as a sort of acceptance of coming of age for the next generation."

"Oh,"I said, touching the pendant absentmindedly, thinking about the story,"Thank you for telling me that. And it means a lot to me that you gave me this necklace."

"No problem dear,"Naomi smiled,"So, how are you feeling?"

I was still partially in my thoughts and found it a little odd that Naomi was asking me this suddenly,"Um, fine."

"Hmm,"She murmured, touching her hand to my forehead,"I just want to make sure you don't catch a cold, dear. The weather here is hard on your immune system."

"I'll be alright,"I told her, smiling slightly, but still finding her behavior a little off. Naomi had fussed over things like this before, but it was always a little odd when she did. I pushed away my peculiar insights and got to the reason why Naomi had asked me to come over.

"So Mom said that you needed help with something?"I said, finishing off my coffee.

"Oh, yes,"Naomi said, getting up to take a folder and some markers from the counter,"I'd like to go over some orders from the store with you, I think you can be more involved with the management since you're older, and I'd like some help with some flyers and things I wanted to put up."

"Sure, no problem,"I said, leaving the Quileute folklore behind and getting into the calm of every day reality again.

I left Naomi's house hours later, finally finishing helping her with flyers for discounts, the work had been easy though and Naomi had kept watching me like I might start out with a cold at any minute, oh well, that was concerned grandmothers for ya. I walked out to the car, not bothering to put the hood up of my jacket, not caring about the rain anymore, I paused for a minute, looking at the sky absentmindedly..and noticed something. The gusts of wind were moving the dark clouds quickly across the sky, but you could only tell when they passed in front of the full moon, making it seem like time had been put on fast forward. It was an eerie and yet intricate sight, but it made me stop, and then slowly look at Naomi's cozy house. _We'll see what happens when the full moon comes around..._ My Mom's words echoed in my head, fading into nothing. I hesitated, debating whether to go back in the house..and say what? I couldn't badger my Grandmother on what was going on, maybe it had been some sort of test. I touched the necklace again, thinking. _What was supposed to happen? _

Maybe they had wanted me out of the house, that was why Naomi had asked for me to come over. Maybe there had been another reason why Quil had visited. ..Or I could have just been acting paranoid. I sighed slowly, a little irritated and anxious with the situation as I looked over the eerie sky, I _had_ to find out what was going on. Without another thought, I got into my car and started the engine, driving home through the gloomy night.

When I got home, the lights were off and everyone had gone to bed. Even back in Seattle, I had felt almost like a criminal when I came home to a dark house, like I somehow just didn't belong. After all the weirdness that had been going on lately, walking through the large, empty living room hadn't helped much. Mom had left me some dinner in the microwave, but I wasn't hungry at all, and nor was I tired. But, standing alone in a large, creepy house wasn't that fun so I decided to go up to my room quietly anyways.

I plopped down on my bed, listening to the rain fall on the roof and the occasional gust of wind rush around the house. The branches from the tree near my window swayed in the moonlight, casting odd shadows on my ceiling. What could a full moon stand for though? There was no significance, my family had never said anything about a full moon before. Then again, they hadn't told me I couldn't hang out with someone anymore and not told me why before either. I stared at the ceiling, watching the shadows dance and shift, going over for the millionth time in my head what had happened at Naomi's house, if she had said anything peculiar, done anything specific. The night had consisted mostly of just the two of us working, her showing me how to go over specific orders, taking count of stock..

But, she had given me the necklace, and told me the story about the boy who had turned into a wolf. _We'll see what happens when the full moon comes around..._

I sat up suddenly and looked at the window, as if expecting to see someone there, watching me in my puzzled thoughts. A connection formed in my head. _Werewolf. _A story about a boy who had turned into a wolf, waiting for the full moon to come around, getting the necklace.. My heart rushed and suddenly time stopped.

No, was I _insane?_ There was no such thing as werewolves, just like there was no such thing as the tooth fairy or the easter bunny; there were no monsters that lurked in your closet or under your bed, and there were no beasts that roamed the night. Werewolves and demons and vampires all fell into that cardboard box you kept up n your attic and brought down for Halloween. They were make-believe. My paranoia had just altered my thoughts, made me come up with some type of explanation that I had been digging for.

_Well, you certainly found it._

No, there was no way. But the way my Mom and Naomi had talked on the phone.._She's not like them_.._it's dangerous for her to be hanging out with them. What if one of them was too rough? And what if Taj finds out and she's not one of them? _

Them.

My Mom standing up, the morning light highlighting her hair, bringing out every feature and contrast in her face,_"Taj, there are just some things that you're not ready to understand."_

Jacob's face flashed in front of my eyes, the warmth fading as he pulled away from me, the expression on his perfect face caught off guard, but determined as he pulled away from me, the last echoes of the wolf's howl fading into the night, merging with the waves,"I have to go, I'll call you tomorrow."

Quil's chilling gaze,_"I don't really want Jacob around you either."_

Suddenly everything that had happened over the past week was spinning in my head, pulling itself together like magnets that had been switched on. The reason why no one was telling me anything, why Jacob hadn't called. Why _they_ were dangerous. I pictured everyone from the afternoon at the beach, from the bonfire, the warm, smiling faces, _my friends._ And then, his face stood out against theirs the way color stands out from black and white, his exuberant laugh, his bright, dark eyes, the way he'd stood by me protectively, like a bodyguard. Jacob..a _werewolf?_ But not just him, not the just the Quileute gang, but me too, Taj Williams, a monster. A furry, snarling beast with blood lust at the full moon, me, a killing machine. Was that why Naomi had kept asking me how I was feeling? To see if I might turn into a raging beast?

I was suddenly freezing, though the room was fine, and my hands were shaking, I put them down resolutely on my bed and swallowed. It felt like my whole world had just been disrupted, like everything had just fallen out from under me. I could turn into a..

I felt like I was contaminated, like I had some highly contagious disease, like I should be isolated, the same way I felt when Sam had looked at me, like I didn't belong. ..No, no this was nonsense. There was no such thing as werewolves. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I mean, come on, Jacob a _killer?_ And my family believing in werewolves? I could just picture my Mom's expression if I voiced my theory, yeah.._that'd _go over very well. No, there was a logical explanation for all of this, I had just taken some convenient information to a whole new extreme. It was just the story freaking me out, that was all. Still, the necklace felt even heavier as I remembered it, like it was weighing me down, like I was marked somehow. I took it off and held it in-between my fingers, letting the pendant spin in the air. Funny how such a small, intricate thing could set someone off.

I laughed a little at myself, _werewolves_. Good one, Taj. Maybe I could chill with the ghost in my closet too, while I was at it. ..No, there had to be another reason why I couldn't see Jacob or anyone, and Naomi was just being her concerned self, pointlessly worrying about her grandchildren. Stick with the logical.

Still, I was doubtful as I looked over the necklace..the timing was too convenient for it to be a coincidence.I mean, werewolves was extreme, but, maybe something else was going on. And I'd have to find out soon..or I'd completely lose it, if I hadn't already.

I took my phone out of my pocket, I didn't have any missed calls, and it was too late to try to call Jacob, no matter how riled up I was. What I needed right now was sleep, and then I'd start tomorrow with a clear mind, I'd call Jacob again and try to find out what was going on. And I'd be proved wrong. I hope.

With another calming breath I put my phone and my necklace on the bedside table, not bothering to change before laying down on my bed again and closing my eyes, blocking out the dancing shadows that seemed to taunt me and trying to block out the thoughts that taunted my mind.

But sleep wouldn't come, only a sort of drifting, half-slumber, and then I'd jerk up again whether from a sudden noise or just a jarring thought, to see my digital clock peering at me in the dark. But I was glad I didn't fall into a complete sleep..I could only imagine what type of dreams I would have. I drifted into consciousness again at half past six, and I decided to get up, tired of laying in bed. I took a long, warm shower, but turned the water on cold for the last few minutes, wanting to wake myself up. Then I changed, debating for a minute before putting on the necklace and went downstairs, the house still remotely silent but the lights were on, my Dad had left for work by now. I went in the fridge and grabbed a muffin and a glass of orange juice and sat down at the counter.

The morning silence made it difficult to distract myself from my thoughts. I took a bite from my muffin and chewed in silence, I felt torn, like all I could do was obsess on the subject, but I wanted to put off on calling Jacob again for as long as possible. Because..what if he didn't have an answer for me?

I sighed and put my half-eaten muffin back down, the taste becoming stale in my mouth. I'd have to find out sooner or later, but right now I just needed some time for myself, and it was too early to call anyways. But there wasn't much to do at seven thirty in the morning. And then I came up with the perfect idea.

I put my untouched glass of orange juice in the fridge, leaving a note on the counter, and went out to the garage, switching my sneakers for my scuffed riding boots and grabbing my old helmet from a shelf. It was early to go out riding, but that was a plus of living just outside Forks, no neighbors to wake up, and forest for miles and miles around; all for the taking.

I pushed the bike out of the garage and kick started it, letting the lovely snarl of the engine fill my head and block out every early morning sound, every thought. I revved the bike while it warmed up, and it growled in protest before I switched gears and took off down the driveway, turning left. The road, as usual, was completely deserted, but I stayed off on the side anyways, switching into fifth gear, putting more distance between myself and home. It was a few minutes before I went past a small cattle farm, causing some grazing cows to look up curiously as I went by, breaking the early morning stillness.

It was crisp out, but invigorating to feel the cool air race over my skin as I sped ahead, but I knew the sun would be climbing higher into the sky soon enough, and the winding snake of road was losing my interest. I spotted a small, worn trail that went up over a small hill and disappeared into the lush green of the backwoods, so I followed it, disappearing from the sun that was beginning to warm my back.

Only a small amount of sunlight filtered through the branches of the wizened trees, leaving most of the forest dark and lushly green. I could immediately feel how much cooler it was in the shade. It wasn't so dark that I couldn't see the path though, it was easy to find, worn over several times. But it was narrow and difficult to follow at times, taking sharp turns and going through thick brush, and other times it turned off and faded into the forest. I stayed on the main trail though, wondering what had made the path. It could have been deer or mountain bikers, but sometimes it went over small logs that I had to go around, so I began to doubt the latter. The challenge of winding turns and different terrain was nice though, and the nagging thoughts of what was going on had disappeared; left outside with the sun.

Finally, the path went over another hill on the left, probably going across the road and into the woods again. I went over the small jump, ready to go down the small incline to the street. But, I underestimated the 'small incline'. I will point out a safety reminder to fellow dirtbikers out there, if you're going to go over a hill that goes back to the road, make sure you check how steep the incline is first, or you could find yourself tumbling down it.

The incline was on an almost fifty degree angle, and it didn't level out before it went to the street, either. Thus, it almost seemed like there were two hills on the side of the road, this would seriously suck if a car happened to be going by, which, with my luck, one did. A nice, shiny silver Volvo. Well, it would be better than being hit by a mack truck.

At first I went to switch the bike into fifth again to get enough speed so the bike wouldn't topple over going down hill, but then I spotted the car and swore under my breath. _Why? _Why did this seem to always happen? Well, I had three choices, there was A. Try to outrun the car and risk getting turned into a pancake, B. Pull on my brakes and go flying through the side window of the car, or C. Whip out to the side and try to turn, like when I had tried to avoid the fox.

I bit my lower lip and tried to whip the bike to the left, the engine roared in protest, and instead of going left, I began to fall down the hill. Well, it was better than becoming road kill. The car had pulled on it's brakes by now, probably startled by seeing me come out of nowhere. The bike finally stopped, the engine puttering out and I sighed, pushing the bike off of me. I was pretty sure I had a nice scrape on my left elbow, due to the burning sensation, but at least my legs were okay.

Great, now I could deal with an angry driver, I took off my helmet, already knowing the apology I would give as I looked at the angry pink scrape on my elbow, I brushed the dirt away silently.

"Oh my gosh, Taj, are you okay?"

It was a voice I'd only heard once before, but I'd be able to recognize it anywhere, there wasn't another voice like it, soft and sincere. I turned my head in surprise and saw Bella Swan standing in the shade not to far from me, she hadn't bothered to close her car door, and her perfect face was one of true shock. What was she doing in Forks?

"Oh,"I said, feeling heat fluster my cheeks from embarrassment, I could have killed us both if I'd hit her car. I must have looked like a real idiot.

"I'm so sorry, I must have really scared you, coming out of nowhere like that,"I said awkwardly, but Bella's face didn't turn to rage,"Are you alright?"

Bella made a face at me like I was crazy,"I'm fine, I wasn't the one that just slid down a hill! Did you hurt anything?"She asked again, looking at my arm.

"Just a scrape,"I finished, trying to keep myself in check, "Boots and helmet took the brunt of it."

I shuddered a little to think what could have happened if I hadn't been wearing proper gear. I wanted to ask Bella why she was in Forks, did she live around here? An awkward silence had settled between us, and I noticed that she was staring at me, well, not me specifically, but at my necklace. I reached up to touch it absentmindedly, as if wanting to hide it, and I cleared my throat, saying again,"I'm really sorry, I should have looked first."

I really did mean it though, I felt like a jerk, for coming out of nowhere like that, and especially with Bella, even if I didn't really know her. She blinked, meeting my eyes again, she shook her head.

"No, don't worry about it, I'm just glad I didn't hit you. It's a pretty steep incline, and the road just come off of a turn. It's an accident waiting to happen,"She said, looking back at the road, and thena t me again,"What were you doing out here so early?"

Her tone had picked up a note of curiosity and I shrugged,"Just going out for a ride, exploring."

Bella Swan didn't need to know about my personal life.

"Are you sure you're alright?"Bella asked me again, her eyes pleading,"I feel really bad. Here, how about we go get a cup of coffee, my treat?"

I was about to object, just say thanks but I was fine, it hadn't been her fault, but then an idea popped into my head. Maybe Bella knew what was going on, or had happened. Her and Jacob had been close, so if anyone knew that would actually tell me, it was her. Okay, yeah, I know, taking advantage of Bella's coffee offer to pump her for information wasn't exactly right, but my sanity was in the balance; desperate measures had to be taken. It was an opportunity I couldn't pass up.

"I really am fine,"I told her again, giving her a small smile to reassure her,"But coffee sounds nice."

"Great,"Bella said, giving me a shining grin,"Do you live far from here?"

"Just a couple of miles down the road,"I replied, buckling my helmet again and picking up my bike,"You can follow me back if you want, and I'll drop my bike off."

"Sounds good,"Bella said, still smiling, getting into her car again.

I sighed as I started up the bike again, the faithful Kaui roaring into life again. The fall hadn't damaged it, at least, from what I could see now, I'd look over it more carefully later. Right now, I was more concerned with other thoughts as I set off down the road at a quick pace, the Volvo tailing me like a shadow. I had finally been given an opportunity to get to the bottom of things, a flashlight to see the monsters under the bed.


	13. Chapter 13: Canis Lupus

13.Canis Lupus

Everyone's had those instances where they'll be somewhere doing something, and hours before they would have never pictured themselves at this point. As an example, when I had woken up this morning I had never foreseen myself almost getting turned into a pancake by Bella Swan, of all the random people on the planet, but then invited out for coffee by said random person. So, I figured it was going to be a pretty interesting day when the waitress brought my coffee, black with two sugars, and set it down between Bella Swan and I, giving Bella her coffee as well.

We were sitting outside a small café in the heart of Forks, the sun was actually out for once, burning off the dampness native to Forks and people were taking advantage of it. Adults and children alike roamed the sidewalk freely, wandering among the small shops as chatter and the deep smell of foliage drifted on the air from the florist shop next door.

"I really appreciate this, it's nice of you,"I said, taking a refreshing drink from my coffee..nothing like caffeine as a pick-me-up. I was a really bad coffee addict.

"Don't worry about it, it's the least I can do,"Bella replied, shrugging easily,"So what do you think of Forks?"

I thought about all of the crazy things that had been going on lately briefly,"It's nice,"I answered,"A nice break from Seattle, I like the city and all, but I don't miss the noise, or the traffic, that's for sure."

Bella nodded thoughtfully,"Yeah, I know what you mean. Forks is a nice area too, really pretty wildlife. All of my friends are here, I miss it sometimes."

I quirked an eyebrow, pausing from taking another drink from my coffee,"You don't live here?"

"Oh, no, not anymore,"Bella said, shaking her head as she sipped her coffee,"I'm going to school in Alaska, I'm just visiting family right now."

"Really,"I said, my interest satisfied, but also wanting to keep the light conversation,"So what's your major?"

"Law,"Bella answered almost at once,"Going for my..Bachelor's degree.."

"That's nice,"I replied, her answer had been sudden, but her features didn't let on,"I was thinking of going for Education."

"For what?"Bella asked, her bright eyes watching me kindly.

"English,"I answered calmly,"Or Creative Writing."

She nodded, looking at me as if she was trying to read me,"You seem like the literature type."

"Um, thanks,"I smiled slightly.

She changed the subject nonchalantly, looking through her purse,,"So you're fitting in well with the group?"

I paused for a moment, the conversation slipping into deeper matters,"..Yeah, they're good friends."

"You seem like there's something on your mind.."Bella observed, her staring eyes locked on mine as I looked up. She had discarded or found whatever she had been searching for.

I met her gaze from a moment, my expression calm, a practiced face. But Bella didn't seem convinced, like she could see right through me, and it didn't surprise me. She was perfect; from her lush dark hair to her clear complexion, why couldn't she be intuitive too? I guess I felt a little threatened by Bella, it wasn't like she wasn't nice, it was just something in the air around her. Like there was some factor to her that seemed almost royal, demanding praise, was it her beauty, her elegance? I wasn't sure, but just some provincial part of me didn't want to give in to Bella the shrink. No, there was something almost.. dark about her. Yes, something in her eyes that I would catch as she glanced away, it was a chilling look, one that held only rage, a bitter anger. It almost.. scared me a little, made me feel defensive even though deep down somewhere something told me I was defenseless. The first couple of times I had noticed this I had thought that maybe it was just a play of the light, but I understood it because I had seen it in myself.

It was then suddenly that before I had even realized it, Bella had reached across the table and was holding the pendant of my necklace in-between her fingers, looking at it as if it was a prized gem. I noticed that she had a bracelet around her wrist with a similar pendant; a brown wolf, whittled from wood. The other charm was a diamond heart.I stayed dead still, suddenly wanting to jump back but willing myself not too, my breath almost catching in my throat for a minute.

"It's pretty,"She said, finally letting go and moving back, letting the pendant fall against my chest again, like a persecutor letting go of a choking noose,"Who gave it to you?"

Once again her pretty eyes met mine, an almost knowing and yet playful glint in her gaze, I answered amicably,"My grandmother."

"That's sweet,"She said, showing me her bracelet,"Jacob gave me this one."

I suddenly spotted a connection but couldn't help but purse my lips,"That's sweet. Who gave you the other charm? They're both nice."

"Thanks,"Bella smiled, looking over the bracelet,"My husband gave me the other one."

Oh. Awkward. But wait, she was _married?_ Well, it didn't surprise me, but wasn't she still in college? Well, to each their own, I guess. I thought about what Jacob had told me about Bella and I wondered if there had been more involved, but I already had a mission to focus on.

Bella became pensive,"I miss Jacob, we were really good friends..I could really trust him, you know?"She said, looking at me once again and for a moment the chill was gone from her eyes.

And I did know. Because I understood what Bella meant, about Jacob, about him being kind, always upbeat. And sure, Bella Swan was drop-dead gorgeous, but by her almost pained expression, I could see that she was human, too. That she was feeling the same way I was. She just missed her friend, like I did.

"Yeah.."I said slowly, thinking.

"Is something up?"She asked curiously, once again trying to approach the question from earlier.

"Well, yeah, kinda,"I admitted, setting my coffee down,"For the past week now, Jacob's been really..distant, lately. He hasn't called me at all, none of the Quileute group has. And when I first got here we were all friends, and Jacob, well he's my best friend. But I mean, I don't know if he's mad at me or what. I know I might sound a little clingy, but I think something's up, I can just sort of tell."

Bella watched me sympathetically,"What do you think is wrong?"

"Well..I have a couple of theories,"I admitted reluctantly, then added"You'd think I was nuts if I let you in on one though."

Werewolves, ha, happy hotel for me.

"Try me,"Bella said calmly, sipping her coffee again, that business-like, almost arrogant air returning, and I was going to just shrug her off when our eyes caught again, and I could see that she was serious, that she really cared and she wanted to know. And I thought that maybe she could possibly understand..

"Well.."I began,"Jacob and I, the last time we were hanging out, we were talking and.."I trailed off, this was more awkward than the other theory.

Bella watched me patiently though, unhindered by my uncomfortable position.

"Well, he kind of let on that he wants to be more than friends, or, he did at the time,"I finished finally, avoiding her eyes.

"At the time?"Bella asked, a small sad smile growing on her face.

"Well, he hasn't called me since then, and well, maybe he's just gone back on his choice,"I said.

"Then he would tell you,"Bella answered kindly,"But I don't know why he would go back on something like that. Jacob's not like that, and you seem pretty nice. I could picture you two as a couple."

"Oh, um, thanks,"I said, giving her a smile.

Bella nodded, smiling again,"So what's the crazy theory?"

I paused a little, but then continued,"Well, a couple of factors that don't seem to add up is that my Mom doesn't want me hanging out with Jacob, or anyone from the Quileute group either, neither does Quil; which is weird as hell, because him and Jacob are best friends, though I can understand the whole protective instinct coming into play, but that doesn't make up for everyone else. He didn't even object to what my Mom said."

"And..?"Bella prompted.

"Well, you're going to think it's nuts, like I've said, but it kinda has to do with this necklace, and what I heard my Mom and my Grandma saying on the phone one night when this all started. My Mom said that they were dangerous, that I wasn't like them. She was talking about the group, of course, and my Grandma said that I would be fine and that I could turn out to be like them, but my Mom wanted to wait until the full moon came around,"I paused, continuing,"Which made no sense whatsoever, but then my Grandma asked me to come over her house last night, and she gave me this necklace and told me a story about this boy who turned into a wolf, and it was a full moon last night."

I finished the last part reluctantly, waiting for Bella to start laughing or for her to criticize me, to reassure me that there was no such thing as these furry beasts, it would even be better if she did,"So I thought,"I said, whispering now,"What if they were _werewolves? _..Crazy, right?"

But instead of asking me if I was joking or giving me some derogatory expression Bella was quiet for a few moments, just watching me, then finally she leaned close to me, replying,"Who says that's crazy?"

I blinked, that was certainly one answer I hadn't been expecting. I was waiting for her to suddenly break into a grin, to hear her soft laugh, to push this off as a joke, but she didn't. This was real.

"Well,"I answered after a long time,"Everyone. I mean, there's no such thing as..you know."

"You don't believe everything you hear, do you Taj?"Bella asked me, suddenly becoming serious,"Because, if everyone went with what everyone else heard, than not much would have been accomplished."

She sipped her coffee nonchalantly, sitting back, but I felt like I was on the edge of my seat.

"Are you saying.."I began slowly.

"I am simply saying that you have convincing evidence,"Bella answered me, her tone unchanging as she glanced at my necklace,"I mean, you could list this all as convenience. But some series of events are just too convenient to pass up, don't you think?"

I watched Bella Swan in mute silence, wondering if she was just as crazy as I was. Because she was _implying_ that everything was true. Maybe she was just trying to pull a fast one on me, to scare me off so she could make a quick runaway to her car. But I knew that that wasn't the case, that Bella really was speaking her mind. I mean, I didn't have any reason to doubt her, but then again, I didn't quite have a reason to trust her, either. It was a fifty-fifty chance, and why would she joke around about something like this anyways?

"But, that would mean.."I started again, but Bella already knew what I was going to say.

"Yeah, it could be,"She said, watching me,"But it's come and gone, hasn't it?"

"This is insane,"I sighed, touching my temple and resting my elbow on the table, feeling a migraine coming on, something else was bothering me as well,"And how do you..?"

But when I looked up from the table-top, Bella Swan's eyes were inches from my own, it was unnerving, how close she was to me, to see her serious gaze penetrating my own. But it was her eyes that bothered me even more, there was something determined about them, but not a normal determination..it was hostile..almost predatory; fixated. The way a cat watched something before it was about to pounce; almost relentless. And then there was that darkness to her eyes that I didn't like, a dead stare. There was something almost..inhuman about it.

"You should ask Jacob about these things,"She said slowly, a small, innocent smile forming on her lips as she moved back,"That's all I'm saying."

I swallowed, keeping my hands on my lap so she wouldn't see them shaking. Why was this freaking me out so bad? Because someone else actually validated what I was saying? A theory that everyone said wasn't true, something that opened the door to a dark hallway of hundreds of other mysteries and questions, leaving me with nothing but a match to light the way, with no one to follow. I swallowed again, the August sun suddenly becoming uncomfortable even though we were sitting under the canopy that jutted out from the roof, providing comfortable shade. I wanted to run away again, to have nothing to do with this anymore, and I didn't want to believe Bella; I didn't want to believe in demons and beasts that roamed the night as well as story books. But I felt that somehow, Bella and I were connected in this now, that we were in this together, that this was something I couldn't run away from, werewolf or not. You couldn't read half-way through something and suddenly stop, it would just nag you until you went back and finished it. You had to finish what you started.

I nodded slowly,"Okay,"I said, clearing my throat so my voice would sound more calm than I felt.

"..Can't you explain?"I asked her suddenly, wanting to finish this now.

Bella shook her head,"It's not my place..I think it's Jacob's job."Her eyes looked at me almost pitifully. She grabbed her napkin and took a pen from her purse, writing something down.

"This is my number,"She said, handing me the napkin with her scrawling print on it, as she gathered her things,"If you need to talk, just call. It was nice getting to know you, Taj."

I could tell that she meant it to, just from her smile, and I attempted a smile in return, despite how shaken up I was. It had been nice to talk to her too, I just wish it had concerned different matters. And I would be happy to get away from her chilling gaze, no offense. I knew I would be talking to her again soon, though probably not to just chill. Maybe the two of us could have been friends if none of this crazy werewolf stuff had been involved. I wanted to know how Bella had found out, too, had Jacob told her? Maybe she had done what I wanted to do, simply run away, and then she had met her husband. Maybe she was regretting her choice now. Werewolves or not, I guess, friendship was friendship.

She left silently, leaving money on the table for the tab before I could say another word, walking under the canopy to her car, where she had parked along the curb. I sighed and looked down at the napkin again, then stuffed it into my pocket. I thought about what Bella had said and took my cell phone out, seeing that I had missed a call from my Mom.

I frowned a little to myself but dialed Jacob's number instead, letting the phone ring a few times before reluctantly deciding to hang up when Billy answered.

"Hello?"He asked, his voice calm, but curt.

"Hey Billy, it's Taj,"I said, feeling a little awkward, but still determined,"Is Jacob there?"

"No, Taj, I'm afraid Jake's out, left early this morning with the group,"Billy answered tiredly.

"Oh,"I said dejectedly, but not surprised,"Well, thanks."

He said good-bye and hung up. I closed my phone but didn't put it away, thinking. How was I supposed to talk to Jacob if I couldn't contact him? Then I suddenly got an idea, wondering why I hadn't thought of it before. I opened my phone again and looked up Quil's number, waiting for him to answer.

"Taj?"He asked, answering, his voice became cool,"What do you want?"

"That's a nice way to talk to your cousin,"I commented, answering easily,"To talk to Jake, I know he's with you."

That's when I heard another voice from Quil's end, Quil sighed, annoyed,"Listen Taj, this has gone on long enough and-"

I cut him off,"Yeah, I know, that's why I'm going to end it by getting some answers, now just let me-"

"Knock it off Taj,"Quil snapped,"This is just the way things are now, okay? Learn to deal. You're not talking to him. This whole situation is none of your business anyways."

His words stung, but I could play with fire too.

"Well I've gotten insiders from another source that says this is my business, or implies it, anyways,"I said coolly.

Quil became silent, finally asking,"Who?"

But before I could snap back, asking him to just put Jake on the phone, there was a scuffle on the other end of the line.

"_What?"_

"_Just give me the phone!"_

"_No way!"_

"_Now!!"_

There were a few more undecipherable sounds before a different voice came on the line, leaving the other one grumbling in the background.

"Hey, Taj."

His voice sounded tired, worn out.

"Hey,"I replied calmly.

"Listen, I'm sorry I haven't called you, but, I just think-"

"I just wanted to talk to you,"I interjected, not wanting hear the same speech from him.

"Yeah, I know,"He replied, hesitating before he spoke again,"And you're right. It's just, I've been thinking lately, and it would probably be best if we didn't see each other anymore. ..I'm sorry."

I sighed and closed my eyes, letting the world fall out from under me for a minute. I took a steady breath, not wanting to haggle with Jacob over what he had said, this was over something else now, something that concerned my life more than a boy, even more than a friend. I was angry, frustrated with feeling defenseless, and annoyed with Jacob for pushing me away, but I kept my attitude business-like. Or tried to.

" Yeah, I figured,"I said, getting to what was at hand,"Listen, I only need a couple of minutes, this is really important. I need you to be honest with me, there's been some weird stuff going on lately, and-"

"Like what? Is something wrong?"Jacob asked suddenly, and I could detect the protective edge in his voice. I didn't know if it was more comforting or more painful to hear.

"It has to do with the Quileute legends about the werewolves,"I started, not sure how to quite put my thoughts into words without sounding like a complete idiot,"Just..if there was something going on that was affecting me, you'd tell me, right?"

"Of course."

And I knew he would say that, because that's just how Jacob came off as, being a loyal friend.

But I knew that wasn't true.

"Why, has Naomi been telling you stories?"He asked, his tone sounding playful.

"Yeah,"I sighed, adding,"But just listen, then I've heard her talking to my Mom, and she gave me this necklace with a wolf pendant, and then Bella had one too-"

"Taj,"Jake said,"None of those legends are real, come on, _werewolves?_ This is Forks, not Hollywood."

Why was he playing dumb? I needed to tell him the details, what I knew, what had happened.

"Wait, did you say Bella?"

"Yeah,"I said, frowning a little,"I-"

"When were you talking to her?"

His voice was urgent, and I was mildly perplexed with this, but I answered,"I got coffee with her this morning, and I was talking with her about this and even she said-"

But he cut me off suddenly, his voice sounding grave,"Taj, I need you to stay away from her. Whatever she's said, just let it go. It's not real, it doesn't matter."

"What? Why?"I asked, bewildered,"It sounds like it matters."

"Well, it doesn't,"Jacob replied,"I don't want you around her."

My annoyance was growing, what right did he have to tell me what to do? "Why, because she's the only one that's giving some kind of explanation to what's been going on?"

Yes, I had snapped at him, and almost regretted it, almost. But he wasn't being fair.

"There's nothing going on Taj!"Jake snapped back, but he paused,"I'd just, I'd feel better if you didn't hang around with her."

I shook my head in annoyance,"Another mystery,"I muttered,"So you expect me not to hang around with anyone and think that everything's okay? I'm not stupid Jacob."

"I never said that,"Jake rebuked,"I expect you to listen to me as your friend."

"Oh, _now_ you want to be friends?"I said, getting more annoyed by the minute,"Well friends tell friends the truth. They don't lie and try to regulate their lives and not even hang out with them."

Jacob was trying to sputter a reply on the phone but I spoke over him, my tone cutting and smooth.

"If you don't want to talk to me Jacob, then that's fine. But I have to find out what's going on for myself."

And before he could say anything else, I hung up.

_That's that_, I thought miserably to myself. I felt bad about getting into a fight with Jacob, about snapping at him, but I wasn't wrong. I was upset and angry about him lying to me, like everyone else. I had had higher expectations of him. But then having him tell me who I could and couldn't talk to? What nerve! I would just have to call Bella and then we'd finally get to the bottom of this. And as for Jacob and the Quileute group.. Well, it had settled itself out. Being by yourself wasn't so tough after a while.

I stood up after a few moments and started to walk down the crowded sidewalk, the bright displays of flowers and happy atmosphere not affecting me at all. I felt oddly disconnected from everything, like I was carrying some type of curse. It was nearly nine o'clock now, so I decided to just walk to work instead of trying to get a ride home. It would be nice to have something to do to take my mind off of everything that was going on. I walked along the winding streets, finally reaching the convenience store, there was still a good group of the morning rush, and it didn't surprise me to see my Mom at the register instead of Leah.

My Mom looked at me after she finished helping the last customer in line,"Where were you this morning? I was waiting for you to get home."

"I went out for coffee with a friend after I got back from riding,"I told her, walking behind the counter and putting my vest on.

"Oh,"My Mom said, a little surprised, but brightening,"Who?"

"Her name is Bella,"I told her,"She used to know Jacob."

"Well, that's nice,"She said, a little strained,"See? I told you you'd make new friends."

I only nodded, signing into my register. _Not quite for the reasons I was looking for_, I thought, but asked,"Where's Leah?"

"She's off today,"My Mom answered, marking some items with a price gun that had been sitting on the counter,"She's going to be working a different shift now."

I pursed my lips, looking at my Mom silently, knowing why Leah had been assigned a different shift,"Mom, why are you doing this?"I asked. I could have, probably should have let this go, but I already wasn't in a good mood to begin with. And how long would they all keep this up for?

"Doing what, sweetheart?"She asked innocently, looking at me as if she had no idea what I was talking about.

"You know what,"I said, already getting frustrated. This was not a good way to start the morning, but I was tired of this, of being treated differently.

She sighed and shook her head, going back to her work,"Not now, Taj."

I glared at her,"Then when, Mom? You know this is just going to keep going on until someone lets me know what's going on, then we can all just move on. This isn't right, shutting me off from everyone isn't going to protect me."

Well, Bella had already sort of let me know what was going on, or 'implied' at least. It would be different hearing it from my Mom, more real, and yet worse. But I'd rather know the truth.

She slammed the price gun back on the counter, fixing me with a cool stare,"Taj, you can badger me at home, but I am not in the mood to discuss this right now, at work. We have customers to take care of. Now, I'd greatly appreciate it if you focused and did your job today without bringing this up again."

An unsteady silence hung between us, but I finally nodded,"Okay."

Arguing wouldn't help anything right now, and though I was annoyed that now she'd even taken Leah away at work, leaving me in complete isolation, I didn't want to upset her anymore.

"Thank you,"She said primly, picking up the box full of potato chips that she'd just re-priced, along with the price gun, and walked away. But I didn't have time to sulk or ponder my thoughts, because another group of customers came in.

The day went by even more slowly without Leah around to talk too, and I missed her. I found myself anxiously glancing at the clock, wanting to get off for the day so I could go home. Maybe I'd even call Bella, just to finish this. But deep down, I was dreading doing so, and you could only take so much in one day.

By the time my shift was over a heavy thunderstorm was starting, ominous thunder heads rolling in as lightning lit up the skies and the wind whipped through the air. It probably wouldn't last too long, but my Mom dropped me off at home, and by then the rain was coming down in sheets. I ran up the front steps into the dark house, listening to the rain pelt the windows and the wind race through the trees outside as I walked into the kitchen, glad to be out of the car with my Mother. The unsteady silence had hung between us throughout the day the same way the storm had hovered outside. I wondered when it would end. All she had said was that Kyle had gone over a friend's house and wouldn't be back until dinner.

So, I had the house to myself.

I went up to my room and didn't even bother grabbing my laptop to see if Jess had E-mailed me, I didn't feel much like talking right now. Instead I fell back on my bed and listened to the rain patter on the roof as thunder growled outside and lightning lit up the room every so often. It calmed my nerves and I thought about the storms back in Seattle, remembering one time when Jess and I had gotten caught out in the rain on one of the hottest days a couple of Summers ago, a huge storm had started up in the mid-afternoon and we didn't even bother running home, jumping in puddles and letting the rain soak us through. Acting like kids again. You just need those days sometimes, to just remember that you only have the moment. And soon, Jacob Black and Quileute legends were the farthest things from my mind..

.._I was in the forest again, alone in that widespread ocean of lush green_,_ the sounds of the pattering rain and thunder were muffled now, a world away. I got up slowly, looking straight ahead at a small worn path barely noticeable amongst the monstrous weeds and ferns. This was no time to lay around, I was looking for something; but this time I was waiting for it. It was looking for me, too._

_It wasn't Eric, that much I knew, there was no fear, no apprehension here. And that was when I saw a blur in the distance, a flash of silver-white leaping amongst the green. I stood still, my eyes locked on the thing as it leaped and ran towards me, it's movements effortless, it was almost odd how quiet the forest stayed. Finally, the thing slowed to a trot and stopped on the spot that I had been looking at before, staring at me meaningfully with blazing golden eyes. _

_I kneeled down to get a better look at it, even though there was no need to, it wasn't a small dog, it was actually a rather large wolf. Still, it felt better to be eye-to-eye with the creature. It stood silently, still staring at me, it's fur was white, but not fluffy looking like some of those Arctic wolves you saw on the discovery channel playing in the snow. It's paws looked a little too big for it's body, as did it's ears. But it moved with a silent grace that a predator needs as it walked over to me, not looking at the ground but staring me dead in the eyes. It was mildly unnerving to be watched like that, and the wolf stopped only a few inches from my face, close enough for me to see my reflection in it's eyes before it turned around again, going toward the path it had come from._

_I had started to get up when I felt a cold grip on my shoulder, startling me like a splash of water and I looked up quickly, but it was only Bella. Her vice-like grip slackened on my shoulder and she stepped back, that inhuman quality about her screaming. I stood up and took a step back from her._

"_Well,"She said, her eyes not on me, but on the wolf somewhere behind me,"You can't stop now."_

_I took another step back, glancing at the wolf, who was watching Bella now, then looked back to her and nodded. I wasn't sure of whether to say thanks or not, and finally decided to say nothing at all, because the creature had caught my gaze again and had taken off down the path in front of me, running. _

_And without a second glance at Bella Swan, I did the same._

_As we traveled along the path I realized how agile the wolf was, darting over decaying logs or under patches of brambles without skipping a beat. I stayed close behind though, making sure the flash of white was always in sight. I was a little surprised that I wasn't sweating or out of breath, but this was only a dream after-all right?_

_Was it?_

_I wasn't quite sure where we were going, but knew only to keep on the path, and follow the wolf. It didn't stop until we came to a low, but wide crevice that a small river ran through silently. The wolf leaped down onto the muddy bank and I followed, keeping my balance, waiting to keep going. But the wolf had stopped, it's stance was rigid, some of it's fur standing on end. It was looking down the river on the left side, though I couldn't see anything that could have been bothering it. The crevice kept running in both directions as far as the eye could see until it faded into darkness. I stood for a few moments, looking, but then started to cross the river, walking over to the other side, waiting for the wolf to start running again._

_But it did quite the opposite._

_I stopped as I heard a low, threatening sound coming from behind me. I turned around and the wolf was still in the same defensive stance, still staring, but a low growl rumbled from it's throat. The volume grew into a snarl and suddenly the wolf snapped at the air, I thought of it's jaws and shivered. It lowered itself, as though getting ready to spring and it growled again. What the hell was going on?_

_I took a few steps towards the wolf again, the water soaking through my shoes now, I stared into the darkness and still didn't see anything, the wolf kept up it's banter though, raising it's head as it let out a hollow howl, and then I was being pulled away..._

I opened my eyes but I wasn't in my room anymore, I was sitting outside in the cool night air, I could hear the crickets chirping calmly, the sounds of the earlier thunderstorm completely gone. I was in the driveway, propped up against the back of one of the cars. I looked down, seeing that the edges of my jeans were muddy and wet, along with my shoes, since they had been resting in one of the large puddles that would patch the driveway after it rained. I hugged my arms and just as quickly stopped, realizing I had broken out into a cold sweat and that my pulse was just slowing down from the dream. I took a deep breath and my stomach protested a little. How had I gotten out here? And how _long_ had I been out here?

I was probably going to catch a cold if I had been out in the rain, but how..

I started to get up quickly and just as quickly regretted it, my head spinning. I sat down again. Okay, sitting was fine. I rested my head back against the bumper of the car and closed my eyes, taking a steady breath.

"Taj?"

A gruff, familiar voice along with the sound of footsteps caused me to open my eyes.

Ted was walking towards me, his face unreadable in the dark, though his eyes seemed very serious.

"How are ya feeling, kiddo?"He asked, looking at me.

"Terrible,"I answered as another wave of nausea rolled over my stomach.

"A bolt of lightning hit one of the telephone poles in town, big power outage,"Ted told me,"Your Mom asked me to come back here and check on ya, but when ya didn't answer me when I called ya I went upstairs and you didn't look good at all."

"I was going to bring you over to Naomi's so she could check you out, but I had to take some things out of my truck,"Ted finished, watching me. I looked Ted over for the first time since he had started talking to me, and something seemed..off about him. His voice sounded calm, concerned, but his expression didn't seem like it. It was business-like, serious. His eyes broke away from mine first and he glanced around us, as if he was looking for someone, and then he asked me.

"What were ya dreaming about kid? It seemed pretty interesting,"He said offhandedly.

Some part of me didn't want to tell him,"I don't really remember,"I lied.

"You were mumbling something about wolves and that Jacob kid,"Ted pressed,"Is something going on Taj?"

"..I..don't remember,"I said again, because it seemed to be all I could manage to say. The world was spinning, I rested my head back against the bumper again and closed my eyes, hoping the feeling would pass.

"You'll be okay kid,"Ted told me, though he sounded grave,"Let me just get something from my truck, call Naomi.."

When I willed myself to open my eyes again, he was gone. A cool Summer breeze came but felt uncomfortable on my face, I sighed slowly, and then I head a soft whuffle from my left. I turned my body with some effort and looked over towards the trees. The wolf was there, not too far from the shadows of the trees, silently watching me, it's fur liquid silver in the moonlight. The breeze played with it's fur. It's ears flicked once and it made the same noise again, a bark muffled in it's throat.

Was I hallucinating?

The wolf cocked it's head and whined, looking in the direction that Ted had walked off. I thought of Bella from my dream, her cruel beauty raving it's inhuman nature.

_You can't stop now._

I stood slowly, grabbing onto the back of the car to steady myself before walking towards the wolf. My sickness had subsided to a dull throbbing in my head, like a pulsing migraine, and I'd stop for a moment when my stomach flopped uncomfortably. The wolf darted into the dark sanctuary of the trees, waiting for me to catch up. Thankfully the wolf only went as fast as a trot and it picked it's way along a worn, easy path into the woods. I had no idea where we were going, maybe this was another dream. With how sick I felt I was hoping it was. Any minute I'd wake up and be back in bed, with the rain pattering on the roof, the thunderstorm reduced to a Summer shower. Either way, a voice in the back of my head told me to follow the wolf. Whether it was a gut instinct or a matter of my sanity from how terrible I was feeling, well, I was leaning towards the gut instinct, and hopefully it would result in a good one.

I'd trip over a root every so often, scraping my knees or landing ungracefully in a puddle. It wasn't long before my jeans were ruined and my hands were scraped and dirty. The wolf would glance back at me every so often, it's golden eyes blazing in the dark. I wondered what it was thinking.

It only led me deeper and deeper into the woods, the trees' branches clawing at my shirt and arms, like they didn't want me to leave. I fell with a surprised sound, thinking I had tripped over another root, I didn't bother to get up this time, spots flashing in front of my eyes. I rested my head against the cool ground, focusing on my breathing. My stomach ache had now aggrandized to my whole abdomen feeling sore, like I had done hundreds of sit-ups. Even though I had only been walking, if you would even call it that, I was still sweating. I was almost positive I had a fever by now.

I glanced back to look at what I ahd tripped over and saw that it wasn't a root, or even a branch at all, it was a pair of shoes. I reached back and picked one up curiously, who would leave their shoes out in the woods? The wolf had stopped and was watching me again, it's gaze unreadable. Maybe some kid had forgotten them after some wild party. Ha, here I was, stuck at some party site again. I tossed the shoe away, not quite able to make out it's features in the dark.

My stomach rolled again, causing me to grimace. I struggled to take off my sweatshirt and toss it aside, not caring if it got dirty or if I got even more sick. I just wanted to feel a cool breeze on my skin, even though the mildly cool air wasn't helping at all.

God, how had I gotten so sick? I had been fine when I had gotten home, and I hadn't eaten anything out of the ordinary. The wolf had now decided to sit down leisurely, watching me with an unfading watchfulness.

I thought briefly about Ted, he was probably wondering where I had gone. How long had I even been out here? Minutes? Hours? I had no idea.

I didn't even know where I was, or how to get back, at least not in the dark. But then again, moving wasn't really even on my mind. I'd have to just sit this out, wait to get better after a while, and then I'd get up again. Maybe they were even out looking for me now, soon I'd hear them calling me, and then they'd find me and bring me home and everything would be alright. I knew this wasn't a dream now, you couldn't feel this sick in a dream. You couldn't feel the sweat on your skin or hear the branches of the trees creaking above you. But this wolf..was I going insane?

I looked at the wolf again, remembering the pendant, the story. Maybe this was just a way of my mind dealing with the stress. Maybe I was just hallucinating, like I had thought before, maybe this was just a really bad fever.

"What do you want from me?"I finally groaned, meeting the golden eyes of the wolf.

It stayed ever silent, cocking it's head to the side a little as it looked at me, as if trying to understand what I was saying.

"I couldn't have just moved someplace normal, huh, Ashkii?"I murmured, just saying the name for the hell of it. Ashkii, _the White Wolf._ ..Maybe this did mean something.

The wolf got up and walked over to me, nudging my cheek with it's cold, wet nose. It's whiskers tickled my cheek briefly, whining softly.

..This wasn't a hallucination. My stomach clenched suddenly and I groaned, tightening up. A flash like fire ripped through me for a moment, the image of a pack of wolves running through the snow, silent, graceful hunters. The feeling passed as quickly as it had come and I came face to face with the golden eyes again.

..Who was I kidding here?

I quickly scrambled up a little and got sick next to the tree closest to me. I wiped my face with the back of my hand, moving again afterwards and falling to the soil ungracefully, all of my energy fading from me. The wolf stood close to me and I reached up and stroked it's cool, silky fur.

"I just want to go home,"I sighed, sounding like a little kid after a long day at the amusement park. But that was all that I really wanted, just to feel better, just to be home.

..But I couldn't.

The wolf looked at me almost pitifully and moved away, taking a few steps down the path, knowing my thoughts. Or maybe I knew it's thoughts.

..Now I knew what was going on. Why I felt like hell, why the wolf was leading me away.

Because I wasn't _safe_ anymore.

The same flash as before hit me again, bringing with it the same painful wave of white-hot heat. It felt like standing next to a roaring bonfire, or walking along a narrow path through one. My muscles were screaming this time, like I had pulled them, but I had faded out again and more images were flashing in front of me at a faster rate, blurring together like clips from movies.

_Eric and I playing hide and seek in the woods behind Naomi's house, he was faster but I was better at hiding._

"_We'll have to wait until the full moon.."_

_Jacob and I arriving at the bonfire, all of our friends gathered there..and I was considered a part of the group again._

_Jamie's sultry smile flashed at me as I leaned against the car, her bright brown eyes had a mischievous glint in them, like she could read me. We had just been talking about the racing over the weekend, how I denied how much I loved it. She walked towards the school, her boyfriend's arm wrapped around her waist. "There's an animal in all of us, Taj, you can't always keep it locked up,"She said over her shoulder before turning her back on me._

_A boy running through the snow in the mountains, his face distraught, blood on his hands._

_And Naomi's comforting voice,_

"_They lived in the mountains.."_

When I came around again I was screaming, yes, screaming from the pain, from the twisting of my muscles and the throbbing in my head. I couldn't even focus on the lantern eyes of the wolf. There was only this pain, this fire, and surely it would take me. And suddenly it stopped, like someone had flicked a switch for the cruel game. I caught my breath and listened, surely someone had heard me screaming.

But there was only the whisper of leaves turning in the breeze, the soft ruffling of wings somewhere. The wolf still waited for me, and though I was exhausted, I got up and started to plod after it.

Because, inscrutable pain or not, I had to keep going.

Whatever I turned into by the end of the night, I had to be as far away from everyone as possible.

I thought of what I had last heard, about the mountains. That's where we would go.

The wolf kept walking, following a path and sometimes turning off of it at random times, but by how dense the trees were becoming I knew we were going deeper into the woods. I did my best to keep up now, trying to focus to avoid roots, and keep my mind off of the burning pain. As we walked I thought about what I had talked about with Bella this morning, even though it felt like years had passed since then. I remembered the wolf charm on her bracelet and now I knew that she must have known about the werewolf thing, but she had wanted Jake to talk to me about it. Anger pricked at me as I thought about the argument with him on the phone, what was with him and Bella anyways?

Well, it wasn't any of my business, but he had _lied_ to me.

They all had.

They could have talked to me, could have warned me. They could have explained everything to me.

But this was better. I actually wanted things this way.

Because I didn't want to go home, not like this. I wasn't... _me_ anymore.

I already felt different, deep down. I just wasn't.. right.

And maybe I didn't want to have anything to do with this werewolf thing anyways, it wasn't something I wanted to embrace. No, I'd be better off alone. There would be no rules, no restrictions, only my integrity to guide me.

And if I was dangerous, then there wouldn't be anyone to hurt.

And no one to hurt me.

People weren't reliable anyways, who needed them? I thought about Jacob, about his bright smile, about how I had confided in him and I became more infuriated with him and myself. I was getting tired of believing, of being led on. I was getting so angry that I started shaking and I stopped and grabbed a tree trunk for support, feeling like I was going to get sick again. My head was swimming, my heart beat pounding in my chest, the tempo much too fast to be considered healthy, and then the blinding pain came once again, and though the blurred images and voices came again, now almost too fast or too loud to make out, I knew I was screaming.

I could only catch glimpses now, fragments.

_Quil's cold, dark gaze, matching mine,"I don't want you around him either."_

_Long, white fangs, flashing in a growl from pulled back pink lips, unreadable gold eyes locked on something; holding only animalistic rage, instinct._

"_You wanted to come, Taj,"Flickering golden light from the large bonfire glinted off of Jamie's tan skin, her withering gaze on me though she still danced to the music, hips swaying in time with the pulsating bass. She was one of those girls that was even pretty when she was angry, and you could almost hate her for it. "Stop being so nervous, everything's fine, just relax.." ..But nothing had been right that night.._

_Jacob's flashing white smile and bright eyes, his expression lit up as he laughed._

_A small, dimly lit office, sitting on a leather chair across from a large polished oak desk. The counselor looked at me from his papers,"Apparently you haven't been getting much sleep. It could be insomnia."_

_I stayed silent, I was always silent. Not quiet, no, this wasn't a peaceful settling, not the comfortable fall between friends in limbo of conversations. This was silence, an animal that had taken to dwelling in our house and clawed at everyone, suffocating and robbing us all; especially at the dinner table. Now there was only the chink of silverware and plates and that constant beast which stayed right next to me in the empty seat. _

_But this thing followed me as well, like a loyal dog, constantly sitting at my feet._

"_If you keep all of this bottled up, it's going to come back to haunt you one day,"The counselor said, now leaning back in his chair, watching me almost thoughtfully.._

_..But it already was.._

Soon I couldn't tell one image from the other, it was all a blur of color, just a rush of heat, blocking out everything, blocking out the pain that had gotten to be too much to handle. I could feel myself changing, shifting, muscles tightening, my jaw lengthening, becoming more narrow. And soon my screams became snarls and whimpers, foreign to my ears.

And the beast had finally beat me


	14. Chapter 14: Reflective Voices

14.Reflective Voices

After Eric's death, my parents, and teachers in school had suggested grief counseling. They had suggested it for Kyle too, and he had gone without comment. I had put up a fuss about it though, I had told them I was fine, I was just quiet, upset over the loss of my older brother, how did they expect me to act?

I couldn't stand the looks I had gotten afterwards though, at school, at home, from friends and family. There were hardly any smiles on greeting, and if there were, they weren't genuine, they were sad, or forced, thought of beforehand, never given without thought, never in their eyes. It was worse at school than at home, gazes avoided mine, there were murmurs, whispers for the first few days back. It felt like when they looked at me, when a friend was in the room with me, they didn't see _me_ anymore.. they saw what had happened. They had come in contact with a ghost and weren't sure how to act.

I'm more than a bystander.

But after seeing the counselor for a few months I started to get more worried looks, more pitiful gazes from teachers sometimes, but mostly from my Mom. Her face pinched with worry. My Mom, whom had lost her son because of her reckless daughter, was losing sleep over me. I remembered her running into the police station, looking almost ill, and hugging me. She was _glad_ that I was _okay_.

She had never been angry, never bitter towards me because of what I had done. She had never mentioned it, hadn't even grounded me.

That hurt the worst.

They were worried, I had heard from phone conversations, because I wasn't saying anything, the counselor wasn't 'getting through' to me. He was a little concerned, but he said nothing was wrong otherwise, other than the mild insomnia. Maybe I dealt with it better by not dealing with it at all.

I hadn't wanted to talk about Eric, I hadn't been ready to back then. But that specific meeting was one I would always remember,

"_If you keep all of this bottled up, it's going to come back to haunt you one day.."_

It reminded me of what Jamie had said that one morning when she had been walking into school, about there being an animal in all of us. And there was; it was the adrenaline, the fight in all of us, the glory that lusted to be recognized, to see the sun and have the sun stare back at it.. and admire for a moment. It was composed of risk, of power. And you did have to let it out eventually, whether the beast won in the fight against yourself, or you just wanted to live without consequence for a moment.

Not to say this was a bad thing, that animal could actually help us in certain ways. It could show us our full potential, help chase away those last few dregs of fear and uncertainty, whereas those factors would keep us locked up in ourselves forever.

It was something that acted on selfish impulse, and selfish impulse alone.

.. But this animal could have negative consequences as well, if it was let out for too long. Or if it was acting in rage.

Because when a beast that feeds on rage for so long breaks free of it's cage, it wants to get rid of it's anger, and so it runs free. On selfish impulse.

..This was what I was afraid of.

When I came around I was first aware of the soft drifting of birdsong in the trees overhead, and that my whole body was sore, like I'd been thrown in a dryer for a few hours. My headache had receded to a dull throb, definitely not as bad as I had been, but still crappy. The sleep hadn't helped at all, having tossed and turned and drifted from one dream to the next, each as unsettling, if not more so, than the last. But I couldn't remember any of them, only the white wolf with golden eyes had been my constant companion; my shadow. I groaned and slowly opened my eyes, and blinked a few times.

My vision was..different now. Blurred and a little distorted at the edges, like I was looking through a dome, but the colors and details of everything stood out just as vibrantly, if not better. I lifted my head a little and saw the fingers of golden gray dawn pulling back the indigo curtain of the night, it was light enough out to see the dark green of the canopy above and the trees around me. It must have been just around dawn.

..Which meant I had been out here the whole night. They must have been looking for me by now, especially after having left Ted like that. ..God, that felt like years ago. I'd have to get a move on if I didn't want them to find me.

But then I looked down again and realized that they wouldn't recognize me anyways.

Because a pair of large, white paws and muscled forelegs had replaced my pale hands and arms. A surprised yell came without thinking and instead came out as a small yelp. I scrambled up into a sitting position, feeling changed, powerful shoulder muscles flex. I should have been more prepared for this, knowing what to expect, but it was still shocking.

I turned my head, and instead of seeing my body, the muddy t-shirt and dark jeans, I saw a much larger, lean, white body of a dog..or a wolf. Large back legs and paws instead of calves and feet, and a white tail. ..Or maybe a small horse, now that I thought about size range. I thought about it for a moment and my tail twitched, I moved it side to side, sweeping some pine needles off the path.

I jumped up, a little freaked out, and a whine came from my throat. I needed to get a better look at myself..but how?

A river! Or even a stream would do, something to see my reflection.

...There was a river somewhere to the far left, up ahead. How could I even _hear_ that? I couldn't believe it, but I could hear the splash of water over rocks faintly.

Oh..wait. I flicked my ears, moving one all the way to the side, then shivered, shaking my fur.

I had to stop doing that.

I looked around the area, there was nothing different about it, just another lonely path in the woods. And that's when I noticed the wolf was gone. I looked around curiously, glancing under some of the bushes nearby, but it was nowhere to be found.

I looked at the soil, searching for prints, but there were only mine left in the soil, which were obnoxiously huge by the way. But then again, I wasn't a wolf.I wondered where the other wolf had gone, but maybe it had served it's purpose, maybe I was supposed to follow it simply so it would get me away from everyone. Well, at least someone had helped me out.

Now it was off to the river.

..I'd just have to get used to walking first.

I took a few awkward steps without falling and paused. This would take some getting used to. Finally, I continued slowly down the path.

I turned off the path and picked my way along the shrubs and roots of the large trees, following the sound of the river. The sound got louder with every few feet, so thankfully I was going in the right direction, and getting there wouldn't take too long. I was going at a slow pace, but I was still sore and tired from yesterday.

The trees diminished to willy saplings and brush as I came to a small ridge, below it was a low, but wide crevice which fell to a muddy bank and the river. The water was moving at a slow pace, but picked up and splashed over groups of flat stones. I leaped down lightly, wincing as my sore muscles took the impact, but then walked over to the edge of the river, my paws sinking into the cool mud. I glanced around but didn't see any other animals, and then I realized that this was the exact same river from my dream. I must be going in the right direction to reach the mountains then. The full journey would probably take a few days though.

I lowered my head and focused on the surface of the water, the sun now glinting off of it. Then..I saw my reflection.

There's always a difference between hearing about something and seeing it, coming in contact with the real thing. Because, I think, when you actually see it, you can't deny that it's there. That it's real. There's no running from it afterwards. But this hadn't been something that I was trying to outrun, it was something that I had wanted to know about. And finally, here was what I had asked for.

The angular, sleek furred face of a wolf stared back at me with wide, expressionless gray eyes. It was the most massive wolf I'd ever seen. But this was _me_, this was _my_ face, _my_ body. No one would know who I was if they saw me, they'd probably turn and run.

No more pitiful looks.

No more forced smiles.

I thought about all of the times that I'd looked in the mirror, seen a heart-shaped, pale face with a small nose, small lips, sad, cold blue-gray eyes. Dark blonde hair that fell in a side bang and was usually at shoulder length. I couldn't believe that this was me. This wasn't a trick?

I tried to smile. Large, bright white teeth sneered at me, sharp teeth. _Bone crushing _teeth.

I hurriedly backed away.

Was this a gift or a curse?

I knew from the stories that werewolves weren't bloodthirsty killers, they had been protectors of the Quileute tribe. They had been viewed as powerful warriors. But not all of the stories were glamorous, not all of them were about glory and heroes.

There were tales of how the warriors couldn't control themselves around their friends or loved ones in their form. It had to do with the anger, the beast that raged inside of them. There was always a risk of hurting someone.

And I didn't want to take that risk.

I had heard stories of how some Quileute members had left the tribe after they had turned, they felt they were a danger to the tribe. I knew they'd come after me, try to tell me to come home. But I wasn't going to, how could I trust a pack that had already lied to me? I didn't want to be a part of this, of this made up Quileute glory. It would be tough at first, but it would be for the best. I wasn't going to be a monster.

I had a choice, and I knew what I was going to do.

"Easy now.."

A gruff, steady voice made my neck almost snap as I turned to see who it was.

Ted walked towards me carefully along the bank, holding a large rifle in his hands, the barrel stared at me as the morning sun glinted off of it's sleek black surface. The gun must have been some type of Winchester, something made for serious hunting. He must have been out with the group looking for me. For a moment I was too shocked to move, but then my senses kicked in and I scrambled back, lowering my head and whining.

"Ted, Ted, stop! It's ME! It's Taj!" I started saying, but then I remembered he couldn't understand me, my pleas only coming out as growls and whimpers.

Wow, I was a lousy werewolf. Not only was I cowering back, but I hadn't even heard him walk up. And then I remembered my dream, about the white wolf growling and snarling at the river, something I couldn't _see_.

But I didn't want to hurt Ted, I needed to make him understand. No, no I needed to leave, to get away, or scare him off.

I lowered into a defensive stance and growled, the sound even frightening myself for a minute. But I only growled louder, snarling, I felt my muscles tighten and fur start to pick up, stand on end.

_Go on_, I thought desperately, _go away!_

If he left, he wouldn't be tempted to follow me.

But Ted, of course with my luck, did the opposite. His gaze was determined as I heard a soft _click_.

New plan!

I turned and bolted, scrambling across the river and leaping up the bank. I heard the bang of the gun and felt something brush over my back as I ran into the safety of the trees. I kept running, glancing over my shoulder to see Ted scrambling up the bank after me, I heard the gun go off again and a bush next to me rustled as the bullet disappeared into it. I picked up speed, my claws tearing at the ground. I had to throw him off of my trail.

I glanced back again and saw he was running after me. No, he had slowed down a little..I could outrun him! I'd just turn up here and-

One of my paws caught on something and I tumbled over myself, yelping with surprise. I heard something snap and suddenly I was hoisted up into the air, and before I could even blink, I was swinging gently back and forth in the air, caught and tangled up in a net.

Well _this_ was embarrassing, and uncomfortable.

I struggled in the net, trying to move, but only became more tangled up.

Ted walked over more at ease now, smiling a little to himself. A hunter whom had cornered it's prey. He took something from his belt, a small vile. A tranquilizer, and began to put it into the barrel of his gun.

I _had_ to get out of here.

I looked around frantically and spotted the levy and the rope that was holding me up. I could snap it if I got over to it..

I quickly started to swing myself, pushing myself back and forth against the net, in the direction of Ted. Momentum quickly began to build up, I pushed my maw through one of the holes in the net, snapping at the rope that was just out of my reach..

Ted raised his gun to his shoulder, chuckling a little as he watched me.

"Easy kiddo.."

I heard the soft _click_ again, now only the trigger was left..

I snarled in annoyance and pushed myself harder, finally reaching the rope, I clamped my jaws on it and pulled back as roughly as I could, feeling the string tighten and then snap in my mouth just as the gun went off. I heard something hiss through the air and then plunge into my shoulder, like someone had stabbed a shot into me.

I snarled in rage as I fell, net and all, towards Ted. He gave out a call of surprise before he crumpled to the ground.

The net slackened and loosened and I shook it off of me quickly, darting through the gap and running off through the trees before Ted could even get up.

I didn't know what direction I was going in but I didn't stop running for a half hour, darting through the rest of the forest and a low meadow as the August sun warmed my back. The tranquilizer had started to take effect less than fifteen minutes after it had hit my shoulder, slowing my pace to a more lumbering plod.

That had been _too_ close.

I had to keep going.

_Taj.._

There was too much risk of him looking for me now, and there would be more people. I had heard about how people, hikers mostly, had gone missing a few years ago and they had blamed it on wolves..or well, werewolves. Once Ted told people about finding this huge wolf in the woods, most people would blame the disappearances that had been happening on _me_. Of course, my Mom and the Quileute group would know what was really going on, which meant that they would be looking for me too.

I _had_ to get to the mountains..

_Taj..Taj! Are you okay?! I saw.._

I could hear another voice faintly in my mind, it sounded familiar, but it was so soft, I couldn't make it out.

Great, now I was hearing voices.

It must be from the tranquilizer, I was stumbling now, tripping over my own paws. I slowed to a walk, getting into the safe darkness of the trees again, another expanse of forest.

_Taj..I need to talk to you..everyone's been looking... I've been so worried.._

The voice was pleading, sounding desperate.

I slowed to walk and laid down near a boulder leaning against a large, gnarled oak tree. I just needed a rest..my muscles were killing me and my head was spinning again.

I'd just close my eyes for a few minutes and then I'd be up again, off to my destination.

_..You're going to be okay._

And then I was gone again.


	15. Chapter 15: Breakdown

**15.Breakdown**

This all felt like a dream.

I hadn't slept for the past two days, just waiting for word from anyone. I had stayed on watch, like Sam had asked everyone, but it had been hard to focus, with the full moon staring down, like a constant reminder. Only Sam had brought up Taj changing to me, saying simply that Naomi would contact him if anything happened, and then I'd be the first to know.

It had been such a weird mix of emotions, apprehensive..and even, hopeful. Yeah, hopeful. It sounded terrible even to me, _hoping_ that Taj would be like us, even suffer like us. That she would be forced to give up her own private thoughts, her lifestyle, and become a beast.

But I could _be with her_.

I knew Taj was my imprint now.. at first I had wondered what it felt like, how you knew, and I had asked Quil in the beginning, when he had found his imprint. He had said that the person was all that you could think about, the only person you wanted to be with, and it didn't matter what they were doing. He had said they just.. felt right, somehow. Like they could see eye to eye with you. Like they were an extension of yourself. He had finished with saying that it was hard to explain, it was like love.. but it wasn't at the same time.

"_You'll know when you meet them,"He had said with a grin._

And if you didn't know when you met them, you knew when you weren't with them. Not being able to even talk to Taj had been hell itself, I considered her a best friend..more than that. And ever since this whole imprint situation had come into play..Quil had become more.. cold towards me.

And I could understand why, he didn't want Taj to end up like us. I almost felt bad.

Almost.

Quil knew what it was like to have an imprint, it wasn't something that you could help, it wasn't something that you could just shut off and walk away from. I had already lost in one relationship, if I had a chance, I wouldn't-couldn't lose in this one. He would understand. It was still hard to say that, especially when he was giving me the cold shoulder. So I basically wasn't talking to either of my best friends, so you could understand that I was a little on edge.

When dawn had come that morning, I couldn't help but feel a little put-out. I knew that there was still chance for a couple of days for Taj to change, but the night of the full moon was the strongest. So I had stayed up, apprehensive, waiting.

I had been nervous when she had called me yesterday, telling me about Bella, questioning me. I still wanted to know what Bella had said to her, how much Taj had known. Even thought it had seemed to be nothing, I hadn't said anything about what was going on. I felt like a jerk, lying to her. But it was for the best. And I prayed that she stayed away from Bella.

..Because this also meant that she was a suspect for the bodies. I had talked to Quil about it after Taj had hung up, and we still didn't have definite proof that Bella, or any of the Cullens, were behind the murders. ..But now that we knew they were back.. Well, the treaty was broken.

The pack would be hunting the Cullens.

.. Which now included Bella.

This only added onto the already long list of things to worry about. But then last night Sam had contacted Quil and I when we had been in the garage, getting ready for a pack meeting; Taj was missing.

Everyone was splitting up to find her. I could still remember Naomi's face, once kind and soft, had looked ashen and grave. I had been both excited and worried, eager to find Taj, and make sure she was alright.

Because by then I had already known that she was a werewolf, the pack members could almost sense where each other was, and I could sense Taj.

.. No one had known exactly where she was, it was hard to locate new werewolves when the phase wasn't complete, it was like getting a bad radio station, there was a lot of static, but it was still there.

All we knew was that she was somewhere in the backlands, and that was still a lot of ground to cover.

So, we had started the search.

I hadn't stopped since last night, always moving, trying to tune out the static. And this morning, only a little while after dawn, I had heard her frantic thoughts, or the emotions of them at least, seen blurred images through her eyes. Someone holding up a rifle at her, the scenery flashing by as she ran. I could almost hear her heart pounding in her chest.

And so mine had started doing the same.

I knew that she had gotten away, that she had collapsed, but she was okay. And I knew exactly where she was.

I was running at top speed now, staying awake only on adrenaline; adrenaline that brought out the clarity in everything. I could be with Taj again, and once we talked, everything would be okay.

.. At least, until we would have to go and face the Cullens. But we would cross that bridge when we got there.

Taj was the main concern right now.

I bolted across the low meadow, the static fading with every step, and finally I stopped near the trees, changing back, and putting my clothes on before I walked over to the boulder where Taj was laying. She was smaller in size, as females were, her fur was a brilliant white, shining in the sun, and a little shaggy in length, but not too long, since her hair was short. It wouldn't be easy for her to blend in.

Sam had warned us to be cautious if we found Taj in her wolf form, new werewolves could always be unpredictable. I thought of Emily and shivered.

But as I looked at Taj, even like this, not as a teenage girl, but as a sleek muscled predator.. I couldn't picture her hurting me. I thought about Bella, the sly dark eyes on that sultry face..

"Taj.."I said gently, kneeling near her.

She was out cold, her jaw resting on one of her paws. I could see a few points of her ivory teeth, now narrowed down to being razor sharp.

Would she even talk to me when she woke up?

I hesitated, but then reached out and gently touched her face, felt her silky fur running under my fingers. I remembered the night at the bonfire and frowned a little to myself. I would understand if she decided not to speak to me, Taj always had that stubborn piece of her, but I had my reasons for not talking to her. I'd only wanted to protect her, after all. And if that had meant hurting her feelings in the process..well, it had been for the best. But it didn't quite matter now anyways.

_You got just what you asked for, Jake_, the thought resounded harshly in my head, the truth of it poking at me sharply. I wasn't sure whether I was more upset or exuberant to be near Taj again, this meant so many different things, and it could go in so many different directions; it was hard for me to sort it all out.

"So it happened, huh?"

I knew that voice anywhere, even though it had been years since I'd heard it, but I turned around quickly anyways, the sharp, sickly scent being a dead giveaway of who it was. I tried my best to keep my expression calm despite the pinching scent.

Bella stood a few feet behind me, and she was just as I'd remembered her, if not more beautiful. But that's what felt odd, Bella was beautiful, I'd admit that, but I wasn't attracted to her. The old feelings of lust or craving her attention were simply gone. A few rays of sun glinted off of her dark hair and her translucent skin glistened a little, and her eyes were dark, with hunger, I knew. But she seemed a little nervous, almost out of place, like the Bella I used to remember. Her arms were folded, seeming to almost hold herself together and I felt a sad smile tug at the corners of my lips, but couldn't help but wonder why she was here.

"..Yeah, it happened,"I cleared my throat, my voice sounding almost foreign to me.

Bella looked past me now, her gaze on Taj as she stepped closer,"I almost turned her into a pancake with my car, that's when we started talking. "

The air was tense and awkward, and it was making me on edge, which was already bad enough with Taj being knocked out and not knowing how she would be when she came around. I knew Bella felt awkward too, that it was forming like a brick wall between us, but neither of us would approach it, so we focused on Taj. This annoyed me a little, why were we acting like this?

And that was when I realized that for the first time ever that I didn't want Bella around, for my own benefit. I felt like she had brought the tension with her, and I felt defensive about her being close to Taj.

"So you decided to tell her?"I asked, my voice sounding a little bit more snide than I'd wanted.

Bella's gaze flashed to me questioningly, but then turned back to Taj as she kneeled near her, but stayed a good distance away from me. I watched as her face wrinkled in distaste, like she'd smelled something terrible. I knew it was Taj and I and my annoyance rose.

"I tipped her off,"Bella shrugged nonchalantly," She had the right to know, Jacob, and it doesn't matter much now anyways. She would have figured it out on her own eventually, she's quick."

She was right, it didn't matter now, but I couldn't help but pursue the factor,"Maybe, but that makes things more difficult for us now."

Bella caught my sharp tone though I'd tried to keep it discreet,"Well, then you should have told her in the first place. She was freaked out, Jacob. And I don't think that it helped at all that you and the pack were avoiding her.."

Her gaze turned to me once again, and I got a condescending, teacher-esque vibe from her that I didn't like at all. She was telling the truth of course, but that didn't mean that I enjoyed having it shoved under my nose. Plus, it really hadn't been Bella's place to open her mouth, if she hadn't said anything than it would have saved us time and worry or looking for Taj when she had run off.

"Well it isn't really your place to say, the pack doesn't get involved with the personal matters of the Cullens,"I commented coolly,"And I didn't have much of a choice in the matter of talking to her."

Bella had reached out a hand to stroke Taj's fur nervously, but her fingers pulled back and she laughed hollowly at this comment,"Oh, like when you stopped talking to me?"

A snarl tore through me and without thinking I grabbed Bella's shoulder and pulled her back roughly,"Is that why you're here? To belittle me on actions that I couldn't control?!"

At first her expression was a mix of shock and fear, and for a moment I thought I had grabbed the old Bella, but then her expression became one of rage and her eyes darkened and before I could think her hands were wrapped around my throat like steal cables, just as cold and just as tight. That's when I realized that _Bella_ could possibly snap my neck like a twig. Bella, who had been incapable of even picking up her motorcycle when it fell over.

I quickly released my grip on her shoulder and stepped back, confused and a little embarassed of my outburst. She mirrored my expression and quickly let go of my throat, scrambling back and looking at the ground. The tension was getting to both of us, that was the only reason why Bella would drag up ancient history.

"..We're different now,"Bella said after a while, so quietly that it almost sounded odd, like she was speaking a different language.

I swallowed and nodded silently, still shaken up that I'd come so close to almost hitting her. Bella hadn't been acting fair, but neither had I, and that still didn't give me any right to hit her. We had been best friends, we still _were_ best friends..or were we? Had that been part of Bella's choice? When she took Edward as her husband she gave up me as her friend?

Did the old rivalry apply to us now,too?

A soft whine came from Taj and I quickly looked down at her, her ear twitched and her eyes were half-open, her gray eyes looking dazed. I kneeled next to her again and gently stroked her fur, so intent on seeking out Taj's thoughts that I didn't even fully think about what Bella had said, or even notice her walk away.


	16. Chapter 16: A Separate Self

16. A Separate Self

Everything was coming down to simply drifting from one dream to the next, without a pause of reason.

But I was wrong about this one.

Because the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was his smile. I wondered deliriously if he knew how he looked in the light with the sun glinting off of his hair and that laid-back grin brightening his whole face. And by the way he looked at me I knew that smile was meant for me, and that made me perfectly happy. But what made things even better was that it was as if he _knew_, as if he could understand why I was happy. That I was glad that he was here, out of anyone that could have been. And instead of this embarrassing me, of making me want to be invisible, it actually almost brought peace to me that he could understand how I felt without me having to find a way to express it. He was like another part of me that could read my jumbled and disorganized thoughts in perfect order, he took the chaos and brought it to clarity.

And I could read _him_, too. It was like walking to the ends of the jetties at the beach. I was still my own person, but I could see, feel, understand his thoughts. His anxiousness from the past few days washed over me, along with his self-fury and at the same time self-longing. I saw the grief and duty of what he had become, and I felt the trademark arrogance but fun-loving personality of who he'd always been.

_..This is..such a weird dream.._I spoke out amongst the washed canvas of feelings and thoughts that were just a blur of colors that held it's own pin-point of meaning. It was like being tossed in the waves, but I could still point out everything if you asked me too. None the less, everything felt fuzzy. I blinked and looked at him, there was so much going on even with the distance between us.

He seemed to laugh a little, _So you understand?_ He reached out and gently stroked my fur with his fingertips briefly.

Of course I understood. I knew within those few minutes that Jacob and I were imprints, and if I denied that I was denying part of myself. We were two different lights, we were one and the same. I knew that deep down he'd liked me ever since that first day that I'd moved in, that that was the day he'd made the connection. It was a relief to know that I wasn't a complete fool for thinking about him, for wondering if he cared about me the same way that I cared about him. But at the same time I wasn't dedicated at his side like some wandering puppy, but that I simply wanted to be with him. This wasn't the same as some teenage crush, being all giggly and high on yourself. But some part of me just needed to be with him and screamed out against myself at the thought of running away. I just accepted him completely, the good and the bad. It was unconditional love, at least, that's the best way I could describe it. I questioned the meaning of having an imprint, of what it was exactly, although Jacob probably already knew what I was thinking. I'd heard so many stories describing some of the werewolf legends, but none of them seemed quite as real as this. It was funny how many times you heard of something but didn't really quite understand it or believe it until it happened.

_I never thought it would be quite like this._

He only smiled, _No one does, it all takes some getting used to._

_I never thought things would turn out this way,_ I thought rapidly, looking at my paws. I thought about growing up with Mel, about going to school and spending holidays with the family, none of it seemed to fit with right now. That felt like a separate life.

I could feel an empathic rush from Jacob, I looked at his expression to see it had become more sympathetic, _Are you okay?..What happened, anyways?_

The second question was a rapid afterthought.

_Ted found me by the river and hit me with a tranquilizer,_ I replied, not answering his first question.

_A tranquilizer? Probably to get you to stop running, it must have fallen out though, I don't see one on you. Everyone's been worried Taj, we've been looking for you ever since last night, your mom went up to your room and said you were missing._

_I don't get it though, I was fine when it was a full moon out and I was at Naomi's, I _replied, watching Jacob I felt a little wary to Jacob's explanation for Ted, but it made sense. Still, the shotgun had been a little bit much.

_The change can happen a day or so before or after the full moon, not everything is exact,_ Jacob replied, adding, _Come on, we should get you home. Your mom is going crazy, and you need rest._

I slowly got up to my feet yeah people, I know, paws, and my limbs felt heavy, my thoughts were still a little fuzzy. It would be nice to sleep it all off, but I wasn't intending to go home to do so. Before I could ask Jacob, he quickly thought.

_Just let go of your feelings, close your thoughts and just calm down.._He then bent down to a sack tied around his ankle and opened it, taking out some clothes and a similar sack.

_Your mom gave me these in case I found you, your going to need the bag too, from now on, _He dropped the bag and my clothes on the ground before walking over to stand by some trees, his back facing me to give me privacy.

I watched him curiously, but then did as he said. I closed my eyes and just breathed, blocking out the jumble of thoughts and emotions that fogged my mind, it took a couple of tries to do, but soon all I really listened to were the sounds around me; the birds chirping softly, the whisper of leaves in the trees. The process of changing into a werewolf was the opposite of changing back, the process of turning had been rushed and on edge, not to mention painful. But changing back was slower and more distinct, it was almost like exhaling.

When I opened my eyes again I was standing, I looked at my pale hands and sighed in relief, then glanced at Jacob and changed hurriedly, putting the sack around my ankle. It was nice to be in clothes again, but I was sure my hair looked like a mess. The tranquilizer had hit me in the calf of my right leg, and left a nice purple bruise there, not to mention my leg was nearly numb. Oh well, now on to other things.

Then, while he was still facing the other way, I turned and began to walk away. Or at least attempt to.

"Hey!"Jacob called, his thoughts buzzing and confused, he gently grabbed my shoulder.

"Where are you going?"He spun me around to face him, his expression quizzical.

"Not home,"I answered bravely, clearing my throat.

"What-Taj, why?"He asked, but he already understood.

I turned and continued to walk but he walked alongside me,"Listen, I know this is hard to accept, but.."

"Hey, look at me!"He grabbed my arm and turned me to face him again, his brows furrowed in mild annoyance.

I avoided his gaze and folded my arms across my chest, waiting for his explanation so I could leave. Good grief, how was I going to get rid of him _now?_There was no way I could just take off, he would catch up. And even though I was still mad at him, at all of them, I was glad to see him, glad to be talking to him again. I'd feel bad about just leaving him. But..it was hard to manage exactly how I felt, everything felt muddled together, and Jacob's humming thoughts didn't help at all.

"Listen,"He said softly,"I know this is tough. And I know that we all denied this and I'm sorry, but we weren't sure about you and we didn't want to risk anything. But you're not alone Taj, everyone is going to help you understand and cope with this. And so am I."

His warm brown eyes searched mine and he smiled a little, gently holding my chin with his thumb,"Everything's okay now, it'll all be just like it was before, but better."

I could have stood forever like that, could have even found reassurance in what he said. But how could he _say_ it? How could things be normal after this? I was actually surprised I wasn't freaked out by even being able to talk to Jacob telepathically.

I pulled back from him, shaking my head,"How can you even say that? How is this better? How can you say that everything is _okay_ now?"

He opened his mouth to speak but I wasn't done with my rant,"You completely ignore me for a week and then expect everything to be fine? And how can I expect everyone to be as helpful and reassuring as you say, how can I even trust you all? I don't want to be _a part _of this."

"We were protecting you Taj, you know we can't just go off telling everyone we're werewolves. I didn't have a say in it, Taj, it's just the way things are, and I'm sorry, okay?"Jacob said,"It's honesty from here on out, I promise. And all of us want our old lives back, I'd give anything to be just human again, but we can't. We can't go back, only forward. You can't deny who you are, Taj."

"I'm not denying who I am, Jacob,"I replied calmly, matching his determined gaze," But I'm making the choice of what I'm doing with who I am."

He looked at me humorously,"By running away?"

I turned away from him and started to walk off again, but he followed, of course. He sped up ahead of me and watched me from over his shoulder.

"It's a ridiculous solution, Taj. How would you survive? Exiling yourself won't solve anything. We want you here, Taj,"His tone softened and when I looked up, trying to block him out, he was standing in front of me, his hands on my shoulders.

"I want you here."

I stayed silent, biting my lower lip. It really was crazy, how much I'd missed him. But it wasn't fair for him to use that against me. An off spark of resentment swelled in my chest, wanting my own thoughts, to be left alone.

"You're only going to be hurting everyone by running away, your friends, your family. Me, your Mom,"He said logically.

My gaze narrowed as he brought up my Mom. What was this, a guilt trip?

"And what if I hurt them by staying? There's always that possibility,"I said coolly.

"Yeah, there is,"He said honestly, his expression calm,"But that's why we're here, to help you. We'll teach you how to keep yourself under control, you can't do that on your own."

I was quiet for a moment, thinking it over. He did have a point, and if I could learn how to live with this, to control it, then I'd go for it. Because leaving would hurt my family just as much. There were so many questions that I needed to be answered. Jacob did have a good explanation for not telling me, they all did. But could I _trust_ them? And what if I couldn't control myself? I thought about the power, the liquid adrenaline that had been rushing through my veins, the feeling of being able to run and never have to stop, limitless invincibility. I shuddered.

_I'm just..I'm scared. This is hard to deal with,_ I admitted, looking at him, _I mean, with before..it's not hard to consider me flying off the handle. Nothing is going to be the same now._

_It's alright to be scared, but everyone helps each other. That's part of being in the pack, Taj. And I..I would never leave you. I missed you_, Jacob thought suddenly, and I focused on him.

He seemed a lot older and more serious, his eyebrows drawn together, his lips pursed. There were bags under his eyes and he looked like he needed sleep desperately. I could feel the anxiety, the desperation.. I wondered if I really could leave him now, and then I wondered if I could live with the risk of ever hurting him..

Was this the real Jacob? Serious and responsible? I wanted to see his smile, hear him laugh and just be his idiotic self. And how would my Mom look at me now? ..Would she be afraid of me?

I shook my head a little,"Jacob.."I started softly, but then stopped. A gut feeling surged against my dull headache and Jacob caught my eye, a loud, reverberating howl rolled through the forest to us. I realized without much surprise that it was the same one from the night of the bonfire.

Electricity and urgency muffled the air; something was wrong. A vivid image of a clearing popped up in my head, a low sort of crossing in the forest, I could pick out Leah and Quil as if I was standing right next to them.Wow..the legends weren't kidding.

Jacob started but looked at me.

_Please._

I shrugged but nodded, _Okay._

I would give this a chance, just for now.


	17. Chapter 17: Stalk The Assasin

17. Stalk The Assasin

It's a proven fact that people find comfort in routine. When we're worried or upset, we look for order like a junkie crazes for a fix. Doing something, acting, numbs our minds to our disheveled fears. Running with Jacob, focusing on Sam's thoughts, on his radiowave, I guess you could call it, did that for me. I was still freaked out by everything that had happened, but it was muffled by weaving in between the trees and making sure to jump over logs and moss-covered rocks that were in the way. The adrenaline boiled inside me and the beast growled like a distant snarl of thunder. I was amazed at how fast I was, my surroundings were a blur of green and deep brown, and I could briefly feel the whisper of branches near my face, but otherwise the cool breeze was the only comfort. I wanted to keep going, to run even faster, but I could feel a warning from Jacob to stay calm and focus. If I got too caught up I'd change again and shred my clothes.

It wasn't too long before I felt a sort of odd buzzing in my head, like my ears were ringing. I thought that maybe it was from being over-tired, but it manifested as I kept going, growing to the same annoying feeling of a fly buzzing close to your ear.

_We need to act!_

_Where's Paul?_

_The trail is fresh.._

I could hear them inside my head, swiping words at the conversation, everyone fighting to be heard. I could sense each of them, get vague flashes of their surroundings, but I couldn't read them the same way that I could read Jacob. Still, hearing all of them at once was taking it's toll. It was like being in the middle of the dance floor at one of the parties that Jamie and I used to go to, with too many people packed near you and the bass _way_ too loud. It was like you were swelling up and the walls were crushing down. I stopped running and rested my hands on my knees, taking deep breaths as my heart pounded in my chest. Hearing them was like listening to a bees' nest, it was rapid and jumbled, nothing like when I had read Jacob. I noted the difference and wondered why it was as I gently gripped a branch to steady myself.

Jacob had stopped and walked over to me, understanding,"It's because you and I are imprints. You won't be able to understand them the way we understand each other, but you'll be able to understand them better as time goes on. They're pretty shook up about something."

"No kidding,"I mumbled, rubbing my temples and trying to block out the raging sea of thoughts.

"Maybe you should hang back.."Jacob said warily, reaching out to touch my shoulder.

I stepped out of his reach, determined to see what was wrong,"No, I'll be fine, come on."

He lowered his hand to his side, but said nothing, instead following the path into the hollow. I followed resolutely, but hung back when Jacob walked up to Leah and Sam. Leah was kneeled on the ground, her back facing me, but Sam's unreadable gaze was set on me. I felt a snarl grow in the cavern of my chest. Leah was explaining something to Jacob, and as soon as I tried to focus on her thoughts she turned to look at me and gave me a small smile, but she seemed uptight about something. I hesitated a little but walked along the path, the breeze shifting towards me, bringing with it a sweet, but sharp scent that reminded me of a funeral parlor. It was mixed with something even more pungent and it made my stomach churn and the beast rage for war. It was blood.

I walked more quickly, my thoughts panicked as I stopped beside Jacob and I felt my stomach drop at the sight of the dead body that Leah was kneeling next to. The boy was probably around my age, with cropped jet-black hair and high cheek-bones, he had lanky arms and wore a band t-shirt and denim jeans, splattered with his blood. He was curled up in a fetal positions, but right leg was bent out at a sickly angle, the bone probably snapped clean. But what creeped me out the most was how pale his skin had gotten, it looked as if he was suffering from hypothermia, his lips, slightly parted, were dead of color. And his eyes were _still open_, glazed over and staring ahead. His throat was a gouged mess, the blood so thick that it was black. I willed myself not to vomit or scream as the smell filled my nose.

I swallowed a few times, not being able to find my voice, I didn't know whether to be enraged at who did this or shocked. I reached out and hurriedly grabbed Jacob's hand, clutching it tightly for a sense of safety. He squeezed it back gently as the beast in me shook in it's cage and asked for revenge, asked for war, blood for blood for this act.

"Vampires," Leah said, her voice hollow and cool, watching me. It felt like one insane somersault after another, but I couldn't deny what Leah said, because the other half of me snarled at the thought. Rivalries were as old as blood, and that's what werewolves and vampires were. We were enemies by habitual instinct, the same as lions and antelope.

"Here?"I asked, looking at Sam.

"There was a coven that moved here a while ago, the Cullens. We made a treaty with them saying that as long as they stayed off of pack lands and didn't bite any humans, they could stay in peace,"Sam explained as I listened intently,"But one of them broke the treaty, and they scattered after that."

I kneeled next to Leah, looking over the body before glancing at Sam,"How do you know it's them though?"

"Because you've been in contact with one of them, Taj,"Jacob answered simply, but something in his voice caused me to look at him. He had been quiet this whole time. He wouldn't meet my gaze, his brown eyes serious and unreadable, looking down at the corpse, but not _really_ looking at it, if you know what I mean. I tried to reach out to him with my thoughts at first, but then stopped, taking in what he had said.

Who else would actually entertain my idea of werewolves other than someone related with the pack? A vampire, of course.

"_Bella?!"_I exclaimed, shocked.

Sam nodded briefly,"We're positive it's her. The scent at the bodies has been female, and she's a fledgling. They're more prone to falling off the wagon than a more seasoned bloodsucker, if you catch my drift."

I frowned a little,"But I can't tell. And why didn't she..?"I trailed off, glancing at the body.._finish?_

Wait,"I said realizing something as my eyes widened in horror,"Bodie_s?"_

This wasn't the only time?

"You're new, you haven't developed all of your senses yet. Plus that, you have nothing to compare the scent with, and hopefully, you won't,"Sam said, looking at the corpse and nodding briefly,"Yes, usually it'd be more..messy, with a fledgling on it's own. That's why we suspect that she isn't by herself. One of the others could have caught her in the act before she was done."

"And..yes. We found one other body, Teresa Young, the girl that was missing. We suspect that the vampires got Joe McCartney as well, but we never found a body,"Sam answered slowly.

The group fell into momentary silence and I took in the information. This was really, really terrible. And the other half of me asked why had I even come back?

_Nothing good ever came of finding rotting corpses_, the beast hissed in my ear.

"Wouldn't they try to cover up the body?"I asked after clearing my throat, ignoring the thoughts in my head.

"For most vampires in areas like this, no . A body could decompose out here without anyone finding it for months. Fledglings usually don't anyways, they're messy, like I said before. But with the last two bodies we discovered, the scent has been fresh, so they could have sensed us before they had time to clean up properly. Or there's always the possibility that they just aren't bothering. They know we run through the area, and we already found one body."

I settled into silence, taking all of this in. _Bella_, a_ vampire?_ I pictured her beautiful, yet arrogant features, her alluring, aristocratic air. A killing machine? But it added up. I remembered feeling somewhat unsettled around her, remembered how quickly she had grabbed my necklace that morning at the café. I thought about how the air around her seemed almost frigid, but beautifully so. I watched as a pool of blood manifested next to the corpse's throat and shuddered at how easily Bella could have killed _me._

But wait..

"You're_ positive _it's her?"Jacob asked out of his reverie.

Leah stood slowly, holding something up for Jacob and I to see. It was a nylon bracelet, a small wooden wolf charm dangling from it. Bella's bracelet.

I looked at Jacob quickly, but his face showed no expression, his eyes focusing on the bracelet as Leah put it in my palm.

"Emry, Paul, Jay and Quil have gone off to follow possible trails,"Sam said slowly,"We'll have to attack the vampires once we find them."

His tone was calm, but a grim air settled on all of us. I watched Jacob and gently squeezed his hand, wondering how he felt. What _had _been his relationship with Bella? Had they been friends, enemies? Had she stabbed him in the back? Either way, she seemed to mean something to him, and Jacob meant something to her. Another thought settled in my mind.

"You mean, like, fight them?"I said.

"Not you,"Jacob said suddenly, startling me, his gaze was on me now,"You're not fighting anyone."

"What?!"I said,"If you think I'm just letting you guys run off to danger with me standing on the sidelines, you're sadly mistaken."

"You'd be more in the way than helping anyways, Taj,"Sam said, not unkindly,"Fighting any vampire is difficult, even for an experienced werewolf. You would be an easy target for them. You'll have to stay behind."

I frowned, but stayed quiet, even I couldn't argue with Sam. But there were a couple of things that were bugging me, even though Bella's bracelet was resting in the palm of my hand. Once I had entertained the idea of being a werewolf to Bella that morning, wouldn't she want to do me in? If she knew that the werewolves were after her and her family, wouldn't she have killed me off to increase her chances of surviving? She'd known who I was ever since that day at the mall, even before that. She'd had countless opportunities to kill me off if she suspected that I was a werewolf. And even if I hadn't been, what would it have mattered to her if she was really that heartless?

And why had the Cullens come back to Forks after breaking the treaty anyways? It would be an idiotic move on their part. There were too many gaps in information, not everything could be based on one piece of evidence, could it? I mean, true, there weren't really any other suspects. But what if it was a different fledgling, or whatever Sam had said. But then there was her bracelet being held against her..

Even though the cards seemed to be against Bella, there were still some questions that needed to be answered before anything serious happened. But I'd have to go to the source for answers..

_We have a trail!_

Even I could hear the anxious thought from Embry, seeing the meadow and the river where he and Quil were.

Jacob, Leah and Sam darted off behind the trees to change without a second thought, I thought about trying to stop them, but this could give me an opportunity to get away..or follow them. If I showed up, voiced my thoughts, maybe I could stop the fight. Sure, I'd get in trouble, but what else was new?

Jacob then jumped out from the brush, in his werewolf form, his intelligent eyes watched me. He was roughly the size of a horse, his fur a scruffy brownish-red. And when I looked at him the same rush of feelings came again, a part of me wanting to simply leave him without a second thought, and another part of me wanting to hug him and never have to let go. I was both deliriously happy to be around him,..that I _loved _Jacob.. and at the same time apathetic. What were we now? What was _I? _

_Stay here, and I mean this exact spot. Okay?_He thought.

_Girl scout's honor_, I thought back briefly, and without comment he turned and darted off into the brush again.

There would be another time to talk with him.

It was funny how I could sense where Jacob, Leah and Sam were, but I couldn't hear them. They had experience and knew how to be quiet.

I looked down at the body, kneeling next to it and closed the boy's eye-lids, feeling the cold skin under my finger-tips. I would stop this fight if I could help it, I couldn't bear the idea of one of my friends getting hurt. True, they had pushed me away, lied to me, and I still didn't trust the idea of being in a 'pack', but they were my friends, nonetheless.

Maybe there was a way that I could find Bella or one of those vampires before the pack did. But I wouldn't be able to do it as a human. I'd need the full extent of my senses and instincts to scope one of them out, or Bella at least.

I stood up and walked behind some trees and changed silently, putting the bracelet in the sack tied around my ankle along with my clothes. I thought about the possible risk of doing this and closed my eyes. I let down the mental walls that I'd put up to hold back the snarling beast and raging adrenaline, it came rushing all at once, and within moments fire filled my veins along with a feeling of pride and invincibility; reckless abandon. And the snarls and growls that raged in my chest escaped through my jaws as I was lost to the beast that I fought and embraced.

When I opened my eyes the edges of my vision were blurred, I took in the scent of pine and damp soil, and the smell of blood and that sickly, sharp scent was intensified. I listened to the sounds of the birds chirping and calling out to one another, becoming a part of the soil underneath my paws. I'd never felt so connected to everything, it made the thought of being human boring and ignorant. I growled to myself, thinking about the image that Embry had sent out, of the meadow and the stream, and I took off.

It was stupid, I know, but I didn't really have a set out plan of how to find Bella..at least, not yet. I figured that I could follow a good distance behind Jacob and Sam and the others, but they'd sense me sooner or later. And I didn't even know if it was Bella that they were following, and how would I get the chance to talk to her alone? Well, they'd caught someone's scent, so the meadow seemed like the best idea for now. Plus, stopping a possible fight was what mattered most, what I needed to do was be able to talk to everyone. Try to get them to listen..

I kept a steady pace even though Sam, Leah and Jacob had gotten a good head start. I did my best to focus on the direction I was going, following the similar scent that Jacob, Leah and Sam had left behind. I could just follow their trail to the meadow..

A different scent mixed in with the damp air and I stopped, my paws spraying dirt. I stood still and turned my head to the sky, sniffing the air, trying to catch it again..

I hadn't caught it long enough to recognize it, I looked at the tree-tops to see which direction the wind was going in when I sensed someone behind me.

I snarled and whipped around, lowering into a defensive stance, when my growl was cut short by surprise.

Bella stood a few feet away from me, her eyes watching me closely, a slow smile spreading on her lips,"_You_,"She murmured, and I couldn't help but shudder at the way she'd said it, how the air suddenly felt cold, like she'd consumed the heat. I briefly wondered why I'd been looking for her again..

"I've been looking for you,"She said slowly, her features sharp; a cruel beauty. And by the expression on her face I couldn't tell if that was a good or a bad thing.


	18. Chapter 18: Fire And Ice

18.Fire And Ice

"Now calm down, I just want to talk,"Bella spoke with such a calmness that I met her gaze, keeping very still, so as not to trigger off a reaction from her, but at the same time not wanting to stay still for fear of a quick attack. She walked out of th shadows like a priestess, and the few stray rays of sunlight fell on her translucent skin and made it sparkle in the light the way spider-webs glisten with rain-drops after a Spring storm. I saw this and blinked, remembering all of the billboards in Seattle advertising make-up and some name brand clothing, and I thought that all the models and advertising companies were being regulated by how Bella looked, not the other way around. She

approached me cautiously, like a dangerous animal that could be set off by the faintest snap of a twig, like I was the only monster and I couldn't help but snarl at that, standing up taller.

Bella stopped and lowered her hands a little,"..I can only imagine what they've told you, but I need to talk to you because you're the only one that will listen. Please, Taj..I need your help."

I snapped myself out of it after she said this, Bella seemed like one of those people that never needed anyone's help, that she had it all under control. I was risking a lot by doing this, and I'm sure the pack would be angry, but this was information that I needed, and Bella needed my help. I was willing to give her a hand, vampire or not. I trotted off towards the trees and after a couple of tries changed back and put my clothes on, keeping Bella's bracelet in my hand, jogging back out to Bella, who was standing in the same spot as before.

"..I need to talk to you, too,"I said slowly, clearing my throat.

"What do you have there?"Bella asked, already spotting the bracelet in my hand, she held up her arm, the bracelet dangling on her wrist,"I have one just like it."

I widened my eyes in shock, looking at the bracelet. If Bella still had her bracelet, then she hadn't attacked anyone.

"We found this at one of the bodies,"I said to Bella walking closer to her, ignoring the sweet, sickly scent,"The pack thinks that you and your clan are responsible for the missing people."

Bella's eyes widened,"But none of us have attacked anyone! And I've had my bracelet this whole time."

"Someone's framing you,"I nodded, perplexed,"But who else could do this?"

Bella thought for a moment and shook her head,"We can figure this out later, I need to tell you something first. My family is beginning to think the pack is responsible for the disappearance of my sister, Rosalie. The pack is in danger. Edmund and Jasper think that the pack is trying to use Rosalie as bait to lure us out and carry out the treaty."

"Bella.."I said shaking my head, trying to find the words quickly enough, being startled by this news,"You have to believe me, the pack has had nothing to do with Rosalie's disappearance."

Bella shook her head, frowning,"I didn't think they did, I've known everyone, I'm close with Jacob. He wouldn't let the pack do that anyways."

I let out a slow breath of relief, thinking quickly,"You have no idea where she could be?"

Bella began slowly,"She's been missing for a couple of weeks now. She and my brother, Edmund, along with my husband Edward and I, came to the house to pick up something for Carlisle and Esme, other members of my family. We decided to stay for a couple of days and Rosalie went out hunting by herself one morning, but she never came back, Edmund sent out an emergency, calling the rest of my family to come to Forks to look for her. But we've had to be careful because of the treaty. Otherwise I would have said something sooner."

I paused for a moment, biting my lower lip as I tried to give Bella some sort of answer or solid information to hold on to. I thought that maybe for a moment I was seeing the old Bella, whoever she had been, instead of the cool, sultry vampire, because I could see a vulnerability and pleading in her eyes. I thought that it was probably the same look the lions had when they walked from their cages into the center ring at the circus and instead of seeing their prized kingdom they saw hundreds of oggling eyes and laughing children as they performed their ridiculous stunts. And vampire or not, I didn't want to see her like that, I didn't want to see anyone like that.

That's what Mel had said my problem was, not in a mean way of course. She said that I trusted people too easily, and I hadn't said anything against it, because it had been perfectly true. I was a mat that people could walk on when they were in a sticky situation and just as easily step away without a second though or acknowledging glance. Because I never asked for anything back. People used it to take advantage of me, it had happened before, with Jamie and with other 'friends'. But I wasn't bitter about it, or at least bitter enough to ask for payback, because it had been the right thing to do to help them out, and that's what mattered to me. And if anything matters, it's what matters to you.

"I'm really sorry to hear about your sister, and I'll do whatever I can to help you,"I said quietly, but then asked something else,"..But why did you come to talk to me? Why not Jacob? He would have listened."

Bella hesitated, as if trying to choose her words carefully,"Things have been..awkward between Jacob and I since I was turned. I've known him since before he was a werewolf and I became a vampire, he was my best friend, he still is. I saw him earlier, when he found you, and we got into a fight..I was nervous, and a little jealous to, I guess. But..I'm just nervous that we won't be able to be friends anymore, you know? Like there'll be some sort of rivalry between us, that he'd think of me differently. That he wouldn't see me as I used to be,"Bella paused, continuing more strongly as she found out how to describe it,"That he would see how I am now and forget that I'm still the same old Bella on the inside."

"I was still checking in on him now and then though, and I saw you with him and the pack. So I saw you that day at the mall to get my own opinion..and then I noticed you hanging out with the pack more, especially Jacob. So, I figured that you must be a werewolf, and after talking with you that morning it was a dead give-away. I opted to speak with you more than Jacob because of how awkward I felt thinking of seeing him, and I knew that you would listen. You have a good heart, I can feel it,"Bella finished.

I was quiet for a few moments, taking all of this in,"Um, thank you, Bella. But why were you jealous..and you were _spying_ on me?"

"Well, yes,"Bella admitted sheepishly,"I was curious. And I wanted to make sure you wouldn't bring trouble to the pack, or to Jacob. As for the jealousy, well..you've become a werewolf and Jacob still sees you as you are."

"Bella,"I said slowly, feeling touched, but wanting to assure her,"I'm sure if you just talked to Jacob and hung out with him for a little while you two would break the ice and everything would be fine again. You shouldn't let your fear or anxiety ruin your friendship with him, Jacob wouldn't judge you differently, I know he wouldn't. Isolating yourself from him is only making you unhappy and thinking 'what if'."

"Thank you, Taj,"Bella said and a small strained smile came to her lips,"I needed to hear that. But I don't even know if I'd be allowed to be around Jacob with the treaty being broken, even though it would be nice to see him."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes,"_Again_ with this stupid treaty. I'm not hacking away at anyone, and you're not maiming anyone either. We're getting along fine."

Bella shook her head a little as she folded her arms, amused,"You are quite an odd werewolf."

"Tell me about it,"I laughed humorlessly,"This whole thing has been a roller-coaster ride since it started. "

She looked at me with an odd expression which I realized was concern, she said, nodding,"You are divided, two separate sides. Fire and ice."

I quirked an eyebrow,"You can understand that?"

Bella nodded again,"Reading people is a gift of vampires, some can do it more easily than others. When people are upset or excited, they call out for help subconsciously, I can feel that. You're easy to read, probably because of your recent turning. Are you okay, Taj?"

I shrugged my shoulders, succumbing to Bella's probing,"..I don't know, I guess I am. I mean, what am I going to do about it, you know? It is what it is. But it's like there's another side of me now, the wolf part of me. And I'm either fighting it or embracing it, there's this adrenaline rush when you change, but there's the risk of me hurting someone or.."

"Losing yourself?"Bella said helpfully.

"Yeah,"I nodded,"But not only that, there's the pack too, and Jacob. They expect me to stay and join them, it's a commitment. But there's something about it that I don't like..it's so conformed and.."I shook my head slightly,"I want to be able to figure things out on my own first. But I love Jacob, and it would just kill my Mom. So I wouldn't leave, but that doesn't mean I'd be a part of the pack, either."

"Taj, you can't expect to fall into step overnight. It takes some getting used to, as for the pack, well, you have to remember, their your friends, no matter what. They don't see you as just a werewolf, and you can't look at them that way, either,"Bella explained,"And as for the whole 'split personality', just listen to yourself, your integrity will see you through."

It was nice to just sit and talk, I couldn't have been more grateful to just get all of my thoughts out to someone for once.

"Thanks, Bella,"I smiled slightly, knowing that deep down, she was right; this would all take time. I felt that this conversation had brought us closer together, and I was glad that I had found a friend in her.

"No problem,"Bella replied, letting out a slow breath as she thought,"We'll need to keep my family and the pack away from each other though until we can figure out who is doing this."

"I could try talking to the pack, but I doubt they would believe me, especially with Paul,"I commented,"I'll do my best though, and I'll get Jacob's help. Maybe I could speak with your family to convince them that the pack didn't even know about Rosalie?"

"That's a good idea, and it'll be a plus that you're willing to speak with them, despite the treaty,"Bella said, leaning against a boulder,"We could go now, if you wouldn't mind. It would stop my family from seeking out any of the pack members."

The idea of meeting a family of potentially angry vampires didn't seem appealing, but this was important and we were short on time,"Sure."

"Okay, come on,"Bella said, standing up swiftly and starting off through the bushes.

"But what about Rosalie?"I asked as I caught up to Bella and slowed my pace, frowning.

Bella shrugged helplessly,"There are very few ways to keep a vampire contained..and only one way to kill one, and it is extremely difficult. But my other sister, Alice, is positive that Rosalie is alive, she just can't locate her. When she pins her down, I guess you could say, she only sees darkness. Only vampires and werewolves would know how to kill a vampire..or the odd human that might know about us, I suppose."

I paused for a moment as Bella's words struck me with an idea, actually stopping as my thoughts turned to episodes of _Buffy The Vampire Slayer_,"..You mean like a slayer?"

Bella stopped and looked at me,"Well, yes,"She then added,"Wait, are you suggesting.."

"Well, why not?"I said.

"It's an idea, but it would take a lot of man power to capture a vampire,"Bella mused,"And for what reason if they wanted to just kill vampires off? Why not get everyone at once?"

I frowned, thinking what I would do if I was a slayer.."Well, it would be difficult, like you said. But this eprson would have experience, you would have to pick the most efficient and safest way possible.."

Taking a vampire while they were out on their own would be easy compared to attacking a whole family at once, which seemed impossible. But why just attack one and then leave the rest? It was leaving the job unfinished..unless you had someone else to do the job for you.

"..But what if this person, or group, whomever, knew about the pack, too.. about the treaty,"I said slowly, coming out of my reverie,"They wouldn't have to attack a clan of vampires themselves when they already had a pack of werewolves. Why get your hands dirty? And, if this person was lucky, maybe the vampires could take out some of the werewolves as well, if this person didn't like werewolves either."

"..Then they could just do the murders themselves to stimulate the werewolves.."Bella said slowly, her eyes brightening with epiphany as we slowly unraveled the tapestry of this plot.

"And kid-nap a vampire to stimulate the coven,"I finished,"This person was framing your family to get the werewolves to think that you were behind the murders, but kid-napped you sister to lead your family to believe that the pack was behind it. That explains the bracelet, and why only your sister is missing."

"Whoever this person is, they certainly know what they're doing,"Bella murmured.

I nodded,"And we have to find them before they cause any more damage. It must be someone who's close to the pack, since no one in town knows that your family is back. And we're the only ones that know about your family really, anyways."

Bella watched me quizzically,"But who would do this to the pack, and hurt innocent people in the process?"

"Someone pretty messed up, that's who,"I replied coolly, thinking about all of the people associated with the pack..Billy, Leah's mom..

"Let's keep going and we'll think of possible suspects when we get to the coven, our time is short,"Bella said, turning again to head on.

But then I caught a faint, familiar scent and my head snapped up, my eyes catching faint movement in the trees,"Bella,"I said desperately, trying to anticipate where Paul would jump out.

But she had seen it too and deftly jumped out of the way as a hulking gray figure jumped out from the brush like a leopard, snapping feeble branches in it's horrid flight, it's open jaws revealing shining ivories in a menacing sneer. Paul's striking eyes were only for Bella as she deftly jumped back near a fallen tree, her apprehension telling her to leave but not wanting to leave me alone. Almost as an afterthought Paul's gaze snapped to me and I could feel a wave of surprise radiate from him, and I knew that our feeble time had passed.


	19. Chapter 19: Thicker Than Water

19.Thicker Than Water

"Bella, run home!"I shouted to her and then reacted without a second thought, jumping up to meet Paul as I felt the sensation of fire strip down my spine heat and extinguish every part of me, leaving new senses and muscles in it's wake. I met Paul in mid leap and forced him back against a tree, our weight snapping it cleanly in two.

He attempted to throw me off of him even before we hit the ground, howling in fury as his blue eyes promised death if I did not leave him alone.

_What are you doing, Taj?_ He thought to me in a mix of surprise and fury, _She's the one you're supposed to be attacking._

_Not today, Paul, _I thought backas I attempted to hold him down despite his flailing limbs and kicking legs.

_Get off of me! She's killed all of those people and you're letting her get away!_ And then with a final kick from his legs, right into my stomach, he tossed me off of him and leaped up again, dashing into the brush, _Fine, if you can't carry this out, then I will._

I coughed and tried to catch the breath that had been knocked out of me, scrambling up. Bella was gone by now, but it would be easy to follow her trail. I couldn't let Paul get to her. I took off into the brush after Paul, which came back to a meadow, and I spotted Paul already half-way through it, chasing after Bella who was heading toward another stretch of woods at the end of the large meadow. He was probably calling the other pack members, I didn't have much time.

With a growl of frustration I darted down the slope, my legs stretching out at top speed and gaining on Paul fast.

_Paul, you have to stop! Please, it's not what you think, there's more going on than you know! _I thought to him as I ran, pushing myself to keep going as adrenaline rushed through my veins.

_Taj, if you want to be in this pack, then you're going to have to follow the rules. The treaty is the bottom line,_ Paul snapped just as Bella reached the hulking shadows of the forest.

_If you're going to choose some ran-sacked hunt over common sense, then maybe I don't want to be in the pack! _I replied with just as much fury, despite all of this going on, it felt like the world had shrunk down to the furious beating of my heart, which was pounding fast enough that I calmly deemed it possible that I could go into cardiac arrest right now.I could hear the thumping of it in my head, like a stop-watch, and at the same time it felt like the only muscle that mattered in my chest, pumping electricity but only having the static waves hit my bones and bounce back. If I didn't act now, before Paul got into the woods, I'd never have a chance to get a clean jump on him. We were just reaching the shadows of the trees when I surged forward, becoming airborne before landing on Paul with a raging snarl as my jaws clamped down on his shoulder.

He let out a howl of pain and wrath as we tumbled over each other across the grass, and Paul took a backseat to his fury. Within our jumble his jaws clamped on my foreleg and a razor wave of pain raced up my arm, into my shoulder. I growled threateningly as he pulled me off of him, my back smacking against the ground and he attempted to snap at my stomach.

I reacted quickly and leaped up, my jaws closing around the side of his neck, getting a mouthful of his thick fur as I forced him to the ground. I was seeing red by now, and though his paws flailed and scratched at my shoulder and chest, I would not let go. My jaws were clamped tightly around his windpipe, and I even went as far as to attempt to shake Paul as if he was nothing more than a mere rag-doll. Of course, I couldn't do this because of how heavy he was. His attempts to push me off of him were getting weaker and slowing down. The thought that I might be suffocating him hadn't occurred to me.

_Taj..stop.._Paul thought, coming out of his blind rage, but his thoughts didn't register to me, and his voice was weak and muffled in my mind. I wasn't myself anymore, or at least right now, the beast was in control, and was doing just as it pleased.

_HEY! Get off of him!_A different voice screamed in my mind, Leah's, I noted as an afterthought. I was so distracted that I didn't hear the pounding footfalls until I finally let go of Paul and turned my head to see who it was, getting ready to attack again, but Sam had already pinned me down before I could blink. Another volcanic burst of anger surged through me at being pinned down and I whipped my head around to see Sam's golden eyes watching me. I snarled a warning.

_Just calm down Taj..take it easy_, He thought as I tried to struggle. But it was impossible to move so I stopped and looked around.

Leah had phased back and was sitting by Paul, helping him, but his eyes were open, watching me. Jay had slowed down to a walk and was wandering over to Paul, but Embry, Quil, and Jacob stood nearby, still as werewolves, watching Sam and I.

As I slowly came back down to earth I wanted to just tell them to go away, I wanted to tell Sam to get off of me so I could just go home. My heartbeat slowed down and everything came back into focus, and I thought about how I could have nearly killed Paul.

Jacob walked over to me and I felt understanding radiate from him, _What happened?_

_She almost killed me, that's what happened!_ Paul snapped_._

_Like none of us have done that before,_ Embry thought, and I could almost see a laughing glint in Quil's eyes.

_I'm guessing the vampire is long gone,_ Sam thought calmly.

_Yeah, she's gone_, I said, _Can you get off of me now?_

Sam then moved off of me and I stood up slowly, shaking my fur. Jacob walked over and sat next to me, gently touching my shoulder with his nose. I felt better knowing that he was here.

_You're bleeding,_ He thought, and I looked down at where Paul had bitten me, almost forgetting about it. There was so much _blood!_ It raced down from the bite wound in rivers, turning my fur pink. Thankfully I wasn't the squeamish type.

_I'll be okay_, I thought briefly, even though my arm was sore..along with every other part of my body.

_I can't believe you managed to pin Paul_, Quil thought with a sense of pride as he looked at me.

_Neither can I, _Sam interrupted, and our little group's chagrin was washed away,_ This is serious._

_Thank you,_Paul thought exasperatedly as he sat down near Sam.

_Taj is new, it's likely for her to lose her cool, _Embry thought defensively, _And it wasn't like Paul was focused on her anyways._

_..Still, it's odd for a new phaser to take down a seasoned werewolf. She shouldn't even be alone.._Sam thought as his condescending gaze turned to Jacob and I.

I looked over to Jacob to see that he was eyeing me down as well, growling in mild annoyance, _I __**told you **__to stay put._

_Well there was something that I needed to say, it has to do with the coven_, I thought back, unphased, _I wasn't going to let a possible fight take place if I could prevent it._

_You didn't have to..that bulky one got away,_ Jay thought bitterly as he walked over to our circle with Leah.

_Bulky one? _I asked curiously.

_Edmund_, Jacob answered me, _Quil and Embry found his trail, and they managed to have him cornered. But he gave Quil a run for his money and then got away. Vampires are pig-headed, but they're not stupid._

_By the time the slow-pokes showed up we got the call from Paul, _Embry thought.

_But apparently she got away, too, _Jay thought curtly.

_I would have had her if it wasn't for Taj going phsyco on me, _Paul thought bitterly, _When I found her, she was with Taj. The two of them had been talking about something. Taj didn't want me to attack her._

_Well, if you had just stopped to listen to me, I wouldn't have gone all ape on you, _I snapped back.

_Well, we're listening now ,Taj, _Sam interrupted_, What's going on?_

_When I went to look for you guys Bella found me, and I noticed that she still had her bracelet on. She said that she wanted to talk to me, her sister, Rosalie has gone missing and their coven is blaming it on us, she wanted to warn us because she didn't think that we did it, _I began,_ She said that the reason they came back to Forks in the first place was to just pick something up from their house, but then Rosalie went missing, so they've been trying to find her. They didn't even know about the murders._

_Then who do you suggest is the culprit behind these murders? _Paul asked nastily.

_Well, Bella and I have a theory, _I thought_, What if a slayer was framing her family to provoke us to attack them, and this person also kid-napped her sister to provoke the vampires to come after us. Thus, causing a fight._

_A human? Kid-napping one of those bloodsuckers? _Jay asked_, Highly unlikely._

_The last time Bella said that they heard from Rosalie she said she was going out hunting,_ I said defensively, even though I could already feel my argument crumbling to dust.

_That's still difficult to believe, _Sam said.

_Can I ask who 'suggested' this whole Slayer theory? _Paul asked humorously.

_I did_, I snapped coolly, looking at Sam and Jay, _So you think Bella is lying?_

_..She is a vampire, Taj, _Leah thought slowly, _They can be manipulative, they waste others for their own survival. They'll do what they can to save their skin._

_But we fought with them by our sides once, _Embry said, to my relief, as he glanced at me, _It's a feasible idea. They wouldn't hang around because of the treaty, and Taj even said Bella had the bracelet._

_What if she made another one? Jay asked, Maybe they want their home back and are using this plot as a lure to try to do us in._

_Are you crazy? _I asked, looking at Jay.

_We've known Bella for years, _Jacob added, _She wouldn't do this to us._

_Well if you haven't noticed, Jacob, your childhood sweetheart is one of those parasites now. Have you even spoken to her since she was bitten? For all we know that bouncer husband of hers and the rest of 'em brainwashed her, _Paul thought.

Jacob, to my amazement, became silent, seeming to be torn.

_..Blood before friendship_, Quil thought slowly,_ Bella is different now._ _Plus, there are lives at stake. You haven't seen her family, Taj. You don't fully understand what's going on._

_I understand that you're choosing some stupid treaty over a friendship, _I thought_, You're choosing a war without looking into another possible explanation._

I looked at Jacob, _I spoke with Bella about you, and she's sorry that she snapped at you. She was just nervous that you would only see her as a vampire, not as the old Bella. That you would act differently around her._

_You spoke with her?_ Leah asked suddenly, and all eyes were on Jacob.

He glanced at me for a moment, and I thought that maybe I'd said something wrong, but then he thought, _Yes, when I found Taj, Bella found us._ _We got into an argument because Bella was the one that tipped Taj off about being a werewolf in the first place. But she left before Taj woke up._

_See?_ I asked suddenly, looking around_, Why would Bella entertain the idea of me being a werewolf when instead she could have simply killed me before I had the chance to phase. If they were trying to kill us off, she could have simply done that to start._

_She has a good point, _Embry added, looking at Sam.

_..But if she killed Taj, then we'd know that the vampires were trying to kill us off, _Paul thought_, It could be a part of their plan._

_You're intolerable! _I thought, losing it.

_No, I just have the best interests of __**the pack**__, _Paul thought, putting emphasis on the end of the thought.

My gaze narrowed_, And what's that supposed to mean?_

_Well, you're off talking to vampires secretly..even protecting them, and you nearly killed me, _Paul thought_, You don't even want to be in the pack. Plus that, the only possible suspects for your idea would be someone in the pack, or associated with it. The people that the vampires would be wanting to take out._

I could only blink at him but Jacob was growling next to me and Quil had stood up.

_So you're suggesting that Taj is in cahoots with the bloodsuckers? _Quil asked, _Now __**that's**__ ridiculous._

_Well whatever's going on, they're obviously using Taj as an outlet, _Paul said.

_He has a point._.Sam thought, _Taj, I don't want you going near any of them, you're going to be under watch. ..But what's this about the pack?_

_If being in the pack means carrying out some self-righteous bounty hunt, then I'm not buying in, _I thought calmly.

_But Taj, we said-_Jacob thought quickly.

_I never said I was leaving Forks, Jacob, I'm just not going to be in the pack,_ I reassured him.

_So now she can go talk with those parasites without any problems, _Paul thought snidely.

Jacob growled in warning.

_Sam, you can't just let her do this, _Quil thought suddenly.

_STOP IT! _Sam thought suddenly and everyone became quiet and still.

His gaze traveled from Quil to Paul, _There is nothing I can do. We can't force someone to join the pack. The treaty is pack law, and if Taj doesn't want to follow it, then she isn't in the pack. Personally, I don't blame her for not wanting to put up with certain people.._

_As for the vampires, based on what __**we**__ have seen, we are going to carry out the treaty. The people of Forks are in danger, as now is the pack, it seems. And I'm not going to put any more lives at risk if I can help it. _

A silence followed and then Sam's gaze settled on me,_ Taj, you're on your own, but don't think we won't be watching if anything suspicious is going on. As for the pack..our offer is always open,_ He then stood and turned away from me, looking around at the pack, _We'll have to go back to Emily's to regroup and figure out what we're going to do, I have a feeling it won't be long before we run into Carlisle's family again._

Then Sam picked up a sort of trot and headed off into the woods, along with the rest of them. Quil glanced back at me a couple of times, as though convinced I'd change my mind and start following, but he gave up and disappeared into the safe curtain of shadow. Then it was just Jacob and I.

I looked over at him, but he stayed silent and continued to watch the trees even after Quil had left, then he turned away from me and walked into the trees to phase back. I wondered briefly if he was angry with me. When he walked back out to me he was pulling his shirt over his head and I tried not to stare, acting as if I was looking at an interesting patch of grass instead.

"These aren't going to fit, but they'll do for now,"Jacob said, tossing a shirt and a pair of his jeans at my feet,"You're lucky that I always carry extra with me."

When I met his gaze he was smiling a little and that reassured me, then I picked up the clothes carefully in my mouth and trotted into the brush to phase back. The shirt was baggy, but I didn't mind, the jeans were worn in and comfortable, but they were huge on me and I had to keep pulling them up. I would never get used to being a werewolf. When I walked out into the meadow again I wondered if Jacob had left for Emily's but he was laying in the grass, soaking up the warm rays of the noon sun.

I walked over to him and sat down, and he took my hand and squeezed it as his eyes met mine, and I couldn't have remembered a time when I'd been happier, except for that day that I'd been looking over the Charger with Eric.

"I don't understand why you won't join the pack,"He said suddenly, but it didn't surprise me,"Well, I do, but still..I don't want you to be alone."

"They're focusing more on the treaty than what's at hand, Jacob, and I'm not going to attack someone who I think is innocent, vampire or not,"I said slowly, giving him a smile,"Plus, I won't be alone, I have you."

"And don't you dare forget that,"He said seriously, but he couldn't keep the goofy grin from his face as he sat up and kissed my cheek swiftly.

I couldn't help but smile as fire rushed over my skin, I pushed hm back on the ground jokingly, my smile slowly fading.

"But what are you going to do?"I asked, frowning a little,"Shouldn't you be going to Emily's?"

"I can catch up with them later,"He answered, sitting up again, then thought for a few moments, shrugging,"..I don't know. I can't go against pack law, but I don't want to hurt Bella either, she's still my friend. As for that fight..I can understand, and I forgive her. I was always apprehensive about seeing her after she was bitten, if she would be different."

"Maybe you could try talking to her again,"I suggested helpfully.

Jacob shook his head,"I don't think so Taj."

"Why?"I asked, perplexed.

"..It's complicated,"He said,"..It's just the way things are now. It would be better if we didn't talk to each other anymore."

I became silent, I accepted Jacob's answer, even though I didn't understand it. I got along with Bella fine. But, there would always be things in life that we didn't understand.

"Do you think my theory is ridiculous?"I asked him calmly, resting my chin on my knees as I hugged my legs.

Jacob shook his head,"No, but I don't think it's entirely believable, I mean, there could be a slayer. I just can't think of who it would be, everyone is so loyal to the pack. And how do you know that Bella is telling the truth?"

I frowned,"But you just said before you didn't think Bella would hurt the pack."

"I don't,"Jacob answered, his expression somber,"But I **know** that Bella would protect her family first. I don't think she's out to get the pack, but she'll do whatever she can to keep her family safe."

"But that doesn't explain everything going on with Rosalie, and she wanted me to go meet her family and speak with them,"I told Jacob.

"It could have been a wild goose chase to distract you and earn your sympathy, her family could put on an act to convince you that they're not as bad as they seem. Then, they'd probably go and make a run for it while we were distracted. Vampires _are_ manipulative, Taj, and you're new, you're naive, no offense,"Jacob told me simply.

I just stared at him, I couldn't believe that he was still unconvinced. Bella had been his _friend_, and he still thought that she was lying. It was like talking to a wall. I decided to ignore the naive comment.

Jacob read my thoughts,"Taj, I just find it more unlikely that someone from the pack would be betraying us than a vampire lying to us. It all revolves around loyalty and family, werewolves and vampires have been enemies since the beginning of time."

I sighed slowly, watching as a butterfly fluttered past, it's wings a bright yellow, seeming even brighter in the sun. I could understand where Jacob was coming from now, but I still stood by my choice. Bella and I would find out who was doing this and prove them wrong. We would just have to do it quickly.

"..I guess I understand,"I murmured, my gaze turning away from the butterfly as it disappeared into the distance, going to him,"But can you accept my choice?"

"I don't have much choice myself, do I?"Jacob asked with an almost sad smile,"The pack laws don't apply to you, Taj, so do what you will. ..But be careful, for my sake."

I shrugged,"I'll try."

"Good enough,"He said, thinking again,"You're going to be speaking with Bella and the Cullens again, aren't you?"

I nodded, smiling a little.

"I wish you wouldn't. Paul will be looking for any opportunity to force you into a corner. And that means I'm going to have to make sure you don't get found out."

"I knew you would understand,"I smiled brightly.

Jacob rolled his eyes,"The things I do for love."

I frowned and pushed him again, a little bit more roughly than before, but still in good humor,"Well, then you can get love some pants that fit."

"Aren't you going to go home?"Jacob asked, laying on the ground again, one of his eyebrows quirked.

I hesitated,"I'm not sure if I'm ready to face them yet. I.."

Jacob didn't wait for me to explain,"You can stay at my house until you're ready to go home. Billy doesn't need to know about your choice with the pack yet."

"Thank you,"I said gratefully,"I'll need some of my clothes though, I could sneak up into my room and grab some stuff."

Jacob stood up, offering me his hand,"Let's go then."

And I looked up into his bright, smiling face and took his hand, letting him pull me up to my feet. As the two of us started off towards the woods and my house, hand entwined, I remembered something that my mom had told me that I still believe in to this day, that if you have people that love you, then you can get through anything.


End file.
